are men feels the same loneliness as we girls?..in an LDR

[JEREIANEDREI]

as now i feel lonely,,i upset to know that I'm missing him but my SO i dont know,,,I told him i'll be having my off today,,after a week long I'm busy at work,.I wanna spend my day chatting with him in skype,..but he choose to go bar hop and drink with friends...why he's like that...just a little time I'm asking for him but he's not giving it to me...I dont know what's really going on...why he dont appreciate me?...give me advice please...please...i need some advice

[BabyKirsty]

I'm sure he misses you too. Alot of guys have trouble expressing their feelings. I know MY guy does. Maybe try a set time everyday to talk to each other and ask him to tell you about going out as much as he can in advance.

[rivi87]

Yes they do...My SO is very open about how much he misses me..sometimes he says I dont show it enough :P. Some people just have different ways of showing it

[bluishskin]

I'm sorry to hear that. It is sad when we really look forward to chatting with our SOs but it just doesn't happen as expected. I can easily get moody when that happens to me lol. Have you asked him why he was acting in such a way? Maybe he's been having a lot on his mind? In this kind of situation it's pretty easy to feel unappreciated, but everybody has said before, maybe he misses you too but he doesn't express it openly. On the other hand, yes I'd say some men do feel lonely in an LDR just like women...but some men tend to act cool.
Talk to him about it and see what he says. Encourage him to be open and share with you.
Good luck!

[FadedSunrise]

They do! Mine is pretty open sometimes, when I least expect it. I used to be really needy and not deal well with the passage of time to the next visit, but then I got busier and busier and now it seems like life is moving very quickly as I immerse myself in it everyday. SO's also said this is also how he copes a lot of the time-work more hours at his job, so he can save more money to one day come here and get a masters.

[JEREIANEDREI]

wish he do too....but my SO is too tough..maybe,,i love him so much..hope he feels the same way too...

[Rugger]

I know this feeling. I always feel like he doesn't miss me as much as I miss him because He doesn't show it and he never acts like it bothers him. But men are wired and socialized differently from women. Women are encouraged to talk about and show their feelings while men are taught that displays of emotion are weakness. They also don't cope with loneliness the same way we do. So him going out with his friends and bar hopping, could be his way of coping with missing you. He could be using it to keep his mind off of you.

[flatliner]

yea i miss my SO crazy right now, i havent talked to her in over a week and im going like insane!

[Riyko]

I understand how you are feeling, although in my case my ex always let me know how he felt about me and that he missed me. I would suggest next time sending him a message a few days in advance letting him know you are off work and would like to talk to him for a couple of hours on said date as it seems that you two didn't have plans to talk and so he went off with his friends.

[JEREIANEDREI]

i did tell him already but its nothing to him...he still went out and drink with his friends,,.anyways Loving is understanding,.Loving is unconditional...

[aggie]

Oh, girl, i feel you... they're just hopeless sometimes! But what can you do but love them. Happened to me many, many times... (and we fought about it lots too, always ended up with him saying sorry and me trying to understand - that i'm not there). Like - for me, I could basically give anything I am doing at any time, to answer a phone from him... While he can start a text conversation and when I ask him to ring me, he'd say "Not now, too busy drinking..." . Or our last fight... we set the time, I rang him - he said he was out shopping for a party costume (okay.. i understand... not the best time to talk with a girlfriend) and that i should ring when I wake up cause he will be home... I did. He never answered . . . Few hours later I got a text, he ended up at a football game with some friends and then they went to a bar........

So, what do i do, I just tell myself, that when I finally move in with him, we're not going to have to choose between what's more important - another pathetic few hours spent on computer to chat, or friends and fun that is here and now. Im not saying you cant have fun on skype..., Im just saying that I am trying to understand that we shouldn't let our life pass by... especially while we're both at uni.

And I figure out, as long as he still can make me the happiest person in the world, I need to deal with the distance and all it brings. We all have different ways to deal with it.... Good luck!

[JEREIANEDREI]

Oh, girl, i feel you... they're just hopeless sometimes! But what can you do but love them. Happened to me many, many times... (and we fought about it lots too, always ended up with him saying sorry and me trying to understand - that i'm not there). Like - for me, I could basically give anything I am doing at any time, to answer a phone from him... While he can start a text conversation and when I ask him to ring me, he'd say "Not now, too busy drinking..." . Or our last fight... we set the time, I rang him - he said he was out shopping for a party costume (okay.. i understand... not the best time to talk with a girlfriend) and that i should ring when I wake up cause he will be home... I did. He never answered . . . Few hours later I got a text, he ended up at a football game with some friends and then they went to a bar........

So, what do i do, I just tell myself, that when I finally move in with him, we're not going to have to choose between what's more important - another pathetic few hours spent on computer to chat, or friends and fun that is here and now. Im not saying you cant have fun on skype..., Im just saying that I am trying to understand that we shouldn't let our life pass by... especially while we're both at uni.

And I figure out, as long as he still can make me the happiest person in the world, I need to deal with the distance and all it brings. We all have different ways to deal with it.... Good luck!

thanks i was inspired with your advice....maybe thats it...understanding as always....thats we are....it may hurt us,,but still he is the one who makes us happy...he makes me happy...i miss him so much..but I need to understand him

[aggie]

You will be fine. You have to! And the plus side is... it's all going to be W O N D E R F U L in the end.

[JEREIANEDREI]

You will be fine. You have to! And the plus side is... it's all going to be W O N D E R F U L in the end.

thank you,.you're so sweet...you made me smile for what you've said...thanks..God is good..he will make everything fine,,in the right time

[BlueCat]

I understand what you mean. Sometimes it seems like it hardly effects him. However I know that it does. I know that often he hides it from me, especially when I'm struggling so much with it, which is nice, because it helps me when he's strong so that I can overcome how lonely it feels. Other times he'll tell me how much he misses me, and then other times as well, I know he goes out to do things to take his mind off of it. However, it's hard to balance an LDR with your friends, if you're together in person, you can hang out with friends together, but at the moment, he has to make completely seperate time for you and for his friends. It's hard to do.

I'm sure he misses you, people just deal with it in different ways.