Leaving or being left - which is worse?

[13000km]

I've never been left behind, but as hard as leaving was, I think it would be harder to have memories of him hidden in every corner of the house. I'm not sure I would have been able to handle that. /: When I left...I couldn't do it. At the airport I had to ask him to disappear, or I wouldn't have been able to walk away from him. So I turned around for a second and he walked into the crowd and hid in a bookstore so I couldn't see him anymore. I was in tears and got strange looks for it, but that wasn't a real concern for me at that moment.

[NaNi]

I'm not sure. Both hurt. But when you're the one leaving you have so much ahead of you, like the trip(s) back home. It doesn't really get your mind off things, at least not mine, but it's something to keep you busy. When you're the one being left behind you just stand there, alone. I hate coming back home to an empty apartment.

[Leigh]

I think it's a tie. They are both hard to do.

[Caitlin2009]

Jesus they were both pure hell and was the worst pain ive ever felt, the 2nd time felt worse then the first time, im gonna say both because both were pure hell and painful! did nothing but cry the entire time and for weeks after that

[Tanja]

Definitely being left behind. I've only left him behind once and cause I was so nervous about flying and there was always something to do or somewhere to go it distracted me pretty well from missing him. Plus I was going home to see my daughter and dogs again whom I had missed loads.

It's devastating being left behind, driving back home alone, stepping through the front door knowing there's no-one there and everything still smells like him. Sleeping in an empty bed and having breakfast alone. I always cried for hours after I got home and couldn't function at all. I hope I don't have to go through that pain ever again.

[BlueCat]

Both are hard, but definitely being left behind. Because my whole life just feels empty afterwards.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I have mostly been left behind, though I did leave once. I find it harder to see him leave than it was when I left. Both were still extremely tough, and I agree it never gets easier no matter how many times you've done it, but I think being left behind hurts more. It leaves me feeling alone and I feel like I have more time to think if he leaves as opposed to me. One of the hardest things I've ever done was watch his train leave the station with him on it. That was extremely painful and I immediately cried my eyes out, and all the sad songs came on the radio as soon as I left the train station parking lot.

[milaya]

Before I used to think it was leaving, but since I've been the one traveling the last two times, I've realized I find it harder to be left behind than the one leaving. Since even though it's hard for me to keep a straight face on a 24 hour travel, it also gives me something else to think about than just "the empty" feeling. So I actually prefer that.

[elina]

Yikes, that's a tough one! I've been left behind way more than I've left.. I've only left once but that was pretty horrible >_> I almost refused to leave and wanted "one more kiss" about 50 times I couldn't hold the tears for a second, pretty much cried through the whole process of getting on the plane. Since then he refused to let me be the one to leave, because he saw how much more I was hurting

It was horrible being left behind too and going back to the empty apartment that smelled like him but.. I think leaving was harder for me.

[lademoiselle]

While parting is never easy either way, being left behind makes me feel like an abandoned puppy, and all I can do is sit and whine at my window until my beloved owner comes back for me!

[Haley53]

I think when you get left behind is worse. At least when you leave your SO you go back to your family/friends etc. That's comforting.

This is why I prefer being left to leaving. :P My mother drives me to the airport (did in my last relationship and will in this one) and it's nice to have company/comfort immediately after saying goodbye. I like having a hug and being able to cry and then going and eating food even though I'm not really hungry and getting ice cream. When I leave, I'm stuck in a stuffy airport, then cramped on a plane, then a layover, then plane again, then finally home when I'm too exhausted to even really want more than cuddles with my dog.

[11MikesGirl21]

I'm usually the one who leaves. I've been left once, but I was at home over winter break so having other people around who I don't get to see helped out a lot.

But it's definitely easier for me being the one to leave. Both suck, but being left sucks more.

[THINK2MUCH]

Oh...This January will be my first time being the one left behind...
I'm sure It'll be so much worse...
I'm afraid I'll get all weird...I might even be mean to him...I always do that when something is too hard for me to take...

[enemey96]

I think that leaving him is easier, because when I leave I have all the time waiting for my flight, on the plane, waiting at the airport and the train journey back from the airport to get myself together and stop being so upset and get used to being alone again. But when he leaves me it's like a part of me is gone. That's why I much prefer going to visit him.

[Jazi]

I accidently voted for leaving.. but I ment to vote being left behind..oops.

being left behind is definitely harder.. it's hard to find things to distract me, and i avoid going into the bedroom because its too much of a reminder of him, when he leaves I feel like i have to kind of mourn his presences..

Although last time I left him, the goodbye was the most calm one we have had so far.. but then about 4 hours into my first flight i went to the bathroom and had a complete breakdown, i felt so helpless.. It was the worst feeling i've had so far when we leave each other. But that feeling only lasted an hour or so. At least I have the flying to distract me, although I hate getting back to my house and it feeling so weird to be there, it always takes me a day or 2 to feel like I belong there.