Feeling left out

[Snap]

I think almost everyone in an LDR experiences this sometime or another. This really didn't happen in my previous LDR because my ex boyfriend literally had no friends and just stayed home all day every day. Anyway, this weekend, my boyfriend was making hypothetical plans and vacations with one of his good friends such as going camping at this national park, etc. I felt really sad and left out because I would have enjoyed going to these places, but mostly I just feel like I'm missing out on part of his life. But there's nothing I can do about it since I won't be around and it would be very difficult to incorporate me in these plans. Then I start spiraling into a whirlwind of negative thoughts. I start thinking/worrying that he'll want a new girlfriend nearby who he can share these experiences with. I honestly believe he can find someone else nearby who is as good as or even better than myself.

How do other people deal with feeling left out?

[Malaga]

I hear you :-/ *hug*
It's my biggest worry to be honest, sometimes I feel it strongly, sometimes it's buried in the background, but it's always there. My social life is pretty poor for various reasons, but he has loads of friends who are always making fun plans for the weekend, and he enjoys hanging out with them. Whereas my weekends are generally boring so that makes it even worse.

We try to send each other pics and videos along the way and stay in touch. We both have smartphones with data plans, so I'll often get a photo or a video clip from him when he's out and about. It definitely makes me feel better, but yeah I still hate it that I can't be there. I feel relieved when he stays at home, that's what sort of person this is turning me into, and I don't like it one bit.

[kteire]

I know the feeling. I hate it, cause I'm back in my hometown with none of my friends around, trying to save up money to move overseas. And he has so many friends I've never met, and every weekend he has loads of plans. And I really really wish I could be there for them! I did worry about the same thing for a long time, him wanting a girlfriend that could be there and actually have weekly plans with him... I talked to Loic about it the last time we were together. He was sad that I didn't feel like part of his life, and said "But you're the most important part of my life!" That was lovely to hear, but I still get sad every time he goes out to do something that I know we'd have fun doing together.
So we try to text when he's out and we can't talk. And I try to find new things to do! When I was feeling particularly insecure about it, I taught myself to knit and made him a sweater for his birthday. It took me about 6 weeks, so it was a good way to kill time. And now he has a sweater that I hand made for him that he wears out when he knows I'm missing him a lot. That does make me feel included in some way. But I'd say new hobbies help! Read a book, do yoga, something to keep your mind off of being left out while he's off doing things!

[Yaaamiii]

Oh boy I know that feeling...we were close distance for about a year, and we'll be going back to long distance, but when we were LD freshman year, I felt this a lot. It definitely was not the nicest of feelings. In fact I've felt the same way in regards to fearing he would find a girl he could actually spend time with. I used to feel like there was a part of his life I would never know...even if he told me all about it...that I would always just be a face on skype, a voice on the phone...words in a text message. I was eventually able to semi-accept this fear, and tell myself that there would simply just be a part of his life I would never have gotten the chance to be a part of, just like there was a part of my life he will have never been a part of either. Realizing that the idea of feeling left out could work both ways, I didn't feel like it was so one sided...it's just how I dealt with it. When we go back to LD next year, I'll have a much busier life than freshman year, so that concern goes hand in hand with feeling left out when we go back to a LDR... @_@ But yes, keeping yourself busy will definitely help...and make the time pass quicker!