Monthsary's,.anniversary's....forgotten?.... :'(

[JEREIANEDREI]

today is our 10th month anniversary but he don't totally remember it,,,he don't even greeted me...or even i did told him about whats the occassion today...he just ignore my message and didn't say nothing...I felt so bad,,,coz for me its a special day,.to remember special occassions of ours....but why he is like that?,,,why men sometimes are insensitive and don't care about it?...sorry im not generalizing but im so upset today....Im such a sensitive girl and such a crying baby,,thats why it affects me....

guys any piece of advice there...thanks (

[Mara]

*hugs*

Some people just don't make a big deal out of anniversaries whether they are monthly, annual, or otherwise. Some people do make a big deal out of these dates and other people only make a big deal out of some anniversaries [annual and not monthly].

My SO always says that the 28th [our anniversary] is our day. I don't really make note or mention of our monthly anniversaries though unless it gets closer to us making another year then I might say something like oh in three months we'll make 2 years, but other than that it's not too significant to either of us. It's just how we are. On our one year anniversary we didn't make a huge deal, but we did exchange gifts and went out. We'll be doing the same this year, but we don't make a big deal as some.

I guess what I'm saying is every couple and person is different. What is a huge deal to some isn't such a big deal to others.

[snow_girl]

Maybe he just doesn't place as much importance on the small anniversaries like you do. Me and my SO have never celebrated a month anniversary. We don't even acknowledge it. I think that to some couples its neat to celebrate each month but for me I think if we always celebrated each month the big ones wouldn't feel as special (1 year, 2 year etc) Have you celebrated every other month? If this is the first time you've done it I can understand how he wouldn't think anything of the day.

[kiara_silver]

I agree what they said, me and my SO don't celebrate the monthly anniversaries, everyday is special but we don't make a huge deal over it. We only celebrate our yearly anniversaries. Every couples different and have there own opinions. Try not to take it to hard, maybe just let him have his space and when he has time and you two talk, let him know how you feel.

[JEREIANEDREI]

thanks guys...
but for me it is important,,im such a very emotional person...but maybe my SO is not fun of monthsary's..we'll I might as well accept it...Im done crying..I did cry and im feeling a way lil better now... :'(

[LadyMarchHare]

As mentioned there are people who don't place a lot of value on montheversaries or even yearly anniversaries. Some people don't even remember the "important date", I know I would never have if I didn't keep an archive of our IM conversations that has date and timestamps on them.

Me personally all I ever do is say "Happy [number of months]" but I've only done it for our 6 month and 1st year, I don't do it every month nor do I plan to because to me it's not something that needs heavy addressing. It's nice to know the date and it's nice when they say it back, but there's only so much novelty in the concept anyway. I'm sorry he hasn't replied to you about it, I think the least he could have done was acknowledge it even if his reply wasn't exactly anything you wanted to hear in turn, but some people won't respond if they have nothing to say or they don't care.

[redbellepepper]

*tight hugs*

monthsary is not included in my SO's love dictionary. i used to be feeling sad and frustrated whenever our specific date passes without any hint from him that it's our date. but a change of thought pattern helped me to get through my monthly frustration. i often remind myself that without him, i wouldn't be celebrating any kind of anniversaries at all! so instead of waiting for him to greet me or do something special to surprise me, i initiate love talks. when i say love talks, i appreciate him for everything that he is to me. i appreciate all the things that he has done and is doing to make our relationship work. without inhibitions, i will pour out my deep feelings for him. of course he will ask what's the reason behind the love talks----i would just say that I AM celebrating the day when love has finally found me. he liked it and he still likes it, and that also helped him remember our date. so when the ANNIVERSARY came---the date we turned 1 year---he surprised me in a way that i could never have imagined.

you can try a reverse approach or be the initiator. it worked with me, it might also work with you. there is no harm in trying! and when you decide to try it, update me too.

cheer up girl!

[13000km]

There was a thread similar to this recently. I agree with the responses so far. Everybody has different expectations from monthaversaries and anniversaries. My boyfriend and I acknowledge our monthly anniversaries if we remember them, but we don't celebrate them. We did celebrate our first year anniversary though. Well, he surprised me by bringing me horseback riding, which was very sweet and very unexpected.

Of course, ideally, a couple would have the same expectations of them. But we don't live in an ideal world, so if he doesn't find monthly anniversaries a big deal, I don't think you can force him into having an all-out celebration for you all of a sudden. You can, however, (without accusing him of being insensitive) bring up how YOU think these occasions are important, and maybe plan something together with him for your first year anniversary.

[ClipitsWings]

hey, no worries, at least you have a date to look forward to when your 1 year hits, right? a lot of people don't pay any mind to the months between, and always remember that long distance messaging can be fickle as far as showing people off/online when they're not, or other silly things, plus we never really know what's going on on the other side.

[JEREIANEDREI]

As mentioned there are people who don't place a lot of value on montheversaries or even yearly anniversaries. Some people don't even remember the "important date", I know I would never have if I didn't keep an archive of our IM conversations that has date and timestamps on them.

Me personally all I ever do is say "Happy [number of months]" but I've only done it for our 6 month and 1st year, I don't do it every month nor do I plan to because to me it's not something that needs heavy addressing. It's nice to know the date and it's nice when they say it back, but there's only so much novelty in the concept anyway. I'm sorry he hasn't replied to you about it, I think the least he could have done was acknowledge it even if his reply wasn't exactly anything you wanted to hear in turn, but some people won't respond if they have nothing to say or they don't care.

thanks LMH,..we'l he just replied like "I'm waiting for our year anniversary"...thats the only reply he said...but then thats him,,I have to accept it,,,maybe he is not fun of monthsary's

[JEREIANEDREI]

*tight hugs*

monthsary is not included in my SO's love dictionary. i used to be feeling sad and frustrated whenever our specific date passes without any hint from him that it's our date. but a change of thought pattern helped me to get through my monthly frustration. i often remind myself that without him, i wouldn't be celebrating any kind of anniversaries at all! so instead of waiting for him to greet me or do something special to surprise me, i initiate love talks. when i say love talks, i appreciate him for everything that he is to me. i appreciate all the things that he has done and is doing to make our relationship work. without inhibitions, i will pour out my deep feelings for him. of course he will ask what's the reason behind the love talks----i would just say that I AM celebrating the day when love has finally found me. he liked it and he still likes it, and that also helped him remember our date. so when the ANNIVERSARY came---the date we turned 1 year---he surprised me in a way that i could never have imagined.

you can try a reverse approach or be the initiator. it worked with me, it might also work with you. there is no harm in trying! and when you decide to try it, update me too.

cheer up girl!

thanks redbellpepper...you boost mt confident...we'll i just keep on sending him cards every month...just to remind him of our monthly dates,,,but its ok,,,if he dont appreciate the mothly thing,,well its up to him....I love my man a lot,,and I will love him no matter what

[JEREIANEDREI]

There was a thread similar to this recently. I agree with the responses so far. Everybody has different expectations from monthaversaries and anniversaries. My boyfriend and I acknowledge our monthly anniversaries if we remember them, but we don't celebrate them. We did celebrate our first year anniversary though. Well, he surprised me by bringing me horseback riding, which was very sweet and very unexpected.

Of course, ideally, a couple would have the same expectations of them. But we don't live in an ideal world, so if he doesn't find monthly anniversaries a big deal, I don't think you can force him into having an all-out celebration for you all of a sudden. You can, however, (without accusing him of being insensitive) bring up how YOU think these occasions are important, and maybe plan something together with him for your first year anniversary.

yah,,maybe I'm planning something special for our anniversary since were miles away,,i need to do something special...thanks 1300km

[JEREIANEDREI]

thanks too cliptwings...

[redbellepepper]

thanks redbellpepper...you boost mt confident...we'll i just keep on sending him cards every month...just to remind him of our monthly dates,,,but its ok,,,if he dont appreciate the mothly thing,,well its up to him....I love my man a lot,,and I will love him no matter what

no problemo! whenever you feel sad, you can shoot me a line!

enjoy being in love!

[Micah]

We don't celebrate monthly anniversaries, but we acknowledge them in conversation if we happen to notice the date. I think it's quite normal for people not to put an emphasis on monthly anniversaries, but if it is special to you personally, then you shouldn't feel bad for wanting to send a card or something. You may think that your boyfriend doesn't appreciate it, but who wouldn't appreciate a card? I bet he would notice if you stopped acknowledging those days, so I am sure he pays a bit of attention, even if he doesn't participate in celebrating the monthly anniversaries. Happy 10 months!