Anyone else deal with super limited phone/real voice contact? Advice pls?

[books]

First off, I would just like to say me and my SO have made it over 6 months LDR which feels like quite an accomplishment based on how limited our communication is!

Here is the deal- I'm in the US and he's in Nicaragua. Since we've been LDR, I have tried calling him at least twice a week. In the beginning, when I was feeling super lonely, I might call him a third time in a week. It helped so much to hear his voice and just have real-time back and forth communication. He has no consistent internet access. There is one internet cafe two towns over from him that closes at 7pm (in theory although the hours are all over the place). He works until 7pm. I lived in Nicaragua for a year and a half, so I know how sucky the internet situation is. I remember making the trek to the internet cafe only to find out it was closed, there was a super long wait, or the power went out (again). Due to this, we don't email.

Facebook Mobile was recently introduced there so if a person has a cell phone with credit on it, they can access Facebook. For the past month, we have messaged a few days a week on Facebook. He doesn't have the option to chat, only send messages and view pages. I have had to cut my calls down to once a week due to my budget. A 50 minute call is $10 and the calls 2 or 3 times a week were really adding up. I hate so much that I have to do this, but until I get a better salary, I don't know what to do. I feel like the decreased phone contact has both been really hard on both of us.

Has anyone here dealt with a similar situation? It seems most LDRs here are sustained by skype/constant chatting/unlimited phone plans, so I feel super bad when I think about how limited our communication really is.

[krabuzh]

Hehehehe your situation is the same with mine, or maybe I'm worse if it comes to communicate with phone or voice call.
For almost a year in my relationship with J, never once we talked directly using a voice call.
I didn't have any mic at that time, and when I finally have it, it's his messenger who acted stupid. Can't do any voice call and his skype is also crashed against his computer. And he's actually studying for a master degree majoring in Computer Science, for God's sake!!! And doesn't even know how to fix it!! *bites*

The only voice I heard was his voice when he sang and recorded me a happy birthday song as my birthday gifts.
I really want to talk with him, maybe I will ask him to fix his skype no matter what.. Lol.
Though I don't want to force him.. ^^

And we also have no daily communication. He can't send me any sms or even call me since he take the cheapest service phone provider, he's not rich. He can only receive my sms but he can't receive international call from me.
He send me email only twice or three times in a week, and then we will spend time together on weekend by chatting through messenger.

The worst was that we've lost contact during winter, since his internet connection was cut down for a month.
But well.. as long as both side try their best to communicate then there's nothing impossible.
So yeah.. I think I'm having the same problem with you in communication way with my beloved one.

[NaNi]

My SO lives in New Zealand and I live in Germany. There're no plans for us either. Which means that phone calls and text messages are super expensive. Due to our 10 hour time difference we get to talk once a week on Skype though. We can't do it more often. Also because my SO has only limited internet broadband.

[Hollis]

Agh, that really sucks. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have access to texting. I can imagine how hard your situation must be on both of you. But, I think you could ease the pain a bit if you decided to send each other packages/letters in the mail and maybe start planning on another visit in person? That would give you both something to look forward to.

[endibot85]

I live in England and my SO lives in Australia, so purely due to time differences, we don't get to chat Mon-Fri, and if either of us have plans on at the weekend we are limited to text messages. We make as much time as possible to webcam and to talk - mainly at weekends, sometimes for only 4 hours a week or so. But our relationship is great - we leave each other emails and facebook messages, and we do, thank god, have access to text messaging. If anyone in the UK has an SO abroad and really expensive international messaging, try what I did - I got one of my beat up old phones, got it unlocked for about £10 and stuck a giff gaff sim in it - free to order and PAYG. My texts to Australia are 8p each Just a little tip

[Joyce:)]

On what do you call him, his cell phone or home phone? If he did have some sort of home phone you'd manage to skype him and spend less than $10 for 50 minutes.
Anyway i suppose you write letters to each other, right?

[books]

On what do you call him, his cell phone or home phone? If he did have some sort of home phone you'd manage to skype him and spend less than $10 for 50 minutes.
Anyway i suppose you write letters to each other, right?

He has no home phone, just cell. From my end, the cell phone rate per minute is more expensive than the home phone rate too, which sucks. But getting a home line is really expensive there & not an option.

We haven't tried letter writing yet. I've had it in the back of my head for awhile, but the postal system there is super slow. It might take ~3 weeks for him to receive my letter. I may give it a shot tho.

I so want to plan another visit and soon! I was able to visit for a week the end of May and that helped so much. Now, due to finances/work situation, I have no idea when I'll be able to visit again. It's true that having that set visit date to look forward to makes things easier.

[Joyce:)]

No matter how long a letter takes to get there, you would be surprised to see how much warmth it gives you, and how much help it can be to a relationship.
I bought a pack of 40 envelopes when i was with my SO, and promised to use them all to send him letters. Italy has a bad postal system, but even when my boyfriend gets a two week late letter, it makes him so happy.
Plus, the positive thing of letters is that you get to keep that piece of paper with your SO's writing <3 And, you could spray your letters with your perfume, that's a plus you can't get with phonecalls or skype

[books]

No matter how long a letter takes to get there, you would be surprised to see how much warmth it gives you, and how much help it can be to a relationship.
I bought a pack of 40 envelopes when i was with my SO, and promised to use them all to send him letters. Italy has a bad postal system, but even when my boyfriend gets a two week late letter, it makes him so happy.
Plus, the positive thing of letters is that you get to keep that piece of paper with your SO's writing <3 And, you could spray your letters with your perfume, that's a plus you can't get with phonecalls or skype

Ok, you've convinced me...this week I will send my first letter to him. I just know I will have to nag him a little bit to get him to send one back. It's not like here when you can just pop it in the mail, gotta make a trip a few towns over but hopefully we can work it out. Letter writing is pretty fun. I remember in high school me and my friends used to mail letters to each other just b/c we liked getting stuff in the mail.

Good point about the perfume, he LOVES my perfume and before I left he was spraying it all over his clothes!

Btw...I understand 100% about the Italian postal system. I lived there for awhile, went to school at Bocconi and my parents are from Sicily (Marsala)...molto piacere

[lucybelle]

We haven't tried letter writing yet. I've had it in the back of my head for awhile, but the postal system there is super slow. It might take ~3 weeks for him to receive my letter. I may give it a shot tho.

My experience with postal service to Latin America (my SO is from Costa Rica) is that it is much quicker to send a letter TO Latin America. I'd send a post card from Europe and he'd get it in 2 weeks or so. But when he sent me a letter FROM CR it took about 2 months to get to me. So be prepared for that.

And for international calling, look into gmail phone or skype plans. In gmail calling to CR is 6 cents/minute. You can use both those programs to call to any phone. It's tons cheaper than anything else.

And as others have suggested, plan a time to communicate every week. So he knows when to expect your call. Buena suerte!

[books]

Thank you for your suggestion lucybelle. 2 months wait for a letter...wow!

As far as the calling rates go, another member here had suggested rebtel to me which is what I've been using. So far it's the best rate to Nicaragua cell phones I've found- 19.9 cents per minute. Google is 26 cents a minute. Unfortunately, Nicaragua is one of the countries that has super high calling rates due to some government tax. I know El Salvador & Honduras are the same, meanwhile Mexico & Costa Rica both have really good rates.

My roommate is from Brazil & calls his country daily. Here in NYC, there is a very popular cell phone provider that lets you add on unlimited international calls for $10 a month. Of course, when I checked it out, Nicaragua was one of the excluded countries

[weetzie]

When my SO is in Brazil I just message him using Twitter DM and Viber, and I call him using Viber.

[MusicalSoul22]

I have limited com too. We used to talk once a week on the phone...now we only txt andhe doesnt respond as much because he is always at school or work during the week. What I try to do is send links to pics or videos of stuff or send the actual pic or video that way he knows I was thinking of him but we don't have to conversate. Also...try sending telegram, postcard, or those new cards with webcam parts you can record.

[Yaaamiii]

Have you tried using a phone card? My family and I are Argentinan so my mom buys a phone card to call family over there because its too expensive otherwise...but you did mention that he doesn't have a home phone, and regardless with a phone card, my moms minutes with the card gets cut badly when she has to call a cell phone. But check to see if Nicaragua has any phone cards to call in your area, I know they exist, and check to see how many minutes you get for how much money. Because a $5 phone card gives us about 500 minutes...? Maybe that can work?

[FadedSunrise]

I second the phone card. It would be ridiculously expensive to call China directly on my cellphone, but a $10 phone card gets me 500 minutes, or $30 for 2 1000 minute ones. And I think international mail is just slow, but in the end still very appreciated. My first letter to China took 5 weeks, the next 3, the next 3 again. >>