Does anyone have any good stories about taking a break?
A little background, we started talking in October, met in January. Ever since the beginning, I was negative because I didn't think a long distance relationship could ever work. But we talked so much and had so much fun together and got along so well. We ended up falling in love quickly, and feeling very strongly about each other. But my negativity never stopped, it just got worse. I got insecure, jealous, possessive and upset that I wasn't involved in his life, I guess. I started asking too many questions, wanting to always talk to him, got jealous of other girls who were friends, always asked if he met someone new who is better than me, everything. If we were in the same state, I wouldn't have done that. I've never been that way, and I didn't really realize it until it was too late. He got really burnt out on the relationship, because there was nothing he could do to help how I felt, his words weren't enough. So, we broke up. I have now realized everything, and know what I need to do to make things better.
I saw him for 6 days after we broke up, (I got home a week and a half ago) and we were still affectionate. I was mostly annoying during the 6 days, trying to get more out of him than what he kept telling me. I wanted him to tell me we'd be okay and we'd work things out and he'd trust that I wouldn't treat him that way, with time. He said he'd like for it to work out, he sees a future with me eventually. (I planned to move to his city because I fell in love with it.) and he will continue to talk to me and be my friend. He basically doesn't want a long distance relationship anymore, because it's too hard. He'd like to keep hanging out whenever we can, and see what happens down the road. The only thing I can do now, is be normal, happy and friendly when we talk. But I don't know when we'll talk again. I realize I was being annoying, and he may need some time to get over the negative feelings he has for me. Today is only the second day I've left him alone, I'm just hoping it will be good for us rather than make his feelings fade. We know each other really well and we felt so strongly for each other, I hope that's enough for him to keep his feelings at least in the back of his head, while we're apart and going through this. Since he was the breaker upper, it's like he is busy and doesn't have time to talk to me, or doesn't care to, yet. I hope he will. It has been harder for me, but two nights ago I decided all I can do is give him time and let him come to me.
His first mention was to take a "break", without the intentions of leaving me, he just needed some time apart, probably to do what he's doing now. He thought doing that would make our relationship stronger rather than breaking us up. But I was so sad and complained about that, that the next day he told me nevermind... and a few days later he said he just wanted to break up, probably because he couldn't handle it and just wanted to be done. But in that same conversation, he said he still has feelings for me, but he also has negative and annoyed feelings towards me and he can't just be with me and continue on if he feels that way. Only time can change them. So we "agreed" to be "friends with potential in the future"... the future meaning, when I live there, when there's actual substance. and we'd still hang out and see what happens, because that would be the only way for him to rebuild his feelings.
It's like we barely had time to spend together, to know whether we'd work in real life or not. But everything was so good, I just want a chance. I want to keep talking as friends, to keep the potential for more later. He has said there is still potential and he's not over me. I made mistakes and he got sick of them. I want to show him I can be better, but he can only see that if we talk. I want to talk to him so badly, I hope it won't be weeks til we talk again. I know we both may need to detach, so we CAN start over and rebuild the relationship, I just wish I knew what he was thinking, and I hope he wants that too... he's probably not thinking much about it, just "letting things happen", which is what he wants me to do, too. I asked if we could stay close, and he said "why even ask? whatever happens is gonna happen, asking if things can be a certain way doesn't do anything". That's true. Of course, I really hope he doesn't find someone else to spend time with. But he said he was just gonna hang out with friends and not worry about dating or anything, he's not even interested in looking. And I can't imagine him wanting to start another relationship, with me still in the background, who he said he wants a future with. He said he just wants to be happy with me again, and would like to keep trying. When I was with him, I gave him the opportunity to tell me if he just wanted to be done, and he didn't. If he was totally over me, there'd be no point to tell me otherwise. So, I just have to hope we can have a future, no matter what happens in between. I hope he knows how happy I've made him without all the drama, and how well we get along and how much fun we have, and that's what's keeping him around. I know I have to trust all the words he has said about what he wants, but I really feel like I've ruined it, because of how I was acting, even AFTER I left, after I had asked him everything imaginable. I left on a Monday, didn't talk to him at all and he called that Thursday, for no reason really, so I felt special. I hope he surprises me again and things can start from there. Talking would make me feel better about everything, because then I'd know he WANTS to keep talking, and making an effort, and my annoyingness didn't affect things to where he doesn't care anymore.
The worst part is, I've always settled in past relationships. This is the first time I've ever felt so strongly and in love and like he was truly everything I wanted in someone. We complemented each other so well. I don't want him to become a part of my past. I want all of my future with him. We talked about everything together. I only wanted to get married and have kids because it would've been with him. Before that, I never wanted those things. It's crazy.
So, has anyone been in this kind of situation?
A little background, we started talking in October, met in January. Ever since the beginning, I was negative because I didn't think a long distance relationship could ever work. But we talked so much and had so much fun together and got along so well. We ended up falling in love quickly, and feeling very strongly about each other. But my negativity never stopped, it just got worse. I got insecure, jealous, possessive and upset that I wasn't involved in his life, I guess. I started asking too many questions, wanting to always talk to him, got jealous of other girls who were friends, always asked if he met someone new who is better than me, everything. If we were in the same state, I wouldn't have done that. I've never been that way, and I didn't really realize it until it was too late. He got really burnt out on the relationship, because there was nothing he could do to help how I felt, his words weren't enough. So, we broke up. I have now realized everything, and know what I need to do to make things better.
I saw him for 6 days after we broke up, (I got home a week and a half ago) and we were still affectionate. I was mostly annoying during the 6 days, trying to get more out of him than what he kept telling me. I wanted him to tell me we'd be okay and we'd work things out and he'd trust that I wouldn't treat him that way, with time. He said he'd like for it to work out, he sees a future with me eventually. (I planned to move to his city because I fell in love with it.) and he will continue to talk to me and be my friend. He basically doesn't want a long distance relationship anymore, because it's too hard. He'd like to keep hanging out whenever we can, and see what happens down the road. The only thing I can do now, is be normal, happy and friendly when we talk. But I don't know when we'll talk again. I realize I was being annoying, and he may need some time to get over the negative feelings he has for me. Today is only the second day I've left him alone, I'm just hoping it will be good for us rather than make his feelings fade. We know each other really well and we felt so strongly for each other, I hope that's enough for him to keep his feelings at least in the back of his head, while we're apart and going through this. Since he was the breaker upper, it's like he is busy and doesn't have time to talk to me, or doesn't care to, yet. I hope he will. It has been harder for me, but two nights ago I decided all I can do is give him time and let him come to me.
His first mention was to take a "break", without the intentions of leaving me, he just needed some time apart, probably to do what he's doing now. He thought doing that would make our relationship stronger rather than breaking us up. But I was so sad and complained about that, that the next day he told me nevermind... and a few days later he said he just wanted to break up, probably because he couldn't handle it and just wanted to be done. But in that same conversation, he said he still has feelings for me, but he also has negative and annoyed feelings towards me and he can't just be with me and continue on if he feels that way. Only time can change them. So we "agreed" to be "friends with potential in the future"... the future meaning, when I live there, when there's actual substance. and we'd still hang out and see what happens, because that would be the only way for him to rebuild his feelings.
It's like we barely had time to spend together, to know whether we'd work in real life or not. But everything was so good, I just want a chance. I want to keep talking as friends, to keep the potential for more later. He has said there is still potential and he's not over me. I made mistakes and he got sick of them. I want to show him I can be better, but he can only see that if we talk. I want to talk to him so badly, I hope it won't be weeks til we talk again. I know we both may need to detach, so we CAN start over and rebuild the relationship, I just wish I knew what he was thinking, and I hope he wants that too... he's probably not thinking much about it, just "letting things happen", which is what he wants me to do, too. I asked if we could stay close, and he said "why even ask? whatever happens is gonna happen, asking if things can be a certain way doesn't do anything". That's true. Of course, I really hope he doesn't find someone else to spend time with. But he said he was just gonna hang out with friends and not worry about dating or anything, he's not even interested in looking. And I can't imagine him wanting to start another relationship, with me still in the background, who he said he wants a future with. He said he just wants to be happy with me again, and would like to keep trying. When I was with him, I gave him the opportunity to tell me if he just wanted to be done, and he didn't. If he was totally over me, there'd be no point to tell me otherwise. So, I just have to hope we can have a future, no matter what happens in between. I hope he knows how happy I've made him without all the drama, and how well we get along and how much fun we have, and that's what's keeping him around. I know I have to trust all the words he has said about what he wants, but I really feel like I've ruined it, because of how I was acting, even AFTER I left, after I had asked him everything imaginable. I left on a Monday, didn't talk to him at all and he called that Thursday, for no reason really, so I felt special. I hope he surprises me again and things can start from there. Talking would make me feel better about everything, because then I'd know he WANTS to keep talking, and making an effort, and my annoyingness didn't affect things to where he doesn't care anymore.
The worst part is, I've always settled in past relationships. This is the first time I've ever felt so strongly and in love and like he was truly everything I wanted in someone. We complemented each other so well. I don't want him to become a part of my past. I want all of my future with him. We talked about everything together. I only wanted to get married and have kids because it would've been with him. Before that, I never wanted those things. It's crazy.
So, has anyone been in this kind of situation?
), it leaves me enough of time to figure out what I want and what I am able to accept and what is just too much for me, basically there is much less pressure ... Which is healthier, and I don't run to him about every silly thing I overanalyse... But, he is still my best friend. I love him to pieces and I know he loves me too. We still want to be together in the future (although he has the exactly same attitude as your SO seems to have - I don't want to plan/promise anything, we don't even know what is going to happen tomorrow, not to speak in a year time..) and ... most importantly, we still haven't met anyone who we would consider better for each of us ... And as I said, 14 months went by. 
)
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