How much space do I need to give him? Serious need for advice here...

[asianbarbie0917]

As some of u guys have read, My SO and i got into a very large fight a few weeks ago and ever since then he's been giving me the cold shoulder. Its become evident to me that i just need to give him his space, and then when he comes to visit just work everything out (I know he could never remain mad with me in person).

Problem is... I'm a very paranoid person I keep on thinking that he's going to break it all off and just give up (he gets discouraged easily...). I dont think he's cheating or anything, but its like in doing this that he wants to sever off his ties with me? I also have an issue of saying that Im not going to call... or text... but then i just see my phone and i end up doing it anyways!!!I dont want to keep annoying him if he's trying to clear things up in his mind, but i get very worried if I dont try to contact him (and i feel even worse when he doesnt answer: all this week)

When he's home Im not too sure how he's going to be. he's always been the most amazing boyfriend to me and he hates to drag things on, but i guess this time its different, a completely different version of him. Granted he just got out of Basic training, but I still dont see it as an excuse. I can only hope that once he sees me after all of this that his doubts will dissapear, and im kinda holding onto that for right now.

Can I get any input or other experiences like this?

O. another thing. today is our anniversary... and he hasnt even called.

[MadMolly]

When was the last time you had contact with him, and do you have a visit or something planned where you can sort out these issues? Space is one thing but complete lack of contact isn't much of a relationship :/

[wondergirl]

He sounds either really busy or really pissed off. Could be either. Or maybe he's just mentally disturbed about the state of affairs between the 2 of you, and wants a temporary "break" from communicating with you. I would urge you not to jump to conclusions just yet. We all need peace of mind once in a while, as well as a "break" of this nature. Maybe he's just had lots of things going on that drained the energy from him lately, and this relationship's feeling like an extra burden to him. Of course I may be wrong though! But as you said, he gets discouraged easily.

If you have a meeting planned for sometime soon, make sure you sort things out with him during that meeting. Discuss and share your expectations regarding this relationship, and try to figure out which way it's heading. Also tell him all that bothers you, like when he stops keeping contact like this etc. Be clear with him.

I hope it all works out!

[asianbarbie0917]

Well as i said, he'll be home the 2nd week of April. I know that we'll be able to talk, but I think Im kinda scared because I dont know if he's changed any. I also am going to wanna run up and squeeze him when I first see him, but now I dont think it woud be appropiate which is ridiculous in my opinion. The last time I actually had communication with him... was about 14 days ago (but I lost my phone for 8 of the days and just got it back recently). I really dont know what I can do while I wait for him to be home, just dont call or text? Tht would be so hard for me.

[wondergirl]

Yeah I know how you're feeling, girl! I know how hard it can be. Maybe you could just text him once more, to tell him that you're looking forward to his homecoming. And then leave it at that..... and then wait for him to come home. You should not be so "available" to anyone. And yeah, in my opinion you should also refrain from running up to him and squeezing him when you first see him coz, as you said, it wouldn't really fit the situation. You should also give him a bit of a cold shoulder for a while now, while remaining polite of course. I mean, he has been completely unresponsive and uncommunicative with you lately! Heaven knows what's going on in his mind! So it would be best to greet him casually and then hang out and talk etc.... depending upon how cooperative he'll appear to be.

[asianbarbie0917]

I suppose. I guess I'm just extremely nervous about what's going to happen when he comes home. I think that situation will be a make it or break it one. So I suppose I'm nervous about how I'm going to handle it and yada yada

[Mio]

Hugs girl! It must be so hard right now, and I hope I hope you can work it out!