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FINALLY!! First time meeting 2 year wait but.....have an issue

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    #1

    FINALLY!! First time meeting 2 year wait but.....have an issue

    Alright so....... x.x i need some advice i dont know if anyone had this trouble before but.....My bf is coming to see me for the first time our 2 year relationship finally meeting (yays ^__^). Anyway you know when not seeing your SO ever and you want to sleep side by side in bed with them? Well.... thats the issue ._. my mom is traditional and she doesn't want us AT ALL sleeping side by side together, i even told her id leave the door open for her to see we arnt doing anything and i guess she has the principals of

    Us not sleeping side by side in her house WITHOUT being married .-. . . . its a big dilemma me and my bf are facing trying to convince her......has anyone been through this or know what i should do to convince her ._. our next meeting wont be until a year or so so ;_; we really need this badly....

    Thanks so much!!!!!
    Tags: first meeting
    #2
    Originally posted by Gemini View Post
    Alright so....... x.x i need some advice i dont know if anyone had this trouble before but.....My bf is coming to see me for the first time our 2 year relationship finally meeting (yays ^__^). Anyway you know when not seeing your SO ever and you want to sleep side by side in bed with them? Well.... thats the issue ._. my mom is traditional and she doesn't want us AT ALL sleeping side by side together, i even told her id leave the door open for her to see we arnt doing anything and i guess she has the principals of

    Us not sleeping side by side in her house WITHOUT being married .-. . . . its a big dilemma me and my bf are facing trying to convince her......has anyone been through this or know what i should do to convince her ._. our next meeting wont be until a year or so so ;_; we really need this badly....

    Thanks so much!!!!!
    It would help to know how old you are. If you are too young to legally do the naughty then your mum probably has a point. But, you could be like 20 in which case that is ridiculous, you are old enough to make your own decision. Oh and would help to know how old your bf is too, i guess!


    Your absence has not taught me how to be alone, it merely has shown that when together we cast a single shadow on the wall. ~ Doug Fetherling

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      #3
      I am 23 and will be 24 when we meet~! And he is 20 and will be 21 when we meet so yes we are old enough to do those things XD

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        #4
        Originally posted by holdinghands View Post
        It would help to know how old you are. If you are too young to legally do the naughty then your mum probably has a point. But, you could be like 20 in which case that is ridiculous, you are old enough to make your own decision. Oh and would help to know how old your bf is too, i guess!
        that.
        and if you are a virgin or not, and if nit, if your mom knows about it. that all may impact the way she is reacting (or over reacting-or not).
        our story.

        sigpic

        02.02.2012 - When we got married and closed the distance once and for all‎

        "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."

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          #5
          Originally posted by Gemini View Post
          I am 23 and will be 24 when we meet~! And he is 20 and will be 21 when we meet so yes we are old enough to do those things XD
          so, i guess you are old enough to make your own decision, but there is the whole under her roff thing. some parents just domt accept that.
          our story.

          sigpic

          02.02.2012 - When we got married and closed the distance once and for all‎

          "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."

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            #6
            Congrats on your first meeting! Unfortunately, if you live in her house, you live under her rules, plain and simple. You could use this time to try to calmly talk to her about it, but ultimately, it's her decision. Have you thought about splurging on a hotel room for a few nights? Its worth the money, if it'll mean getting to sleep with him.
            Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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              #7
              OK..just so you know, most parents are all alike and it doesn't matter HOW old you are...when under their roof, you are a child and rules abide... lol.

              For example: My sister is 32yrs old and visiting my parents this weekend with her new beau who is 45 yrs old and you know what??? She asked to stay at my parent's and my dad said: "NO WAY!" Reason: because they aren't married and he doesn't like it. So my mom has been going crazy calling me everyday about it and her solution is, my sister can sleep in one bedroom and her beau in another. So yeah, rules abide by the owner and in this case, its the parents! And yeah, my sister is pissed off and I can't wait till this weekend is over!!!! I hope we make it without drama..don't see it happening...

              However, both of you are of age and I agree with moon, why not a hotel where you both can have time together,alone? I mean, meeting for the first time is stressful enough and I think a place where you both can feel comfortable to talk would be nice, but only if you feel comfortable. If you don't and need your family around, its understandable too and if your SO is comfortable with the situation (I assume he knows the situation), then it shouldn't be an issue. Its about you two meeting for the first time So you guys probably will find a way to work around it all..

              Best of luck and enjoy yourselves!!

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                #8
                Originally posted by Gemini View Post
                I am 23 and will be 24 when we meet~! And he is 20 and will be 21 when we meet so yes we are old enough to do those things XD
                Ah, thanks for clarifying :P Iagree with the other posters. And as Moon said, why not book a hotel? When I go to see Tom (who is 25 by the way) we will both be staying in a hotel near where he lives (he lives with his parents). If she asks why just say that you think your SO would be more comfortable in a hotel, like he gets scared when he's alone in a foreign country or something. Good Luck though!


                Your absence has not taught me how to be alone, it merely has shown that when together we cast a single shadow on the wall. ~ Doug Fetherling

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by Moon View Post
                  Congrats on your first meeting! Unfortunately, if you live in her house, you live under her rules, plain and simple. You could use this time to try to calmly talk to her about it, but ultimately, it's her decision. Have you thought about splurging on a hotel room for a few nights? Its worth the money, if it'll mean getting to sleep with him.
                  Seconding this. I know it's not the greatest set up but you have to respect the rules and if mom says no sharing a bed, you don't. However with a hotel you don't really have to abide by the same rules, but I suppose that possibility depends on A) if you have to ask permission first, and B) if your mom's going to retaliate in any way if you do get a hotel for a couple nights. I remember when I was booking a hotel room for my trip I went with the 2 bed option to appease my mom even though she had given me "the talk" and hadn't restricted me on those particulars. Every parent is different, though.

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                    #10
                    lol i feel for you, i'll be meeting for the first time in 2 years and at one point we plan to sleep in the same bed. My parents would kill me if they knew. My mom doesn't even want me alone in the same town as him. But i won't be staying at there house, and im not living with them. So a bit different in your situation. I kind of agree with Alexandria Lora. When under there roof, you kind of have to follow there rules. You can continue talking to her about it, try to shine some light on your side but in the end its her way. Like some have suggested getting a hotel. How long is your SO visiting? Cause maybe you can do a split thing, abide by your mothers rules and sleep seperate but the night before he leaves get a hotel and share the night?
                    I love you Nathan <3
                    sigpic
                    5/25/09 <3

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                      #11
                      I'm going to go with everyone else and say, her house, her rules.

                      With my SO, we don't have sex (he doesn't believe in sex before marriage), but he sleeps over at my house sometimes (I live on my own). He was in his own apartment for years, but lived with his parents again for about two months before going into the air force, because he obviously had to get rid of his apartment. I was invited to stay over there a few time, and was allowed to sleep in his bed with him, but his parents insisted that we keep the door open. We're both 24, but the age doesn't matter. We have to respect their rules in their house.

                      With my ex, when he would visit he would stay with me at my mom's house (I still lived with her then). Although I was 23 and he was 27, we slept in separate rooms. This was particularly funny because my mom knows that I haven't been a virgin since high school and is completely fine with that, and even left us in the house alone a few times so that we could have sex (more awkward then it sounds, believe me), but she was skeeved out by the thought if us doing it while she was in the house. haha. i love my mom.
                      Why do you wait for me?
                      How do you wait for me?
                      I'm lost and alone without you here in my arms.
                      I'm lost and alone without you here by my side.
                      Here's a song for you, lovely
                      Remember that it's for you only, for you only.
                      My heart is caught in a landslide
                      And it beats for you only, for you only.
                      -"My Lovely" by Eisley

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                        #12
                        I haven't read all the replies, but to go along with your mom and still get that "sleeping together" feel can you guys take naps together? You could fall asleep on the couch together while watching a movie, or play a board game in your room and "accidentally" fall asleep on the bed (with the door open for your mom's assurance). It won't be exactly the same, but it's better than nothing.

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                          #13
                          Congratulations!
                          Unfortunately, if you're staying in your mothers house, at the end of the day you have to respect her wishes.
                          If she doesn't allow you to sleep side by side at night, you can always have naps together during the day, watch movies together in bed or cuddle up on a sofa before bed?

                          I do hope you get to sleep together, though.
                          I can only imagine how lovely it would be.

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                            #14
                            Getting a hotel is probably your best option. Especially since you're both adults dont you want a little privacy whether you do anything or not? I know my parents wouldn't give us any peace if we stayed in my house.

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