SO keeping ex gifts..

[uniquefem]

When i was in his apartment i did realize that on one book shelves he got so many "cute" things, such ceramic barbaric guy, cute couple statue, lots of small boxes made from iron (for jewelry?) also very tiny sets of tea cups and lots of small ceramic dolls, a pillow shape like a cat (seriously??!) and he said it was from his ex and some is from cities that he visit.

I know it means he just a romantic person... well if he just a friend that what i think.. but its just kind of bothering me..a little bit. Why he keeping his ex stuff and put it on the book shelves next to his bed? we are different personality i know.. if me, i will keep my ex stuff in a box maybe under my bed... but not... expose it like its just normal and seemed proud of it

I didn't see the things that i gave him anywhere them on the contrary.. well he use it most of times (mugs and shirt). Why he had to keep it there?? and he seemed not even like bother/care to say it was from his ex to me.. i don't want to made a fuss about it, thats why i only ask once... he will know that i just jealous and i dont want to sound like crazy.....but is it ok/normal to do?

Are guys always keeping gifts from their ex and put it where his NEW/CURRENT gf could see?

[FadedSunrise]

This is my first relationship, so I'm not very experienced BUT:

I think maybe guys just don't have a clue sometimes that certain things bother their lady. Perhaps to him he sees it as just STUFF, that all that matters is his feelings are gone for the ex, but hey, what she gave him makes nice decorations for his home, so why not keep them? This is one general opinion.

But personally I would also keep anything obviously sentimental like some of those items in a box in my closet. If it were practical gifts like clothing or accessories that aren't obviously sentimental/personalized, then I would keep using them and also treat them as just stuff.

The best way to know is to confront the issue since it obviously bothers you.

[NaNi]

I wouldn't like that either. But maybe he simply doesn't realize that it could/is bothering you? You should tell him about it.

[Mara]

I think if he has it displayed it's because he has no emotional attachment to the things and see them as just 'things'. He probably doesn't even realize that it's bothering you. Maybe you could speak to him about it? And if he's into that type of stuff why don't you give him something that he could put on his shelf to remind him of you? Something sentimental.

[gr8shortandwise]

I agree with Mara--I keep sentimental stuff from my exes hidden away (letters and cards, etc) because I think they're an important part of my history as a person. I do have some nice jewelry that an ex gave me that I wear occasionally because I love it and to me it is exactly that--just a necklace from a now-close-friend, not something with romantic attachment. your SO probably just doesn't associate those things with romance anymore.

[Tanja]

I wouldn't be bothered about this. I keep stuff that my ex has given me on display if I think it's pretty and I like it, not because I have romantic feelings toward the stuff/my ex.

Give him something he can put on the shelf too and if it really bothers you that much then talk about it with him, don't say behind his back how upset you are cause it will not make any difference to him since he doesn't know about it.

I'm sure he wouldn't want to hurt you so if you tell him how you really feel I'm sure he will do something about it.

[Snap]

There are a few things around my house that are remnants from my exes but I keep them up because I'm used to seeing them, some of them serve a functional purpose, and I just like the way they look. By no means do I have any emotional value to these objects and I certainly have no feelings for my exes. For instance, one of my exes gave me this cool rug. It just fits perfectly with the decorations in my house. Until now, I almost completely forgot that my ex gave it to me. Your boyfriend could be the same way.

To answer your last question, no, guys aren't ALWAYS keeping gifts and displaying them. It depends on the person. The same is true for girls.

But I agree with the others. Give him something to put up with all of his other trinkets and tell him that you feel uncomfortable seeing those things from his exes. He'll never know that it bothers you until you tell him. But yes, only ask once.

[Rugger]

Talk to him about it. He's not a mind reader.

I ususly just throw the stuff my Exex give me away or send it back to them. I don't want it and I don't need it. They can do whatever they want with it.

---------- Post added at 08:03 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:03 AM ----------

Talk to him about it. He's not a mind reader.

I ususly just throw the stuff my Exex give me away or send it back to them. I don't want it and I don't need it. They can do whatever they want with it.

[Micah]

I get rid of all my stuff from exes. It would bother me if my SO kept things from his exes, but luckily he gets rid of that stuff too.

[Sierra]

I have gifts out from ex boyfriends, but I don't advertise it.
My boyfriend's dog was a gift from an ex, I certainly wouldn't expect him to hide or throw away the dog.

[Kiara]

I didn't trow away the gifts I had from my ex, and some of them are still laying around in my room. I don't have any emotional attachment to them, and I think it's the same for your boyfriend. Some objects can be nice, others can be useful, others can be part of a past that, in a way or in another, has changed your man. Trowing stuff away or hiding them under the bed is more like denying a part of his past. I believe it's better to continue to live and add new pieces to your life, even litteraly (means give him some nice presents he can display in his room).

[uniquefem]

Ok, i think some of you right, i think he's not emotionally attached to the gift stash... as he rarely see it/check it. I actually left my ear ring shape like roses in front of the barbaric guy and put it on seashell shape of ceramics... so if he check it daily he will see my ear rings. But its already almost a month but he CAN NOT FIND anything that i left he said, hehehe.... i just left an offline msg tho to ask him about it too tho.

I just feel jealous maybe. I just think why it so special..that it need to be always displayed. Because if me i dont want to see any of my ex gifts because that will made the memories back again.... but maybe hes different tho...

Thanks for all point of view here... i still feel kind of worry or sad tho hahah...... i wish hes not putting those in display cause i dont want him to remember

[Engel]

I wouldnt like it either, but thats just me being silly

and if we broke up thenext girl would find it hard to get rid of the thing i gifted him as most of his underwear i gave to him, many t shirts my mother and me gave to him and so on, some cute things and games and the list goes on

[Zephii]

I wouldnt be bothered either. He probably just likes the stuff and doesn't have a sentimental attachment like you're assuming he does. Obi still has gifts from his ex, and I can guareentee it isn't because he still loves her.
Don't panic on this one.

[garnet]

My ex husband has things from our 11 years of marriage all over his new place. His first girlfriend wasn't pleased. He wasn't pining over me, he just cared about the objects and the memories. It had zero to do with the two of us and any future though.
As for me, I keep things stored away. I do save them though.