Arguments with your SOs

[Zandria]

Who contacts who first? Do you contact your SO first or vice versa? And how long is the wait if either of you guys do contact each other?

[meg]

Depends on the argument. But if it's him who's flown off the handle (it normally is) or something he's done (it normally is) then I won't contact him until he appologises. Mostly because I'm trying to calm down. Sometimes this can take till the next day, or even just a few minutes later. But I always appologise aswell, because chances are I haven't helped the situation.

[DemonxOisin]

Maybe it's just us, but when we argue about something, we don't stop talking... We broke up for about a week once, and we didn't stop talking the whole time, just trying to get our individual points across.

[Trethsparr]

Who contacts who first? Do you contact your SO first or vice versa? And how long is the wait if either of you guys do contact each other?

As Meg said, it can vary a lot, depending on how the argument got started and how it unfolded. Generally, I try to deal with an argument or misunderstanding as soon as possible. Sometimes it's not a good idea to try to deal with one too quickly if we're both still feeling pretty heated about it, so I try to do my part not to escalate bad feelings further and wait until I'm calm enough to see my part in the argument (because we both have one, just the size varies from disagreement to disagreement). Regardless, I try not to let the dust settle when I know I have something I need to apologize about.

[Zandria]

Depends on the argument. But if it's him who's flown off the handle (it normally is) or something he's done (it normally is) then I won't contact him until he appologises. Mostly because I'm trying to calm down. Sometimes this can take till the next day, or even just a few minutes later. But I always appologise aswell, because chances are I haven't helped the situation.

So if it was my fault, would you say I should contact him first, or let him have time to cool off (the argument was last night) a little while longer? Plus if I already apologized, well, more like me just saying sorry with no reason why a whole bunch of times, (I was frustrated), what should I do?

[Zandria]

As Meg said, it can vary a lot, depending on how the argument got started and how it unfolded. Generally, I try to deal with an argument or misunderstanding as soon as possible. Sometimes it's not a good idea to try to deal with one too quickly if we're both still feeling pretty heated about it, so I try to do my part not to escalate bad feelings further and wait until I'm calm enough to see my part in the argument (because we both have one, just the size varies from disagreement to disagreement). Regardless, I try not to let the dust settle when I know I have something I need to apologize about.

It was definitely my fault, lol, I think I got on his nerves about worrying too much about the little nothings. I wanted to resolve it before we went to bed last night, but he didn't answer my phone call, so I'm sure he was really pissed off at me. I did tell him he could text me when he's ready to talk, but I have no idea when that will be, and I'm slightly impatient. The argument was last night, so I don't know if he's had enough time to cool off, that I'll know he'll answer my text if I do text him.

[Moon]

Definitely contact him first, why should he text you when it was your fault? I can't tell you when, since you know him and I don't, but you should at least send a sincere apology and ask him if it's ok to talk tomorrow (or tonight, or whatever). Then call him, as making up over text kinda sucks. Good luck!

[Trethsparr]

It was definitely my fault, lol, I think I got on his nerves about worrying too much about the little nothings. I wanted to resolve it before we went to bed last night, but he didn't answer my phone call, so I'm sure he was really pissed off at me. I did tell him he could text me when he's ready to talk, but I have no idea when that will be, and I'm slightly impatient. The argument was last night, so I don't know if he's had enough time to cool off, that I'll know he'll answer my text if I do text him.

I can understand wanting to wait until he specifically tells you that he's open to talking. If you don't hear from him in another day or so, you could try sending out a short apologetic text to see if he's cooled down enough to discuss the situation. With guys, it can be hard sometimes to know what they're thinking about the situation or whether or not they even have other things on their minds keeping them from talking about disagreements. As well, he might have his guard up a little still and letting him know that you're sorry and would like to discuss it further could help him feel more comfortable with talking about it again.

Either way, even if he shows he's not quite ready to talk yet, at least you've shown him you're sorry and willing to talk about what happened when he is. Then it will be up to him to respond, and you can know you did what you could to convey your apologies. I know waiting's tough, though, so I don't blame you for wanting to talk to him sooner rather than later.

[Trethsparr]

Then call him, as making up over text kinda sucks. Good luck!

Agreed!

[BlueCat]

Usually if we've argued, it's on skype, I tend to go pretty quiet in those situations. And after we've blown off steam I feel horrible and we both usually end up apologising in the same conversation and we feel a little closer after having been able to make up. We usually don't have arguments where we don't contact each other, once a long time ago we had argued and I didn't answer his call and he sent so many messages to my phone that I felt so horrible. I think that's the only time I've not answered the phone when he's been calling me.

[Caitlin2009]

Maybe it's just us, but when we argue about something, we don't stop talking... We broke up for about a week once, and we didn't stop talking the whole time, just trying to get our individual points across.

we dont stop talking either, we have a rule we dont hang up, go offline, or walk away angry while having an argument, always leave the convo on a good note before one of you hangs up because its not healthy to just hang up when your angry you need to talk it out

[hxcbreakdance]

If we ever do argue we usually resolve it right after instead of hanging up on each other because we hate being mad at each other and we usually argue about silly stuff anyway. I think there may have been one time where we hung up and then I contacted him first. I think I would probably be the first one to break if that happened between us a lot.

[13000km]

Well I'm the only one who ever storms off. He'll be there whenever I want to come back. Sometimes he'll wait and sometimes he'll contact me first. And me...even when I try to stay mad at him, I always end up contacting him first or responding to him even when I promise myself I wouldn't. I honestly don't know what I would do if he didn't want to talk to me. But he's great at talking things out and getting to the root of the problem, so it works for us.

[NaNi]

It depends. Sometimes my SO contacts me first and sometimes I contact her first. It can take minutes or even hours. Never days though. I don't think either of us wants to keep an argument going for that long.

[emforever]

Just make sure he is ready to talk. When my boyfriend and i have fights we always ask each other if the other one is ready to talk yet.