Is this cheating?

[ClipitsWings]

I can see how it would bother you, but he didn't intend to do anything, didn't let her kiss him, wasn't sober enough to realize the situation... Plus he still told you. I wouldn't call it cheating really, so I don't see a problem with you forgiving him. Hope you feel better

[Trethsparr]

It really surprises me that some relationships need to set up such boundaries. It's obvious for me. A naked girl, not my SO, dancing in front of me = inappropriate, nothing I should be looking at. I know he was drunk, but... still.

Spot on.

Jiynx, since it's already done and over with, I would understand if you forgave him, but I agree that you two should probably discuss what you're comfortable with (your boundaries with others) in your relationship.

[Caitlin2009]

It really surprises me that some relationships need to set up such boundaries. It's obvious for me. A naked girl, not my SO, dancing in front of me = inappropriate, nothing I should be looking at. I know he was drunk, but... still.

amen to that. some things just go without saying

[Minerva]

OK, I don't want to put ideas into your head, but something just feels off about this whole thing. A girl admits she used to be a stripper, starts doing her thing, and people leave? Makes more sense to me that a crowd would gather.

Again, I could be totally off, but I've found sometimes people will admit to smaller sins to feel better about the bigger ones. Not saying he did anything, but the story just feels off.

[Silencedsongs]

OK, I don't want to put ideas into your head, but something just feels off about this whole thing. A girl admits she used to be a stripper, starts doing her thing, and people leave? Makes more sense to me that a crowd would gather.

Again, I could be totally off, but I've found sometimes people will admit to smaller sins to feel better about the bigger ones. Not saying he did anything, but the story just feels off.

This.

[tiffiebabbi14]

I do not think it is! It hurts to know he did that but he obviously loves you if he pushed her away!

[jiynx]

Yeah. I thought the story sounded fishy at first too. He knows that this wasn't okay. That's why he told me. She didn't start stripping until after everyone went out for a smoke (he hates smoking) I think. But yes, still founds fishy. I think he's telling the truth though....... I hope he is.

If I want to try to make this work, I kind of have to just trust him, right? I mean, he did stop it. And I've never felt more right about anything in my life than being with him. So from telling me the truth, he deserves a second chance? I want to work on gaining that trust again because being with him is amazing.

Thank you for all your input. This is really helping me sort out my thoughts. Keep em coming

[Phwoar]

It's not cheating, but yeah I would be annoyed most people would be too I'm sure.

Just try and remember nothing happened between them it was jsut something silly that happened whilst drunk

[kteire]

Yeah, I agree with the masses - not really cheating. That being said, I think that's pretty close though... I know if my SO told me that he had watched one of his female friends strip, drunk or sober, alone or not, I'd be furious. I'd really he rather not know what his female friends look like naked, and he's well aware of that. I feel ill thinking about a female friend stripping for him and him not stopping it, or at least leaving the room.

[Kerry]

I hope you were able to tell your bf just how you felt about what happened. that's important. it's funny what guys think is ok/not ok to tell their girlfriends. a girl came onto my bf and he told me days later- I was pissed!

[Tanja]

Why does everyone keep saying 'well he was drunk'. Is that an excuse to do something inappropriate? If he didn't do anything then fine, it's not cheating. But IMO being drunk or sober doesn't chance the fact that he was in a room alone with a naked chick who was trying to get it on with him. If he really said no (even though he was wasted and didn't know what he was doing apparently), then good for him and you've found yourself a keeper!

It's up to you whether or not you trust his word and are willing to forgive him.

[Tabitha]

I'll agree with everyone else. It's not cheating, but it is certainly inappropriate.

[littleone]

Not cheating. If that was me and it happened to my SO i'd be a bit annoyed but wouldn't let it bother me to much. I'd inform him it needs to not happen again if she decides she is going to strip he needs to tell her no or he/her needs to leave. tell him he wants to see chicks naked to go to a strip club. :-)

[Micah]

I agree it is inappropriate, and I also think he shouldn't have put himself in that situation in the first place. I guess I personally feel that when I am in a relationship that is long distance, I am not going to go places, or put myself in situations which could be deemed inappropriate or shady by my SO. It's just common respect for the relationship. I am not saying he can't have fun, but it sounds to me like he was just in a bad situation with questionable company all around. It isn't normal for some chick to just start stripping in front of people... at least in my opinion. And the whole story just seems a little off to me. It takes a few seconds to strip down to being naked, and he could have left the room as the stripping was going on instead of staying there long enough for her to try to make a move. It is good that he eventually told you about it, but maybe he should rethink who he's hanging out with from now on. I am sorry you are in this dilemma in the first place.