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Things that make your LDR more complicated....

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    #46
    grief... anxiety disorders... distance... age... school... being close distance (sort of) one year and then back to long distance again for another 3 or so... religion (well, as in he is much stricter than i am)... mum always hinting at going out with someone else... parent's dissaproval of the "s" word (ending with x)... work... grandparents... more work... more family issues...

    oh and money. but thats more about travelling... which i cant do because of work, grandparents and the anxiety disorder...

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      #47
      Always being worried that something might happen to him while he's deployed a corpsman just passed away on Valentine's day ... that sunk deep because well I hope and pray he's safe <3

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        #48
        Wow, reading through this has made me realize how fortunate I truly am. We both live in the same country and only about 5 hours away so the only real issues have come from me dealing with some depression and anxiety. I truly wish everyone the best of luck dealing with everything you have to go through

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          #49
          Our only real "complications" are our age difference, 14 years, and we are of different races. I'm black he's white, but we don't see our age difference or racial difference as "complications" others might though. The last one would have to be money issues. I'm in school and he is a single parent so our money goes to "the more important things" and saving is hard

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            #50
            Him being a rebel..
            Me being a brat..

            Him not picking up the phone..
            Me hanging up when angry..

            Money & Money

            Stress
            \\ Someday everything will all make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything //
            \\ happens for a reason //

            \\ We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing //

            \\ When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy.” //
            \\They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, I told them they didn’t understand life!! //

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              #51
              Nothing too bad. The ones I can think of off the top of my head...

              1) Being at different points/wanting different things in our lives. I'm 19, going on 20, and graduating with my bachelor's degree this Spring. I've always been on the fast track; I graduated high school (soon college) early, focused on pursuing my career early, and have always wanted to get married/settle down early (coming from a huge family, most of which got married and had kids in their early 20s, I would like that as well). My SO is going on 22, and likes to take his time so he has at least another 2 years before he graduates. On top of that, he likes to think of himself in the singular (i.e. his self-interest foremost, not me at all) so he wants to take his time, join the military, move around and explore, and then maybe settle down in his early 30s.

              As cliche as it may sound, all I have ever really wanted in life is to be the best mother and wife that I could. It's a dream of mine to get married and to start and create life with someone, experiencing more of the world with them. I don't find it a hindrance at all to "living out my young life." Obviously, my dreams don't really match up with his on that aspect which makes it really complicated to ever really plan anything out with our lives. I'm young, so I know I have time, but still.

              That, and we're both stubborn on our plans. We both want specific things that are a little hard to compromise.

              2) Conflict. He sees conflict as nothing but a bad thing and tries to avoid it as often as possible, while I think that working through the problems is beneficial in the long run.
              sigpic

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                #52
                Age difference. She's 6 years younger.

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                  #53
                  No problem with an age distance, only 2.4 years different for us. Really, what gives us most difficulties is how completely different our reactions to things are. Like, I wear all black, see no problem with wearing all black, and see no problem with getting a piercing or a tattoo even though I would never get one myself. My SO however, HATES the way people who wear all black look, and HATES tattoos and piercings with a burning passion of rage and fire. So, it caused a bit of a fight when my SO realized the way I dress (he's gotten over it). We also fought because I commented on a picture of my semi-friend's new tattoo saying it looked cool. He took it to mean I wanted one, which I really don't. It's usually okay though.
                  A more recent problem is I think my SO might have a bit of a depression issue. Sometimes he just refuses to talk to me because he "doesn't feel anything". Which I understand and all, but still...
                  Really, we don't have many problems. We're too lovey-dovey most of the time to let anything interrupt us, Eheh.

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                    #54
                    Hmm... there are a few things that make it harder, but they have been kind of getting better lately.

                    The first is that I am not allowed by my parents to visit him, and he can't because of his economic position. He can't work because school consumes too much time from him and he also has to help out his mother with her restaurant and do other chores. This just makes our meetings delay months, but I've learnt to deal with it fortunately :P

                    Another is that my mother does not like him much, not because she distrusts him or thinks he's not a good guy, but because of superficial stuff. For example she says I should've chosen more of a handsome guy. She also dislikes the fact that he studies arts, because she is thinking forward and says that if we ever live together, he'll be unable to help me out economically and we'll starve to death. She's also got this stereotype of artists being too moody and sentimental, which she thinks will end up in him cheating on me. She always wanted me to find an engineer boyfriend and he's kind of all the opposite :P

                    Although this is getting a little better because she knows him better now...and she casually finds in him a lot of similarity to my father. Ulysses reminds her of my father a lot, so she can't really hate him, much as she'd like to.

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                      #55
                      I am extremely fortunate with my situation with my SO. We are the same age and grew up in the same town. We've been friends for over seven years now, and our parents live ten minutes from each other (not to mention, they are great friends.) We both go to different universities, but we're in the same state, and about four hours from each other. On top of a few visits to each other during the school year, we get to see each other on our school breaks when we're back home.

                      Obviously, there are some issues. The biggest one that comes to mind right now is money, or rather, the prospect of money. We're both freshmen in college (nineteen) and jobless. Admittedly, for me, this isn't a huge issue because my parents are paying for college and don't think twice about giving me a few extra dollars here or there. My SO's parents are paying for him as well, but he was raised in a more frugal household. This conflicts with his "gentlemen-ly obligations" of paying for me when we're together. He can't wait to get a job, and he might have one lined up this summer from his dad's company, but it's still not a sure thing. Our conversations often come back to money in one way or another. I tell him that I'm fine with paying for things, and he protests, but he's always talking about saving his money and not spending on superfluous things. Needless to say, he feels a bit conflicted.

                      Other than that, we only have small, day-to-day issues, mostly me being worried about him in a fraternity. I'm very thankful that we don't have many problems. <3

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                        #56
                        Oh my goodness....AGAIN....I am so happy to have found this website!! As if LDR aren't complicated enough...there are plenty of other things in the mix to make it a little messier Here are some things that most certainly make our LDR complicated.

                        1) Age difference - I am 12 years older. Le Sigh! His family doesnt care, mine is still in a little shock. Since I am the older one, people keep "suggesting" that I don't want to be "starting over" again with someone like that. I don't feel that way, I feel like we are trying to build a life together. Just like any other couple would be doing, regardless of age. But the doubts creep in regardless.

                        2) Racial differences - I am white, and he is from a African American/White/Native America background. His skin tone is darker then mine so people obviously see a black guy with a white girl. I've noticed a few looks but thank goodness nothing more. His family long accepted that he dates only white girls, and I was accepted with open arms. But it will be an issue when he finally meets my family....oh how will it be. In fact my mother has already asked that I do not tell my father just yet. Le Sigh x 2!

                        3) Kids - He has a very young son, and I am infertile. He has no issues with us not being able to have kids together, so PHEW! But blending our LDR in with a 4 yr old....that's a very delicate and tricky situation. I will say that the first meet and greet went wonderfully!

                        Last but not least.....money. But I think that's probably an issue for most LDR couples. There is just never enough to be together as much as we want. It gets so frustrating some times and its hard not to let love put us in serious debt!!

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