Open Roll call!

[lucybelle]

Figured I'd take it from the alumni section and give it to everyone!

Let's get some stats on the LFAD fam!

1. Date relationship began?
2. Date relationship became LDR?
3. Why are you LD?
4. Where do each of you live?
5. How often do you get to visit?
6. Do you like where your SO lives?
7. Best part about being in a LDR?
8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR?
9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR?
10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR?

1. We became "exclusive" November 2010, but we had been in an open relationship since May 2009
2. July 2009
3. I met my SO while traveling. I had to go back to my home country.
4. Well right now we live together in the USA. But he is from Costa Rica.
5. While LD we visited twice a year (he came to me once, I went to him once)
6. I love my SO's country! That's why I'm moving there Will still miss my family though
7. The super cute and romantic emails he used to send me.
8. His webcam was shitty and internet connection was worse, so I could never see him.
9. That it would actually work out in the end. I had absolutely no expectations of actually having a real CDR afterwards.
10. COMMUNICATION IS KEY. If you want something, ask for it. No one is a mind reader. (well no one I've met at least)

[Caitlin2009]

1. Date relationship began? sometime in October before Thanksgiving the both of us dont remember what day that was O_o oopsie! but officially that would be august 6th, 2010
2. Date relationship became LDR? see above
3. Why are you LD? because theres a big ocean that seperates us.....damn you big body of water lol
4. Where do each of you live? i live in Connecticut she lives in Scotland
5. How often do you get to visit? every couple of months when we can afford to do so
6. Do you like where your SO lives? yeaah i do, its beautiful
7. Best part about being in a LDR? knowing im loved no matter what
8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR? the distance. its just all frusterating what i wouldnt give to wake up next to her everyday
9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR? how hard it really was
10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR?if you can do it and you have the strength to do so, then do it because it is worth it in the end. especially if you know that person is your soulmate for life

[FadedSunrise]

1. Date relationship began?

February 2011

2. Date relationship became LDR?

December 16, 2010. I met him when I was abroad for the fall semester in China, so this is the date I came back to America.

3. Why are you LD?

We met when I was abroad for the semester. He works as a trainer at the gym of the school I was attending while abroad. Being the fitness fanatic I am, I tend to literally live in the gym when I've got the time. With such a small gym, I got to know him, then developed a crush on him, and it went from there...

4. Where do each of you live?

I'm in southern California, USA. He's in Beijing, China.

5. How often do you get to visit?

It hasn't happened yet since I left last December. There is a chance I'll get a few days THIS December, 2011. But not getting my hopes up.

6. Do you like where your SO lives?

China, and especially Beijing is...corrupt in many ways and polluted in many others. I HATE HATE HATE the air pollution which makes me unable to take morning runs outdoors, many days I was there. Food contamination is less obvious, but I don't like what I hear now that I'm back on this side of the Firewall. Having said that, Beijing and I have more of a love hate relationship. I LOVE the walking society, walking out my door and discovering little treasures, taking the subway, the old Imperial buildings, the nail and hair salons within walking distance, the cheap hairclips!. What food that is probably safe is DELICIOUS(ok I'm biased, being Chinese myself), and its so fun to take an evening stroll around the campus and nearby student community, grab a $1 giant glass of milk tea and a few pork buns, people watch, and get lost in the flow of other lives. Take away the pollution and corruption and I might want to move back or to somewhere similar, I think.

7. Best part about being in a LDR?

So much time for getting my own stuff done. I still kind of feel guilty sometimes when what I've got to do does conflict with something we scheduled, but in the end, I know such conflicts happen on his end too, and plus, neither of us is going to blame each other too hard because we did try to keep a schedule yet there is just 6500 miles and 15 hr difference between us.

8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR?

...The 15 hr time difference. Which in a way I've realized is better than 12 hr and under differences, because at least one person is not always inconvenienced. Its morning here and night there, night there and morning here, which means that on any given day of the week if we dont' have other work to do its not that hard to schedule talking. What I DON'T like about it is the fact that it feels so weird he's a day ahead. Its like time is pulling him further away from my reality, and putting him in a different dimension.

9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR?

That it's practically like any other CDR. I have to keep telling myself these days that no, really, it is practically a CDR just without the physical affection. I've heard it so much in the beginning but it took trying it out for me to believe it. That it has the possibility to keep going. I literally expected this relationship to fall apart in 3 months, tops. Now I'm at 5 months, we've gone through a couple arguments, but we're still making it work and making each other happy. :is amazed:

10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR?
Talk! Especially for you men out there! Not being able to express your feelings or needs well is no excuse in an ldr, because there is simply no other way for the other party to mind read....something I've tried drilling into my SO's head for a long long time.

[Minerva]

1. Date relationship began? 6/17/2011

2. Date relationship became LDR? We'd been online friends for about 4 years. But we didn't become more than friends until the above date.

3. Why are you LD? Because we met online and I'm American, he's English

4. Where do each of you live? I live in the Chicago area, USA. He lives in Wiltshire, UK.

5. How often do you get to visit? So far, it's up in the air. We've met twice, but since we've become bf/gf, we're working on seeing each other more. We hope he'll be able to visit Chicago sometime this fall.

6. Do you like where your SO lives? I love England. Before we became partners, I wanted to retire there. Now he's talking about moving here, hehe.

7. Best part about being in a LDR? We've spent so much time talking, we've become 100% completely open. This is the best communication I've ever had in ANY type of relationship, and I've found it's true what they say: communication is the key to relationship success.

8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR? Not knowing when we can see each other next, and knowing it may be years before we can close the distance.

9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR? This is new to me, so I'm still learning.

10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR? Love is love, it doesn't diminish because of the distance. This isn't easy, but if you really love someone, it's worth trying to make it work.

[books]

1. Date relationship began?

October 22, 2010

2. Date relationship became LDR?

January 7, 2011

3. Why are you LD?

I was in his country working as a volunteer, needed to come back to the US to make some $$

4. Where do each of you live?

I live in NYC, he lives in Nicaragua

5. How often do you get to visit?

In the 6 months we've been LD, I went to visit right around the 5 month mark. We are hoping for visits every 5/6 months.

6. Do you like where your SO lives?

Yes, I do, it takes some getting used to tho. It's a super poor country and thus has really basic infrastructure with no reliable water, electricity, etc. But it's beautiful and the people are amazing.

7. Best part about being in a LDR?

I'm generally a really independent person so it's nice to have time to myself.

8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR?

The lack of communication. Dealing with no internet access on his part and super expensive phone rates has been a huge pain.

9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR?

That everyone will have something to say. I really wasn't prepared for all the negative reactions from people around me.

10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR?

Your attitude is huge. Waking up everyday and saying "the distance sucks" doesn't help anything. I try to think positive and always remember we are working towards an end goal of being together.

[Yaaamiii]

Oh, fun!

1. Date relationship began?
May 2nd, 2009

2. Date relationship became LDR?
August 18th, 2009

3. Why are you LD?
Because I'm in love with him and he has to go to a different school than I do... :c

4. Where do each of you live?
USA, but different states.

5. How often do you get to visit?
We're close distance at the moment, but we're from the same hometown at least, so when we're LD again, probably 3 months at most is the longest I should go without seeing him.

6. Do you like where your SO lives? I do. He doesn't officially live there yet but we were there once and I saw his school once.

7. Best part about being in a LDR?
Writing letters

8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR?
Ugh the distance. Of course...and the busy college schedules from both sides. :/ Studies and hanging out with friends, its hard to find time. But it will work.

9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR?
I wish I had known it would be this hard. But that's okay.

10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR?
Be patient. Its hard but there is a light at the end of the tunnel

[bluishskin]

1. Date relationship began? 2. Date relationship became LDR? We started getting close some time during September 2009 so perhaps our relationship also started around the same time, but I like to think that it began on October 5, 2009 which was when he landed in my country to visit me for the first time.

3. Why are you LD? We don't live in the same country.

4. Where do each of you live? He lives in Iran and I'm in Indonesia.

5. How often do you get to visit? I haven't had the chance to visit him due to some circumstances but someday I will!

6. Do you like where your SO lives? I haven't been there so I can't say whether I like it or not. A lot of medias have spoken ill about Iran and I suspect that some of the bad news are just bullshit so I need to go there to see and feel everything by myself. However, I absolutely love the language, the food, the sceneries, the culture, and yes, the rugs!

7. Best part about being in a LDR? I've learnt more about myself, about how to be patient and persistent to achieve a certain goal. Thanks to my SO, I know how it feels to be loved for what I am. I can be myself and I've learnt to be more open too.

8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR? We can always plan but it's all in God's hands. Of all the plans that we have been making, there is always a worry (even a tiny bit) that we can't close the distance for some reason.

9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR? None.

10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR? LDR takes communication, sacrifices, compromises and definitely trust. Be patient and strong, work as a team with your SO and just do your best to make it work but also be prepared for the worst.

[meo]

1. Date relationship began? We "met" each other and talked for less than a year but we became official May 20, 2011.

2. Date relationship became LDR? Probably the same as mentioned above.

3. Why are you LD? We both live in different countries.

4. Where do each of you live? I'm in Ohio and he is in Ontario, Canada.

5. How often do you get to visit? Lately it's been twice a month for about a week or two.

6. Do you like where your SO lives? I do, Canada is beautiful but I wish he could be closer.

7. Best part about being in a LDR? Trust and communication is really strong. I also like the anticipation that is built up before seeing him because it makes it the best moment once I jump into his arms.

8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR? Not having him there for me physically when I need him the most.. this meaning, his touch and how he makes me feel by just being next to me.

9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR? I don't have anything really in particular, I just wish it wasn't so hard.. but all I can do is stay strong.

10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR? Don't give up and don't have second guesses because if you truly care and love them, it is all worth it in the end.

---------- Post added at 11:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:21 PM ----------

1. Date relationship began?

February 2011

2. Date relationship became LDR?

December 16, 2010. I met him when I was abroad for the fall semester in China, so this is the date I came back to America.

3. Why are you LD?

We met when I was abroad for the semester. He works as a trainer at the gym of the school I was attending while abroad. Being the fitness fanatic I am, I tend to literally live in the gym when I've got the time. With such a small gym, I got to know him, then developed a crush on him, and it went from there...

4. Where do each of you live?

I'm in southern California, USA. He's in Beijing, China.

5. How often do you get to visit?

It hasn't happened yet since I left last December. There is a chance I'll get a few days THIS December, 2011. But not getting my hopes up.

6. Do you like where your SO lives?

China, and especially Beijing is...corrupt in many ways and polluted in many others. I HATE HATE HATE the air pollution which makes me unable to take morning runs outdoors, many days I was there. Food contamination is less obvious, but I don't like what I hear now that I'm back on this side of the Firewall. Having said that, Beijing and I have more of a love hate relationship. I LOVE the walking society, walking out my door and discovering little treasures, taking the subway, the old Imperial buildings, the nail and hair salons within walking distance, the cheap hairclips!. What food that is probably safe is DELICIOUS(ok I'm biased, being Chinese myself), and its so fun to take an evening stroll around the campus and nearby student community, grab a $1 giant glass of milk tea and a few pork buns, people watch, and get lost in the flow of other lives. Take away the pollution and corruption and I might want to move back or to somewhere similar, I think.

7. Best part about being in a LDR?

So much time for getting my own stuff done. I still kind of feel guilty sometimes when what I've got to do does conflict with something we scheduled, but in the end, I know such conflicts happen on his end too, and plus, neither of us is going to blame each other too hard because we did try to keep a schedule yet there is just 6500 miles and 15 hr difference between us.

8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR?

...The 15 hr time difference. Which in a way I've realized is better than 12 hr and under differences, because at least one person is not always inconvenienced. Its morning here and night there, night there and morning here, which means that on any given day of the week if we dont' have other work to do its not that hard to schedule talking. What I DON'T like about it is the fact that it feels so weird he's a day ahead. Its like time is pulling him further away from my reality, and putting him in a different dimension.

9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR?

That it's practically like any other CDR. I have to keep telling myself these days that no, really, it is practically a CDR just without the physical affection. I've heard it so much in the beginning but it took trying it out for me to believe it. That it has the possibility to keep going. I literally expected this relationship to fall apart in 3 months, tops. Now I'm at 5 months, we've gone through a couple arguments, but we're still making it work and making each other happy. :is amazed:

10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR?
Talk! Especially for you men out there! Not being able to express your feelings or needs well is no excuse in an ldr, because there is simply no other way for the other party to mind read....something I've tried drilling into my SO's head for a long long time.

Wow, you two are pretty far apart! You are def an inspiration because I think a 5 hour time difference is hard. Stay strong!

[oukeying]

1. Date relationship began? October 31, 2010
2. Date relationship became LDR? The last time I saw him was May 15, 2011. But we were LD for a little more than a month during winter break.
3. Why are you LD? We attend the same university; we are only long distance while we are on break.
4. Where do each of you live? I live south of Boston, Massachusetts; he lives in Bridgeport, Connecticut
5. How often do you get to visit? Never. I came home with him once during spring break, but his mother is controlling and doesn't like me, so she won't let us visit each other. Not until we move back to school, at which point she won't have control over him.
6. Do you like where your SO lives? Um, sure, I like Connecticut. But I don't like that he is living with his parents, for the reason above.
7. Best part about being in a LDR? "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR? I miss him. Simple as that. But I especially miss his touch/kiss/embrace/etc, since I just can't have that right now.
9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR? Nothing, really. It's only three months.
10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR? To be perfectly honest, I don't think I have any advice that anyone here in the forums hasn't already heard.

[BoogleBee]

1. Date relationship began? 30/11/09 - Starting communicating on 03/09/09 and 3 months later we realised we wanted to be a couple.
2. Date relationship became LDR? From the beginning.
3. Why are you LD? We met online, and live 15000+ miles apart.
4. Where do each of you live? She lives in Germany. I live in New Zealand.
5. How often do you get to visit? Anywhere from 6-10 month gaps. We first met in Jan 2010 and then didn't meet again till November 2010. That visit ended in mid jan 2011 and she arrives here again in just over 2 weeks!
6. Do you like where your SO lives? I LOVE her city. She lives in a place called Wuerzburg. I think it is a beautiful place. I loved it over there. The different culture, everything.
7. Best part about being in a LDR? I am able to concentrate a lot on my Uni studies while she is not there during the day. Also being able to look forward to parcels in the mail!
8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR? How far apart we are and hence the long gaps between visits. Each trip has to be planned months in advance and it is a huge expense. Flights are hugely expensive as is living costs when we are together. But we are managing .
9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR? How hard it truly is.
10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR? Patience and communication are key factors. There are times when it seems unbearable, but you have to be patient and share feelings as physical forms of comfort are not available. Don't let others make you second-guess your decision. There will be people who don't understand LDR's or appreciate the difficulty of LDR's but you just need to learn to ignore that.

[Rosser]

1. Date relationship began? Hasn't officially begun yet, however, we both wanna, I just have to ask her (I planned on it either tonight or tomorrow).
2. Date relationship became LDR? As stated above, relationship hasn't become 'official' just yet, however, we met December 5, 2010.
3. Why are you LD? We are LD because we met on an app on our phones (Androids). We began talking and haven't looked back.
4. Where do each of you live? I live in Ontario, Canada. She lives in Kentucky, USA.
5. How often do you get to visit? I got to visit her in February, and we are trying to schedule a visit asap!
6. Do you like where your SO lives? Yes. It is similar to the area I live in, and is a beautiful, friendly place.
7. Best part about being in a LDR? Even though we are far apart, because we don't get to see each other, we get to actually miss the other person.
8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR? We have had several visits fall through because of our busy schedules, and sometimes visiting seemed impossible.
9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR? How to handle the loneliness and tips on visiting.
10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR? Don't knock it until you try it.

[Mara]

1. Date relationship began? We met online July 13, 2009 and became official the day we met in person August 28, 2009.

2. Date relationship became LDR? We closed the distance temporarily on September 30, 2009 and I moved back home July 29, 2010.

3. Why are you LD? I decided to go back to college and because of my grades when I left college and my finances I had to return home. My SO is also in school and will most likely be going back to school after he finishes up this degree and doing a masters in a different program.

4. Where do each of you live? We both live in the United States, but hundreds of miles apart.

5. How often do you get to visit? We don't really have a typical schedule because of our conflicting schedules, lack of money, personal issues, etc. Three months is currently the longest we have gone between visits, but when we finally see each other again we will have gone four months. We try to see each other every month and a half to two months, but that doesn't always work out.

6. Do you like where your SO lives? Yes, we talked about settling down there, but with him probably moving further away after he finishes this degree in December, I doubt we will.

7. Best part about being in a LDR? It's made as stronger as a couple. I feel like if we can get through times where we don't see each other for three or four months we can get through anything. It's also helped communication and problem solving.

8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR? Just not being able to see him when I want to. When I'm upset or he's upset it's not like we are just five or ten or even thirty minutes down the road from each other.

9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR? That things are unpredictable. Sometimes the best made plans go astray, sometimes visits fall through, and sometimes communication is even hard to maintain. It's not a cakewalk and it's not for everyone. It takes a lot more than love and good intentions.

10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR? Communication and trust are must haves in any relationship, but in a LDR they are much, much more necessary.

[8000miles]

1. Date relationship began? Well met December 14th, 2009. We call that the official date, but it was much after that that we started dating, and maybe wasn't really 'real' until Dec 13, 2010.
2. Date relationship became LDR? Always.
3. Why are you LD? Because we were born across the world.
4. Where do each of you live? Springfield, OR, USA -- Singapore
5. How often do you get to visit? We only visited once in 1.5 years.
6. Do you like where your SO lives? I haven't been there (yet). I like everyone I've met from Singapore, but I don't really like the lifestyle. The (ONE :'( ) season seems awful and it's just a big city. But it's SO close to so many really cool places.
7. Best part about being in a LDR? You aren't 'tricked' by physical contact. You get to know the PERSON.
8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR? Along with being good, you can't hold each other. And communication via internet is incredibly ambiguous.
9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR? Uhh, I'm not sure.
10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR? Communication. Super clear stupid communication. Don't assume anything. That means don't assume that mean something a certain way (especially if you think it's negative) or assume they'll know what you mean by something. Clearly say everything and check with each other to make sure you/they understood correctly.

[Lina]

1. Date relationship began?
September 2010.
2. Date relationship became LDR?
Right from the beginning. xD
3. Why are you LD?
We met online, we're still in school and we have to pull it through college in order to close the distance.
4. Where do each of you live?
I live in Romania and he lives in Egypt.
5. How often do you get to visit?
Never so far. :/
6. Do you like where your SO lives?
There are many things I could say here but I'll stick to the short version, lol. Over all, I like Egypt, though Cairo is a crowded,polluted city, there are still so many things to do and see, it's great. I guess I'm still adjusting to the idea of a muslim society, with different conceptions and customs (I think that at first I would feel very awkward living there).
7. Best part about being in a LDR?
Guess it's the free time. I mean each of us still gets to spend time with friends and the things which each enjoys.
8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR?
The distance, obviously, haha. The lack of physical connection, better said the warmth of physical presence.
9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR?
I don't think there's something I wish I knew about it...I was aware of what long distance implies so...
10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR?
Maintain trust and communication at high levels.

[jennten]

1. Date relationship began?
Feb 1, 2011

2. Date relationship became LDR?
May 20, 2011

3. Why are you LD?
We live on opposite ends of the country from each other and it's summer break time.

4. Where do each of you live?
I live in Seattle, he lives in Tampa, we go to school in Portland, OR

5. How often do you get to visit?
He's coming to see me at the beginning of August and then we'll be back in school

6. Do you like where your SO lives?
I've been to Tampa, but not to see him. It's a really nice city, but too hot and humid for my liking. XD

7. Best part about being in a LDR?
The fact that it isn't lasting very long, although, we'll just have to start it up again for winter break and then again next summer. =/ I'm really not very cut out for this and I so look up to people who are. (All of you guys on here have my undying admiration)

8. Most frustrating part about being in a LDR?
Times like this week when it's next to impossible to coordinate any type of contact besides texting.

9. Something you wish you knew before going into a LDR?
I wish I knew our fights would increase a whole bunch! I would have prepared myself better for it. But I also think it's been good for us, since we've worked out a lot of issues we might not have noticed if we always remained CD.

10. One piece of advice for those in a LDR?
Pick your battles.