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Do you think there is still a chance? (Sorry Long Post..) (Need advice/help please!)

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    #16
    I meant this one "Hey, I hope everything is okay and that you are healthy! How is school and work going? I just wanted to ask if we will ever be able to talk to each other or if you want me to leave you completely alone. I promise I won't message you back if you tell me that you want to be left alone. But know, that I am always here if you want to talk again! And I will always support you and help you, no matter what!"

    If you visit her you're right, it will not be the same. It will be tough and you have to be prepared that she may not want to see you. You have to be prepared to let her go. But if you're there, in her town or city, for a couple of weeks, and she knows it, she may decide to pick up the phone, meet for a coffee, who knows. At least then you would be face to face even if the meeting is ultimately a break up.

    It sounds to me like she has a lot on her plate right now and LDR is very stressful and difficult and maybe she just doesn't have the mental space for it right now. But you say she is your enemy now. What do you mean by that?

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      #17
      Originally posted by D_M View Post
      I meant this one "Hey, I hope everything is okay and that you are healthy! How is school and work going? I just wanted to ask if we will ever be able to talk to each other or if you want me to leave you completely alone. I promise I won't message you back if you tell me that you want to be left alone. But know, that I am always here if you want to talk again! And I will always support you and help you, no matter what!"

      If you visit her you're right, it will not be the same. It will be tough and you have to be prepared that she may not want to see you. You have to be prepared to let her go. But if you're there, in her town or city, for a couple of weeks, and she knows it, she may decide to pick up the phone, meet for a coffee, who knows. At least then you would be face to face even if the meeting is ultimately a break up.

      It sounds to me like she has a lot on her plate right now and LDR is very stressful and difficult and maybe she just doesn't have the mental space for it right now. But you say she is your enemy now. What do you mean by that?
      No no, I didn't mean she is MY enemy. I was just pondering in thoughts that maybe she is seeing me as her enemy now. Maybe she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore at all. As far as I have seen her reaction and her behaviour towards me even before the breakup she didn't want to spend that much time with me. Granted she had and still has a huge amount of work on her shoulders, but she had no time for me for weeks. Now that she broke up with me I was wondering if she is even seeing me as a friend still.

      And yes, it will be very hard, that's why I was wondering if I should go or not. I think I will not go. She has a lot going on and so close before her final exams (12 December) it wouldn't be that good.
      I was thinking, maybe I will work on myself from now on, working on my dreams and maybe in a year or so I could visit her, see if she is maybe interested then or just be friends.
      It hurts a lot, but seeing as she hasn't contacted me at all gives me the feeling that she is not even thinking about me anymore, so maybe she already moved on completely.
      LDR are stressful yeah, I just wonder if there is a chance later, when I am living near her area..... things like this make me wonder if she still likes me but is supressing it or if she is completely not in Love with me anymore.

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        #18
        I understand. It sounds like for your case, it will be better not to go. She may feel the extra pressure that she really does not need right before exams and could end up resenting you.
        Send her the email/text you mentioned before and focus on yourself. Don't wait for a reply, if it comes, it comes, and see how the next year goes.
        There's an expression, something like, if you let a caged bird go and it returns you know it is yours. If it doesn't, it was never truly yours to begin with.
        Focus on the good things in you life where you are and get out there and try new things to bring more positivity into your own life.
        Good luck.

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          #19
          Originally posted by SomeoneYouKnow View Post

          No no, I didn't mean she is MY enemy. I was just pondering in thoughts that maybe she is seeing me as her enemy now. Maybe she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore at all. As far as I have seen her reaction and her behaviour towards me even before the breakup she didn't want to spend that much time with me. Granted she had and still has a huge amount of work on her shoulders, but she had no time for me for weeks. Now that she broke up with me I was wondering if she is even seeing me as a friend still.

          And yes, it will be very hard, that's why I was wondering if I should go or not. I think I will not go. She has a lot going on and so close before her final exams (12 December) it wouldn't be that good.
          I was thinking, maybe I will work on myself from now on, working on my dreams and maybe in a year or so I could visit her, see if she is maybe interested then or just be friends.
          It hurts a lot, but seeing as she hasn't contacted me at all gives me the feeling that she is not even thinking about me anymore, so maybe she already moved on completely.
          LDR are stressful yeah, I just wonder if there is a chance later, when I am living near her area..... things like this make me wonder if she still likes me but is supressing it or if she is completely not in Love with me anymore.

          this is a hard situation I feel for you. Things will probably get easier with time from my experience and maybe with time she will be open to talking and being friends. Hang in there, we are here for you!

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            #20
            Originally posted by D_M View Post
            I understand. It sounds like for your case, it will be better not to go. She may feel the extra pressure that she really does not need right before exams and could end up resenting you.
            Send her the email/text you mentioned before and focus on yourself. Don't wait for a reply, if it comes, it comes, and see how the next year goes.
            There's an expression, something like, if you let a caged bird go and it returns you know it is yours. If it doesn't, it was never truly yours to begin with.
            Focus on the good things in you life where you are and get out there and try new things to bring more positivity into your own life.
            Good luck.
            Yes, I will do that. I will focus on my own carrier and on myself. I will take better care of my Dad and fulfil my dreams.
            If she really wanted to be a part of my Life, she wouldn't have left like that. It hurts but after all it was her choice, like she said.
            And if she really cared about the friendship, she would make an effort to actually keep the friendship.
            Yes she broke the contact to keep me save too, but a little contact doesn't hurt anyone, does it?
            I have been offline on all social media for about 1-2 weeks now, it feels good and I don't really care what she thinks, it was her choice and I respect that, as much as it hurts me because she is a dear friend of mine. But since I care so much for her I will respect her choice.

            Thanks a lot for your kind words! I will definitely achieve my dreams and make not only my Dad proud, but my future self as well!
            Thanks a lot!!




            Originally posted by Angel777 View Post


            this is a hard situation I feel for you. Things will probably get easier with time from my experience and maybe with time she will be open to talking and being friends. Hang in there, we are here for you!

            Time can definitely heal wounds.
            Right now I am completely focusing on myself, achieving my dreams and reaching higher highs in my Life.
            If she wants to be friends again, she will contact me. What I am seeing though is that there is no interest from her side anymore into being friends with me, which hurts a ton.
            You go through Life and meet such amazing people only to realize that they will leave you in the end, and that they don't care about you anymore.
            I guess such is Life.

            I will stay strong and see what the future hold. I still Love her a lot and I still have hope, but my hope is fading every day more and more.
            Maybe I am completely wrong right now, maybe she is missing me too, maybe I should message her..... and I will in the future.
            But now is the time of healing. And I think that is only okay for me. After all she broke up with me. So..... time is what I need right now.

            Thank you very much for your kind words. I will try my best to achieve my dreams and make my Dad proud, because he was always there for me ^^
            So, it is time to make him proud

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