I guess I was just really annoyed by the "what if"'s. What if my SO doesn't change and we'll grow together, but we're still going to be madly in love? Then all of this worrying was for nothing. But I do want to work on it.
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My response is to you both:
Rebecca, no-one can make those promises. Well, they can but it's like promising the world won't ever end. It's just not in your power to know what your heart desires in the years to come. Right now it loves and wants Natalie and most likely it always will. You have to try and reassure her with that and not say things or make promises you can't control just to please her.
Natalie: I think when she said she's doubting her feelings it affected you severely.
I know what it's like to hear something that almost breaks your heart and then a bit later be told that those words weren't meant and you should just forget about them. It's unbelievably hard.
But you have to let it go. You have to believe her when she says that she wasn't Herself when she said it and she was under a lot of stress from every direction.
Why do you think she made this thread? It's obvious to all of us how much she loves you, you have to see it too. She may not be able to promise you forever but you shouldn't have to ask for it either. Life is short and you are very lucky to have found someone who cares about you as much as she does. Don't let this destroy what you have. I can promise you this: if you do, you WILL regret it forever.
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We actually talked about this just before. We're good again. She explained to me that she's not worrying about our relationship, but about her future. In general. About not being able to find a job, not earning enough money, disappointing me. That's all it was about. I'm glad we finally got it sorted. We just couldn't talk about it calmly at the time. We were both too sad. But I do believe her. Completely. Because she always told me that she only wants to be with me. That she will continue to love me. I have no doubts about that.Comment
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I'm new here, but the love I see in BOTH of your posts brings tears to my eyes. Like Tanja said, it's so obvious and clear how much you both love each other. Please don't let one mistake tear it apart, and know how rare it is to have someone who refuses to make promises, even at risk of losing the one she loves most in the world, because she respects her too much to ever be false to her.
You're due to see each other in just a few weeks. When you do, this is sure to melt away. I know all doubts left me once I was with my SO in person. It's so easy to doubt things you can't be together, but you'll know once you’re in one anothers' presence again how the other truly feels. Let this be a renewal in your relationship, let it heal.
Take care, both of you.Comment
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What a wonderful post.Originally posted by Minerva View Post
You're right. Whenever we're together we're perfect. Happy. In love. It's amazing. We only have such arguments or doubts whenever we're apart. Which scares me because after this visit we won't be able to see each other again for 10 months, but I'm so in love with her that I know that we can do this. What would I ever do without her? I can't even begin to imagine that.
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I'm glad you talked it out. Sometimes you just need other people's views on things to be able to talk about stuff. I'm happy that you're seeing each other again so soon - I'm sure that once you're in each other's arms again all the doubts you've ever had will fade away.
Let's worry about the 10 months when it's here, right now you better focus on your trip! That's an order
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Thanks Milaya, Tanja and Minerva for your posts. They all helped me a lot.
As Natalie said we are doing better now. I'm not very good at getting my words across or explaining my feelings about things properly which is something I am trying hard to work on, but it is difficult as I have never been very good at it.
Now we are focusing solely on the visit. I'm so excited!
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