Things that make your LDR more complicated....

[LostInLove]

Issues? Sure, there's plenty.

1) My mom is not very supportive of our relationship. In fact, she spends a lot of time trying to convince me how hard it's going to be, how I don't know him well enough to be in this kind of relationship, how she thinks we should be keeping our options open. Over time she's done less and less of this, but now she's supplementing all of that with talking about how he should move here (as if I have much of a choice on that one).

2) There is no easy answer. Aside from the moving away from our friends and family stuff, he has a steady job that he loves and would likely have to give up to move to be with me, and I struggle with the idea of moving to where he is because there's not a lot of job opportunities for me.

3) I should most likely be starting a masters in September 2012, and if I do our ability to see each other is seriously going to plummet. Most of our visits will probably end up being him coming out here for business trips, which means I'll be busy doing school stuff and he'll be busy doing work stuff and our time together will be limited.

I think we can make it work! Maybe. First step is getting him to talk about it, which is a struggle all on it's own.

[J9PhD]

He's Jewish, I'm raised Catholic. But I'm not super religious so that's not a problem...and my family's okay with it. But that's the biggest "issue" I can think of...besides his moving 1400 miles away from me in three weeks.

[lademoiselle]

All the added complications are on my side: my parents, my living situation, my career prospects (or lack of them...) I won't elaborate. Dwelling on these extra considerations depresses me too much for words!

[BabyDimples]

My family is the only thing causing us problems other than the distance, I think. Limiting my internet time, not being supportive, saying they don't agree with it and that they're sure its just a faze that I'm going through and that I'm infactuated, not even trying to listen or to understand, just because they don't agree with LDRs...

[kittyo9]

My overprotective mother is a fair obstacle for us. The US embassy is another, considering they have denied his request for a visa twice now. I think those count as the biggest complications in our LDR. There's also money. I come from a stingy family and my boyfriend is flat out poor.

You would think that both of our dads having passed away during our teen years would have been an obstacle as well, especially considering we are both still facing the repercussions (financially and emotionally), but I think that it has actually brought us closer.

[marbear31]

Haha, I've pretty much been told from the start that this wouldn't work...I met my SO when I was studying abroad in Ireland, and my best friend there said, "You do know he's going to break your heart, right?" and I said I didn't care. :P I don't think my family realized the seriousness of the situation until I came home, and the first thing I had to do was email him to let him know I'd arrived safely. He's also 10 years older than me, not religious at all, while I definitely am religious, he has a son (who is THE most adorable boy in the world--he looks like a little Harry Potter, people!!), I'm finishing university and working two jobs while I'm at it, and there's a 6 hour time difference. You'd think that'd be enough, right? Well, we're just taking it day by day (the little things that is), but we are both absolutely sure we want to spend the rest of our lives together, so it's worth any heartache.

[Haley53]

Other than the distance, I would say it's the fact that his mother passed away unexpectedly this past October (he was 18 at the time) and he is now out on his own and also the guardian of his 15-year-old brother. The entire situation not only tested our relationship, but it really threw a wrench in the works as far as our plans to close the distance, but we're making it work as best as we can.

[Yaaamiii]

Besides the distance, not much. But once I finish college (2 semesters left after this one is up), then I would love to be able to move to where he's going to college. We both started college at the same time but his degree will take him longer. So he'll still be in school when I've graduated. I would love to be able to close the distance by getting a job in his current city, and maybe even try for a masters degree at his university, but only time will tell. There aren't very many job opportunities for teachers.

[lala]

1) my dad
2) have to finish study
3) money
4) permanent residence
5) he has to finish his studies

[Andrea1978]

The only thing that really makes it complicated is the distance and his job sometimes. I don't understand his job because he can't discuss most of it so when he is stressed I dont know how to comfort him. I really just don't know.

Other than those two things it's a great relationship. He communicates very well and is always telling me how he feels and what he wants. I am quite happy.

[princessmeg1328]

Where do I start? Both of my parents are supportive of our relationship. It's great having the support. Only now, they are both going through their own personal crises. My dad's is so bad that I can't even talk about it. My mom feels like she doesn't have anybody else (my parents are divorced) besides me to help her through the emotional turmoil she's going through right now. I am very upset with his parents because they are the reason that we're not married right now. On top of all this, there's a nine year age difference between us. Also, he lives in the UK while I'm in the US. I don't have a job right now so I can't go visit him unless he pays for my ticket. I don't want him to feel that he has to do that. I'm also trying to plan a wedding when we don't even know where we're going to have it yet because there's so much going on. There's a lot of emotion going on at my house right now. Yet despite everything, we're still together and going strong.

[Moon]

Besides the usual things that can complicate international LDR's, I have a daughter I'm not too keen on moving 4200 miles away from. Yeah, she's an adult and everything, but she's my kid and I love her, I can't imagine not being able to see her when I want and even though she swears she's never having children, what if she does? I do not want to be an absentee grandparent I'm pretty sure it would have to be me doing the moving, my boyfriend has an elderly mother who is alone, and he's an only child. Also, I don't think he'd ever be happy here, he's not the adventurous type and is surrounded by the friends he's had since grade school. I have no problem relocating to a new country (other than the daughter issue!), and do really well with change and new situations.

This is the only part of our relationship that weighs heavily on me.

[Malaga]

We're blessed in the way that we both have support from friends and family, we're both fairly independent (having our own incomes and places to live) and the distance isn't that big so we get to see each other relatively often. The only real problem is we're in different countries and closing the distance is going to be very complicated from a legal point of view.

[smoggert]

~~~

[Tooki]

Our families are fairly supportive of the relationship. Some problems are that:

*She is an EU citizen and I'm not. We will need to marry for me to move there and she will not be able to Australia until I finish university and work full-time.
*As she isn't Australian, it is far too expensive for her to study in Australia.
*We both study, so visiting is tricky. We can stay with each other on visits but money is very very tight.