So i will be going on a 5 day mini vaca with my family and my LDR BF has been invited and since theres 2 beds in each hotel room he had to get his own room and there will be and extra bed in his room while me or my sister will be sleeping on a air mattress. I am soon to be 20yrs old and i asked my parents that i can just sleep in the room with him and leave the adjoining door open and they said no absolutely not. I do not understand y they will not allow me to sleep in a different bed in the room with him so someone doesnt have to sleep on a air mattress. This will be the first time they meet my BF so that may have something to do with it but they know that i have also met him for a vaca in Feb and we slept in the same room, my mom knows that i slept in the same bed as him but my dad does not so idk why i can sleep in the same room as him because i would not sleep in the bed with him knowing my parents wouldnt approve and that they were in the next room. IDK if its a trust issue or if its them just being difficult any advice on asking them why i cant sleep in the same room as my BF who i have been with for almost a year?
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If your are going on vacation with your parents its their rules. It sucks but thats just how it is growing up. -
I think if you are on vacation with your parents, you just need to respect their wishes. If you were staying at their home, you would still need to respect the separate room thing. Some people are just conservative like that. It's not fun, I know, but at least your boyfriend still gets to join you on vacation.
Once my SO and I stayed at a mutual friend's parent's house. They were super religious, and had a rule that if people aren't married they could not sleep together or share a room. We slept in separate rooms out of respect for them. I am 29, and they aren't even my parents... sometimes it just is a respect thing more than anything else.
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i totally get that but they also dont want me to go into his room and just talk lights on we on 2 different beds ot chairs whatever or just semi cuddle and watch a movie in his room idk what they think ima do with my parents and 8yr old nephew in the next room where u can b seen @ all times and ne way if they ask me not to i wont do it so i just want a lil trust and by the way im paying for the room he's staying in so i have to sleep on a air mattress while theres a extra bed in the room I'm paying for.Comment
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If you want a straight and honest answer I would calmly pull your mom aside when your father is not around and ask her. From the sounds of it, your mom is probably a lot more comfortable with it than your father would be or else he would know that you've already slept in the same bed/room with him before. I don't think its so much of a trust thing as just a general parenting thing. Old fashioned values and all that jazz. Remember, you are, and always will be, you're parents little girl first and foremost.. and it can be uncomfortable i'm sure knowing good and well you're sleeping with the boyfriend whom they have just met for the first time in the room next door.
But yeah, just ask her, but don't come across like you are questioning her authority. That will get you no where REAL fast.Comment
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and i have tremendous respect for my parents and its also the thing if your not married your not sleeping in the same bed but its like a 2 bedroom condo thing with adjoining doors which you can see in and out of. I know where there coming from its just its just really strict and kinda alot for someone whose just meeting my family to take in
Its suffocating @ times and BF isnt ust to parental supervision @ all his parents dont really care as long as he's safe and even then as long as he has the money they dont care what he does
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Welp, being a guy myself I can speak on this one.. My parents are the exact same way, as long as I was safe and wasn't in harms way or harming anything, they really could care less.. very relaxed parenting.. and as sexist as this might sound and i'm sure i'll offend at least one person in saying this.. a lot of people (especially old fashioned parents) believe that it is a lot different for boys than it is for girls out in the world.. for example, my parents would have no problem with me going off and meeting someone long distance, however no way in hell would they let my younger sister.. it's just how it is to some people.. so hopefully he can understand that, and he'll deal with itOriginally posted by knhdarw View Post
remember, the important thing is that you guys get to see each other at all! Thats awesome!
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my parents would have made no difference they still try and have a say in what my 30yr old sister does and if they do not like the situation or decision shes making they will let her know even though she lives in her own house pays her own bills and doesnt rely on them for anything so no my parents are hardwired to just idk what the right word is here difficult maybe but i dont think thats it i think they like to be in control @ all times and if u do you own thing and they dont like it they will lecture and in some cases make u feel lower then low because you wanna do something.Comment
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Well, maybe you could mention that to them? Let them know that is how you feel.. I mean, if they are that overbearing at times, I can only imagine thats tough to handle constantly..Comment
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Unfortunately if your parents are taking you on the vacation and paying for it, it's their rules, and you must follow and respect them.
I'd be able to give you more advice, but I'm having a really hard time understanding what you're saying.Comment
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*sighs* Why is it all of a sudden the biggest issue on this forum is "my parents aren't being fair I'm an adult/older teenager"?
I really don't know how many times the words "you have to play by their rules" can be said, but that's basically it. Until you move out, can pay for everything you need and want on your own without asking for their help, and can afford visits or the expense of one of you moving to end the distance, it's their way or the highway. Sure you can try to talk with them but it's not a surefire way to get them to trust you explicitly and let you run amuck. Like theyellowdart said, no matter how old you are, you are their baby and always will be. Some parents take it to the extreme to where it's hard to justify some of their actions, but I can't say anything you've said sounds entirely unreasonable to me. It's how they want things.Comment
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Holy doody, someone agree'd with me on something..
*goes to celebate*
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im going on vactaion with my parents was going to drive my own car pay for the gas but they said they wont allow it... My BF is going I'm paying for his hotel room cause he paid for the flight and im not aloud to stay in the room with him they said im not even aloud to go and chill in his room even though the rooms have adjoining doors and the door would never be shut. (I'm also 20, and a soon to be medical student).Comment
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I don't really see what you being a medical student has to do with this, but okay.Originally posted by knhdarw View Post
They are still paying for the entire vacation, and you agreed to go. If you don't like their rules, don't go. It's that simple, deary.Comment
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Doesn't matter what you paid for, you didn't pay for the entire thing, chances are the vacation wasn't your idea, and from the sounds of your first post it was your parents' idea to invite your SO. In short: still their rules. And you don't have to keep mentioning your age, it's right under your location on your posts and frankly it doesn't matter how old you are, physical age doesn't always match up with maturity. You could be 35 and if you were acting the way you are about this ordeal here I could personally see reason to your parents still give you rules and restrictions.Comment
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