Hey all. My so and I got in a big argument last night. He's really depressed because he has no money and is homesick...and last night was the worst I've heard him. He said he's changing and he hates himself. And that im blind to it. I tld him all his good qualities but he doesn't believe it. I can only tell him it will be ok so many times...he doesn't believe in it I guess. He even said maybe eventually he will dissapear and live "the rest of hismiserable life" alone. Even said he doesn't blame me if I want nothing to do with him and that he knows it hurts but he's in a dark place for now. Idk what to do! I used to be able to go over to his house andmake it better. Now obviously I can't do that with the whole LDR thing. I've been very stressed and emotional. What can I do? I told him I will always be here. But again...its like im always repeating myself. I don't know what to do from here....
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It sounds like he has depression. A really, really bad case. Speaking as someone who has been there (and sometimes still is), and with an SO that is also sometimes there, all you can do is be there for him, and tell him over and over that you're there and love him.
Honestly, there's not much you can do when it gets this bad though. He's not going to hear you, the depression has taken over his mind now. What would be best is if he decided to see a therapist. He might need meds.
You can't fix him, you can't make it better. All you can do is love him and be there for him and not judge him, and hope he sees some sort of light or decides to help himself. This sort of situation is difficult to deal with even in a CDR, it’s even harder in an LDR.
Take care of yourself, and try not to blame yourself for how he feels. This isn’t the fault of either of you.
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Thank you. I just keep praying he sees the light.Comment
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Not having any money is very depressing. Just be there for him so at least he know's he has you.Comment
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He can have depression, like Minerva said, but don't jump to conclusions. I was actually in your partners place, I hated myself for a long time but I did go get help with just talking to someone. The only thing you can do is be there, and resassure him. It's hard to be in your position but after one million times + one, he will eventually get the picture. I know I did.
Best of luck, for both of you in different ways. Keep strong! We're always here to support you
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I do agree that it's best not to jump to conclusions, but I get concerned when people start talking about disappearing. That's really worrisome talk.Originally posted by nic&matt View Post
And you're right, support can make a huge difference. I've made the progress I made because my SO has supported and believed in me for years now. But I've been getting better because I'm taking the steps to do so for myself. He just helped hold me up until I was strong enough to hold myself up.Comment
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Thanks to everyone. I know I would feel depressed if I was in his shoes. But you all are right..I just need to be supportive and tell him im here. I've been trying to talk about stuff that will keep his mind off things. He seems a little better but its a process ya know.Comment
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And we all know, it's easier said than done, but we all promise, all of those who have been through it, that it passes. It's dark now, but it won't always be forever. There's always a silver lining, always a light at the end of the tunnel Comment
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