His friends found out, and I feel awful

[Jezah]

So, me and my SO have been dating just about 1 month 2 weeks, and he had made a decision to not tell his friends about us because he didn't want to deal with the inevitable ribbing. I understood, was fine with it.

Well yesterday I was txting him and apparently he got up and left his cell phone on the chair near his friend. I didn't know, kept texting and said "I want to be yours" in reply to something he had said. His friend read, and confronted him about it when he got back. It wasn't bad, his friend was civil cause his girlfriend was right there. However, HBB didn't admit we were in love, figuring maybe 'just liking' a girl from 3000 miles away would be easier for his friends to accept than loving one. He told me, and I was fine with it...if anything I felt bad that inadvertently I had let the proverbial cat out of the bag.

Flash forward to today, he is txting me again, and I write back to something he said with "..and thats why I love you ". His friend read this one too, and now his friend knows we are in love....or at least I love him. I feel like crap, like I should have known somehow and not typed that. I told him this He says I shouldn't feel bad, that 'it doesn't matter now' but I do! I really do, like knots in tummy bad. I actually had to essentially blow him off and go DO something else because I couldn't keep talking to him. I am not mad at him, or upset with him at all...just the situation. I have never been in this position before, and it makes me so uncomfortable...and I worry. I think a part of the issue is I worry that his friends giving him a hard time about it for the next 2 months till he sees me will hurt us somehow. Like maybe they will talk him out of it. I know thats crazy, but it scares me.

Overall I just feel horrid, and on top of this he has to spend the next 24 hours with all his mates for their annual 'film fest' and the rule is no phones so I won't even be able to talk to him. I feel so needy, as if 24 hours will KILL me, but with what just happened...its bad timing. I just can't kick this nervous feeling

[leonsfangirl]

Awwww, don't feel bad! If anything feel bad at his "friend" for reading your HBB's messages. Is there any chance that he WANTED his friends to find out?? and left the phone knowing they'd read the messages.

[Jezah]

I suppose maybe he did subconsciously? I couldn't say for sure, and yea I do think it stinks his friend read the message. I would be so mad if my friend did that. I just feel bad causing him any kind of hardship, even if its just his friends giving him crap. I want to make his life better, happier...not worse. So the fact that I may have caused that even by accident makes me feel awful

[Moon]

A guy's friends are going to give him crap regardless, it's what they do, about anything. If his friends finding out about you was really a problem for him, he would have protected his phone much better, I think you're overthinking this one, it's not a big deal to him, so it's best to just let it go.

[13000km]

I don't know, my friends pretty much assumed we were dating, but I would still tell my boyfriend, "don't say that! I don't want my friends to know!" I don't know why (now that I think about it, it might have something to do with me not liking that we met online), but I found it easier to tell them as little as possible, instead of the full seriousness of our relationship. In your case it's not your fault at all that some guy is going through his phone and reading his text messages. It's not the way he would have liked his friends to find out, but if he says it doesn't matter, it means it doesn't matter. Boys will be boys but they'll forget about it eventually.

[Yaaamiii]

A guy's friends will always give crap, like moon said. Don't let what they think bother you or him because ultimately it comes down to how the two of you feel. There is no room for negativity in LDR's :P

[Lina]

First of all, sooner or later, they would've found out, Jezah.

Secondly, you don't have to feel bad about it, we're not talking about someone's fault when it comes to the way his friends found out. And if there would be any person at guilt, that would be the so called "friend" who looked into his Inbox/ read his texts.

Just shake off the feeling and put it all behind you.

[Riyko]

To be honest i'd be more upset finding out my SO's friends are reading his texts and what i sent him then them finding out i'm with that person. Don't worry about it, it isn't your fault at all, just put it behind you and move on

[Ninjamonkeys]

Well then I should probably post here then, being the semi-cause of this topic. Before i start, I've talked it over with Jess so you guys can have the abridged version

Yes I wasn't gonna tell my mates about me and Jess until we had at least met, to reduce the ribbing a bit. Not that Im embarrased of her, most of the time , but I did anticipate a lot of annoyance from my mates. Anyway I managed to have a little talk with a couple of them individually and explained my situation and they're cool with it, a strange reaction I know. The entire situation has gone down a hell of a lot better than I had thought and I'm a little annoyed and sorry that I panicked Jess.

[WARNING: Icky lovey part coming up, sick bags at the ready!]

Jess: I'm sorry for panicking you and making you worried, that is not what I intended. I love you and the only person who can affect that with words is you, you'd have to try really hard too I love you!

[misscaitlin906]

I definitely would not feel bad. you didn't do anything wrong! he should not feel like he has to hide anything and if he does then he should keep his phone on him.