NEED SOME ADVICE!

[tiffiebabbi14]

I'm 17 and a half years old and my boyfriend is 22 and lives in Arizona, I live in Pennsylvania. I have a year of high school left. I turn 18 in February and I am not sure if I can live where I am at past 18. I am sick of it at my house and I want to get out .... Well me and my boyfriend just discussed this and I am going to stop taking my birth control so when I go out and see him over Christmas I can pregnant and then move down there when I turn 18. Just a big decision. Need some advice?

[XxMeg589xX]

That Doesn't sound like the right way out.. A baby doesn't make things easier. A LDR takes time and patiences..

Personal Opinion: You need to turn 18, finish highschool and then move.

[Minerva]

DO NOT DO THIS.

If the best solution you can find to the problem of not being with your boyfriend is "get pregnant" you're NOT ready to have a child.

Frankly, you sound too selfish and immature to be a parent. Being a good parent often means choosing between what you want and what is best for your child. Until you understand that, you're not ready to bring a child into this world.

Now that I've got my moral outrage for your plan out of my way, let me tell you, children are a HUGE burden. Your life will no longer be your own. Want to go out and party with your friends? Oops, Jr has a fever. Want to go back to school? Oh dear, daycare costs an arm and a leg. Want some new clothes? Oh my, the kid just had a growth-spurt and needs a new wardrobe. Like your pretty things? Whoops, she just broke your favorite necklace. And on. And on. And on. Kids are expensive, time consuming, stressful, and change your life forever.

And if it doesn't work out with you and your guy, guess what? You'll be stuck in Arizona until the kid is 18, because you won't be allowed to take the kid away from his dad.

As far as plans go, this one is full of FAIL.

[XxMeg589xX]

DO NOT DO THIS.

If the best solution you can find to the problem of not being with your boyfriend is "get pregnant" you're NOT ready to have a child.

Frankly, you sound too selfish and immature to be a parent. Being a good parent often means choosing between what you want and what is best for your child. Until you understand that, you're not ready to bring a child into this world.

Now that I've got my moral outrage for your plan out of my way, let me tell you, children are a HUGE burden. Your life will no longer be your own. Want to go out and party with your friends? Oops, Jr has a fever. Want to go back to school? Oh dear, daycare costs an arm and a leg. Want some new clothes? Oh my, the kid just had a growth-spurt and needs a new wardrobe. Like your pretty things? Whoops, she just broke your favorite necklace. And on. And on. And on. Kids are expensive, time consuming, stressful, and change your life forever.

And if it doesn't work out with you and your guy, guess what? You'll be stuck in Arizona until the kid is 18, because you won't be allowed to take the kid away from his dad.

As far as plans go, this one is full of FAIL.

Agreed.

[Sora1101]

I'm 17 and a half years old and my boyfriend is 22 and lives in Arizona, I live in Pennsylvania. I have a year of high school left. I turn 18 in February and I am not sure if I can live where I am at past 18. I am sick of it at my house and I want to get out .... Well me and my boyfriend just discussed this and I am going to stop taking my birth control so when I go out and see him over Christmas I can pregnant and then move down there when I turn 18. Just a big decision. Need some advice?

I am literally in the EXACT same position as you, I'm 17 my SO is 22 I turn 18 in february and I live in Arizona, trust me more similarities than you may think so take it from me, this is a horrible idea, you're young, sure you might think you're in love and everything but your brain isn't fully developed until you're in your twenties so having a child when you are still a kid yourself is not something you do just because you want to live with your boyfriend who may or may not be around forever, when you get older you began to change, especially once you become independant and have to learn what it's like taking care of yourself all by yourself. I mean this is another human being's LIFE we're talking about, someone who will be completely dependant on you for a very long time not some goldfish that will die in a couple of months. If you want to be with your boyfriend wait until you finish high school, if you're still together by then move to him at that time, there's no need to rush growing up, take it easy and enjoy what little childhood you have left.

[Lina]

Giving birth to a child is an act of responsibility and love, not a way of getting out of your current life. It's not like you buy a car and elope with your SO, it's a child, a Life we're talking about. So this plan you've come up with is really inappropriate, it's wrong. So like Megan said, wait till you finish high school and then move with your SO. I'm sure that in the future you'll be glad you didn't give life to a kid just to use it as a way out of your home.

[garnet]

DO NOT DO THIS.

If the best solution you can find to the problem of not being with your boyfriend is "get pregnant" you're NOT ready to have a child.

Frankly, you sound too selfish and immature to be a parent. Being a good parent often means choosing between what you want and what is best for your child. Until you understand that, you're not ready to bring a child into this world.

Now that I've got my moral outrage for your plan out of my way, let me tell you, children are a HUGE burden. Your life will no longer be your own. Want to go out and party with your friends? Oops, Jr has a fever. Want to go back to school? Oh dear, daycare costs an arm and a leg. Want some new clothes? Oh my, the kid just had a growth-spurt and needs a new wardrobe. Like your pretty things? Whoops, she just broke your favorite necklace. And on. And on. And on. Kids are expensive, time consuming, stressful, and change your life forever.

And if it doesn't work out with you and your guy, guess what? You'll be stuck in Arizona until the kid is 18, because you won't be allowed to take the kid away from his dad.

As far as plans go, this one is full of FAIL.

As someone that JUST had a baby, I also agree. Don't do this. Really.

[MissVampyxo]

That is definitely NOT a good decision. You can't stand a bit more in your house? It can't be THAT bad. I can't stand my house either and I'm 16, but I know it will be worth it in the end and the more I rush being with my SO the harder it gets for both families and ourselves. Will you and your bf be able to afford to take care of the baby? It shouldn't even be about you and him, that's horrible to do to the child. Just to have it to get your bf? You need a lot more patience, and I'm sorry if I'm coming off as rude. The baby will need a LOT of care and money to afford one. And especially if you're moving in with him and he still lives with family that will also put more stress on all of you. I promise you it will be worth it taking the time and not putting a big stressor on everyone by you getting pregnant. Also it can take almost up to a year sometimes to get pregnant after stopping birth control and also in general can take months before you actually conceive no matter how hard you try.

[NonyaB]

Please re-think your plan. I am sure you can come with other options if living at home is so horrible, having a baby is not going to fix that.

[leonsfangirl]

DONT DO IT!!!
As a young mom (i was pregnant at 19) i can't stress this enough that it is a BAD idea! Having a child will not make anything easier. You have yourself PLUS a little one to think of and everything you do will affect the life you brought into this world.
I know you might not want ot hear this but your still a child yourself, you need to live your life alittle more before you dedicate the rest of it to your child. I love my children dearly but theres is soooo much i wish i had done before having them.
Seriously, reconsider this as an option.

[blankita719]

As the child of some one whose brilliant idea to get the hell out of dodge was to get pregnant (with me), can I stress even more NOT to do this? My parents divorced when I was very young and they couldn't have done it soon enough. My mom was 17 when she got pregnant and 18 when she had me and my dad was 21. They got married, moved around a lot & by the time I was 8 years old, I (along with my younger sister) had a suitcase packed under our bed ready to leave at any time because my parents fought so much I knew even then they shouldn't be together. So you think you love each other now, but the emotional and financial stress of having a baby is a very big deal. Even at 25, I had a hard time coping with becoming a mother myself. Do you really want a child that will grow up thinking that he or she was a means to an end and not made out of love? Because I did feel that way for a very long time growing up and I wouldn't want any child to ever feel that.

[krabuzh]

I only want to say this: DO NOT use pregnancy and a baby as your excuse to move out from your house!!!

Even though I have no babies now and I don't plan to have it in the near future, but I know how it feels like to have a baby especially when you are not ready mentally and financially.
To have a baby means that you have to prepare for everything, because once you have it you will have a huge responsibility to take care of it. A baby doesn't mean that it like a doll, a "thing" that you can "make", "play" and then you can throw it any time you like because you are getting bored of it or can't stand of it.
To raise a baby means that YOU have to be ready! Ready to be a good parents. Ready to fulfill your baby's need (health, education, caring and financial need).

When I read your reason, it sounds like you are still childish and doesn't ready to even have a baby. Your way of thinking is still not mature enough, because you are just thinking of yourself --> how to make you be able to get out from your house.

I think there must be a way for you to move out from your house and talk with your family in the right way.

PS: sorry if it's sounds harsh. BUt I'm just trying to be honest with you and please, please do consider about it again.
Good luck!

[Yaaamiii]

There's nothing else to say, everything has pretty much been said. But if you're selfish enough to think that a baby is the only way out, I am going to safely assume that you will not be able to give the child the emotional and financial support it needs. Unless this is some kind of a joke, I strongly advise you to reconsider what you're doing, because you don't know if you will even be with your boyfriend after you graduate. And I feel that if your boyfriend agreed and plans to support you in the decision, he's probably not ready to be a father.

What's more, if the information on your profile is accurate, I mean, come on, you guys haven't even dated a month. :/ I'm sorry if all of this came off as harsh, but its the truth..

[rivi87]

My goodness..this sounds like a very Ill thought out ideas I've heard. like some of the girls commenting on this feed I am also kidless (and we plan to stay that way for awhile) but that being said I am from an area where boys will knock other girls up (usually on accident) and they decide they have no choice but to get married. I will tell you I have seen alot of those marriages or relationships end badly in a very short amount of time.

You are also so young. Deciding to have a child at such a young age stunts the oppurtunities for you. Don't you want to do something with your life? I know it's your choice and I believe that as a young naive, stubborn girl you are going to do what you want..but please take out opinions into account before you do this. I wish you the best of luck in your relationship and your choice.

[snow_girl]

I am going to have to agree with everyone else. Worst idea ever.