Things that make your LDR more complicated....

[emforever]

In my relationship, there is an age difference of 6.5 years. This was a huge complication when we first started dating because I was still in high school and he was a junior in college. Another complication we have had is the fact that I am unable to have children. I waited a while to tell him and when I did, he got very upset and this lead to a break-up for a bit. We have worked through this, but it still somewhat a flag for our future (though he now says adoption is ok with him).

What other complications do people have? I can imagine one or more partners being in the military could definitely be a huge complication. Or different religions/ethnicities being an issue. Would love to hear other's takes!

[MissButterfly]

Well, my SO lives in the USA. His mother is an alcoholic and has seisures regularly. His father has aphasia. His family lives quite far away and since he's a guy, he finds it hard to talk about it. But in the meantime it really bothers and scares him. He doesn't know what will happen if he comes here this summer, and certainly when he moves here next year. I can't do much, only be there for him and listen. I only wish he had someone professional to talk to in the USA, because an 18 year old boy shoudn't deal with stuff like this on his own... It's difficult for him, but for me too. I don't know how to help him.

[emforever]

That's terrible! I understand where you are coming from with wishing he had professional help. My SO has had lots of things in his life such as his father being abusive while growing up and one of his best friends dying young (my bf does NOT deal with death well at all) that I wish he would talk about. Alas, he refuses to go to a counselor and I am not going to press the issue too much.

[kiara_silver]

My family causes a problem, they don't trust him and give me difficulty, they don't want me to ever move away, they don't want me alone with him, ive even been told that they wish we'd break up. So its such a pain but we get through it.
and then there the distance of course, him in the U.K and me in the U.S. So this will cause some difficulty in the future, on far as where to move to, who leaves who's family and so on.
We also see differently in beliefs, im a christian and he has no faith, so far this hasn't been a problem but it may come up in the future.
over all he's so great and good to me, so problem or not we make it.

So i guess compared to some we don't have that many issues and problems, but still, there are obstacles. But we hold on and never give up

[Mara]

There is only a three year difference in age between my SO and I, but it's kinda a big deal because at times I feel we are in totally different stages of life. I'm sure once we get in our late 20's though it won't be such an issue. Another thing, really the reason we are long distance, is because we are both still in college. He took two years off from his undergrad and I've taken a year off and changed my major numerous times so we both should be finished with our degrees, but we aren't and this keeps us apart. Visits are also rough on us because he doesn't have reliable transportation and we are both struggling college students.

[Phimini]

For me, it's his living situation.

Although Corey is still relatively young, he owns his own house and rents part of it to a friend of his, her husband, and their young son. Although she and her husband are good people, I can't help but get angry with her because, even though she knows the house is small and her funds are tight, she's having another child. This makes his position awkward because he wants to be a good person and let them stay, but at the same time it will be difficult for them once the baby is born.

He's living in Thailand right now, and the plan was to stay for a year but that time may be cut short--very short--since he's been getting sick every day. If he goes home, his roomie may not be so happy with that with the baby on the way when he was supposed to be gone for a year. Not that she has any right to, considering she's the tenant and he's the landlord...

I want to move in with him when I can, and this whole thing with his roomie bothers me greatly. Corey wants to move out and buy a new house when he pays off his current one but it will be a while before that can happen. And if I were to move in with him, with the roomie and her family there as well? Lord only knows how that'd go... I wanna be with him so badly but it's so complicated right now.

[Sunbeam]

Well, first, there's a 9 year age difference between my significant other and I (I'm 21, he's 30). My family really hates the age difference.
Also, my S.O. and I both have chronic depression, which makes the distance that much harder on us.
And we both have minimal family support in this relationship, our friends are supportive, just not our families.

[emforever]

Too bad distance isn't the only hard thing about LDRs

[Sora1101]

I am 5 years younger than my SO, and still in high school while he is in college, now because of this age gap, mainly me being so young, neither of us are able to tell our parents about it, which means its close to impossible to meet, and we always have to sneak around which really sucks.

[blankita719]

My SO and I have a 9 year age difference, but with us that was only a problem the first time we were in a LDR when I was 18 and he was 27. Now that doesn't matter so much.

Our problem is that I bought a house here last year before we got back together and due to mortgage terms, I can't sell my house for a few years. And I don't want to be a long distance landlord. His son is 16 and he does not want to make his son move when he is only a few years from graduating (just finishing 10th grade), which I understand. Really, my house is the biggest thing that is holding me back from up and moving - although I worry about finding a job and being able to support myself and my son because I won't go up there and depend on him to take care of us. I have a career here and I've been with my current employer for 7 and a half years so leaving that behind would be difficult.

Plus I'm very close to my family - I live literally 2 minutes away from my mother, 5 minutes from grandparents and 8 minutes from my sister. And they would all try to kill me if I took my son away He is not close to anyone in his family except for his son and sometimes doesn't understand the emotional ties I have with wanting to stay here, but he refuses to move here.

[ClipitsWings]

No age problems, he's just a year older than me. Probably the hardest part of this, is the lack of substance. I mean, I love him, he loves me, but we aren't anything, and neither of us has the guts to call it a relationship if we've never met. But in that is the fact that there is absolutely nothing stopping him from getting a real, physically there genderfriend. Nothing I can do about it, and I wont say a thing. I just feel like this is too fragile to mess it up with rules that've never really been set. Oh well. :/ it's stupid.

[FadedSunrise]

He's five years older than me, but that is not so much an issue to me as to my parents who see it as making him un-datable due to my current age. They kept saying(in the past, when I actually cared to try to let them know), that it was like the difference between a baby and an adult. I live at home with both parents, who are traditional, old fashioned and often let me have no privacy to their taking it as an insinuation I don't love them if I don't share every detail of my life. My mother's gone through complicated work history, and we've been dealing with seizures, hospitalizations, and doctor visits since I was 14. We met when I was abroad in China, and basically saw each other daily(before feelings were confessed and all, but still) for three months. Now it will be another year without him, while I come back full force to the life of taking care of my mom, graduate school applications, and yet now being in pain at the thought of what I left behind. To that end, I essentially flunked school due to situational depression last semester(a 3.1 versus my usual 3.8), and its been really, really hard...

[flatliner]

well at the begining of our relationship i was thinking about joining the navy and my SO wanted to join the airforce. i thought more about how we would never be able to see eachother and it stressed me out for weeks. so i decided not to join and just be a paramedic. she then decided she didnt want to join either and she would wrather be a nurse. right now though her parents not allowing me to see her is the biggest issue were having.

[knhdarw]

Age isn't an issue even though shortly he''ll be 25 and ill be 20 not long after ive always liked guys a little older then me not a shock to my parents lol. But Our parents are main issue his just dont care and wanna know as little as possible about me because they say he's 25 its his life do wahtever the heck you feel like. Mine think he's not the one for me that were 2 different and that he acts to weird and nerdy(all the things i love about him ) MOney is also a tight issue seeing as im still in college thank you lord only 4 many 5 semesters to go wooo so he tends to have to make the money in order for us to see each other but he has to pay most of the bills at his parents place because due to the american economy his parents cant do it themselves and my parents also hate that because they say if he's taking care of them how can he take care of you too. so yea lots of hardships along the road i wish all of us the best us luck aznd that GOD blesses us and our relationships

[books]

There is an 11 year age difference between me and my SO. The great thing is that his family completely accepts me and has told me again and again that I have their support 100%. Most of the time I really don't see the age difference. Some of his friends come across as immature to me, but me and him understand each other perfectly. My family (mom) isn't too supportive, but not so much because of the age difference...more because of the distance and the fact that it is pretty much impossible for me to bring my SO to the US for a visit (there is a 90% denial rate for tourist visas for his country).