Long Distance Relationship Moving Really Fast?

[Sierra]

Well, my boyfriend and I had a wonderful second visit. I feel closer to him than I have before and am really looking forward to seeing him again. Building a relationship long distance is hard. We've spent a total of 5 days together physically and I know that I'm in love with this man. It's so hard for me to keep my mouth shut and not tell him, and I think I may when I see him next in August.

We talked about what he plans on doing with his life in the near future with his life and how it includes me. It's weird, I've been engaged to be married before but I've never had a conversation I thought was more important, or where someone was actually considering my opinion so heavily - and it made me cry.

I want him to do what's right for him in the end, I can't guarantee that he and I will be together forever even though it feels that way now. I want him to close the distance and move here if that's what he really wants to do, and I don't care how soon it is, I'd like it to be sooner instead of later. I'm just scared it'll be a huge mistake in his life.

Have anyone else felt like their long distance relationship was moving quickly and needed help managing it? I'm just so afraid that it may ruin his life, even though I know at the same time that it could just be the beginning of our life together.

All of these feelings because he left his toothbrush and we had this talk. I wish I could not stress out over relationships. (Also, I should probably add, we both had feelings for each other prior to meeting, and have been talking online for a few years, our relationship moving quickly doesn't really surprise me, it just takes me aback and I'm not sure what to do or how to manage it)

[Minerva]

I feel like my relationship is moving fast too, but I think that's because we've spent years building a friendship online, and when we decided to take our friendship further, so much of our foundation was built. I think the nature of a LDR is that you get to know your partner in a different way than a CDR, a more thorough way because all you have is talking, and then when you get together physically, that aspect rushes to catch up. It's not a bad thing, I don't think, but it is something of a head rush.

As far as his ruining his life to be with you, you just can't think that way. There are no guarantees in any relationship. If you are happy and he is happy and you both want to be together, let it happen.

I'm the same way; I don't want to trap my SO in something that might not work and might end painfully -- but at the end of the day I have to let that go and think he's my partner and he has the choice and right to take a chance on this as much as I do. So even though sometimes I want to tell him to give up on our relationship and find someone close to be with, I won't, because he loves me and it's his choice to stay in this as much as mine.

[Sierra]

We too, have spent years getting to know each other online before feelings developed and we decided it might be worth taking it further. I knew he was special before he had the same feelings for me.

Thank you so much for your post, it sounds like we're in similar situations and that makes me feel better.

[Lina]

As far as his ruining his life to be with you, you just can't think that way. There are no guarantees in any relationship. If you are happy and he is happy and you both want to be together, let it happen.

Exactly what I was going to say when I first read your thread

Plus, since you've known each other for years and you're both aware of your feelings, you couldn't say it's too fast. I know a girl who met her SO through an online game, chatted to him for hours per day during one month and then she moved to his country to be together because they were very sure of their feelings. Now THAT is too fast xD But hey, if they felt like it's the right thing to do and they're happy, Amen! So don't feel guilty and don't consider it as a rushed thing.

[Lina]

As far as his ruining his life to be with you, you just can't think that way. There are no guarantees in any relationship. If you are happy and he is happy and you both want to be together, let it happen.

Exactly what I was going to say when I first read your thread

Plus, since you've known each other for years and you're both aware of your feelings, you couldn't say it's too fast. I know a girl who met her SO through an online game, chatted to him for hours per day during one month and then she moved to his country to be together because they were very sure of their feelings. Now THAT is too fast xD But hey, if they felt like it's the right thing to do and they're happy, Amen! So don't feel guilty and don't consider it as a rushed thing.

[Sierra]

Exactly what I was going to say when I first read your thread

Plus, since you've known each other for years and you're both aware of your feelings, you couldn't say it's too fast. I know a girl who met her SO through an online game, chatted to him for hours per day during one month and then she moved to his country to be together because they were very sure of their feelings. Now THAT is too fast xD But hey, if they felt like it's the right thing to do and they're happy, Amen! So don't feel guilty and don't consider it as a rushed thing.

I know that there are no guarantees in any relationship, that's not really what I'm looking for. I just feel like it's a giant sacrifice to make and that is what terrifies me. When it comes to this big move I feel like i have so much less to lose than he does, and I don't want to be responsible for him losing everything if we don't work out. I don't know if that makes any sense.

We have known each other for years, but it was in a friendship setting, I guess that gives us a leg up on people who haven't known each other as long, but I struggle in relationships, so still this is fast for me. BUT I don't want to slow it down. I guess I just thought that my LDR would be more conventional when it came to the 'time frame' of relationships.

I know two things, I love him and I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I guess we just have to do anything we can to make that happen.

[Hollis]

It is a giant leap of faith because you really don't know what tomorrow may bring. There are no guarantees in any relationship no matter the circumstances. I've known my SO for five years. Even with that length of time there is never a certainty. However, just because you know you love him and want to be with him long term does not mean you need to move fast. Fast is not best. If you feel some sense of it being too fast then I think you should listen to that or you may regret it.

[prideandpromise]

I've only known mine for 8 days. A vacation to Missouri with a friend was my fate to meet him, and although we've only spent 4 days physically together, I love him, and he loves me. It scares me about being a little fast, too. And I'm kind of panicking, so I know how you feel. I kind of want to tell him the same thing, just find someone closer. But I'm trying to stick with it.