First Fight

[Mara]

But what he actually said to me on the phone last night was something along the lines of, "I want to marry a Catholic girl and that's what's important to me. I don't know if we're going to work out."

He definitely should have been more upfront and honest with you in the beginning, but maybe he is struggling with this issue? Before I started dating my SO, I dated a guy for a while who wasn't of the same religion as me. I really liked him, but in the end, the issue was just too huge imo for us to keep dating. It wasn't something that was easy for me though because I really cared for him and part of me did want to date him and see where things went.

I think you just need to have a talk with your SO. Explain your stance, your concerns, etc. Maybe this is something the two of you can overcome.

[Yaaamiii]

Both my SO & I are Catholic, though hardly strict, we see nothing wrong with social drinking in moderation. I'd be curious to know how much his actual beliefs about drinking/drugs originate from religion. I say this b/c I do attend mass regularly and there is much more focus on being honest/showing love to others/helping others than there is preaching the evils of drinking/drugs.

Yah I'm gonna have to agree. I'm Catholic as well, and from what I understand drinking in moderation is okay. The Bible does say to not get drunk, but drinking in moderation is not the same thing as getting drunk. I as well attend mass regularly, and there really is more focus on love and helping others than drinking and doing drugs.

[rori795]

I just wanted to let you guys know that we broke up.

After this fight, he didn't call me. When I hadn't heard from him by Wednesday, I called him, and pretty much demanded to know why this is suddenly an issue, and why he even started a relationship with me if this is the way he feels. He says he loves me, but that he can't be with someone who's going to hell because I curse (not even that often), drink (socially), and have had sex before marriage. I told him that that was fine with me, because I can't be with anyone who is going to judge me based on some ridiculous standards. I also told him he's a hypocrite (like two days before this happened he was trying to get me to sext with him!!!), and obviously not as good a person as he seems to think he is, because he's judgmental and led me on for all this time. I also made sure to tell him that despite my religion (or lack thereof), I will always be a better person then he is, and reminded him of the thousands of hours of volunteer work I've done working with the elderly, doing Alzheimer's awareness, and rescuing animals, while he sat around and played video games and judged people. It takes more then going to church to make you a good person.

At one point he started trying to tell me about what the bible says, and I reminded him that I've actually read a large portion of the bible (I had a religion class where it was required reading), and that he's full of shit.

It's been a rough few days, because he's been my friend for years, so I feel like I lost a friend as well as a boyfriend. But on the other hand, I feel relieved to have that negativity and judgement out of my life for good.

So thank you all for your support and advice, and for caring. I don't really know what the protocol is on here for break-ups, but I'm assuming that since I'm no longer in an LDR, I'm not really supposed to post here anymore?? If that's the case, I'll miss you guys.

[WakeUpSusie]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but I think that you're ultimately better off. As an openminded Catholic, I think that he should be ashamed of not practicing what he preaches. Like you said, it takes a LOT more than just going to church to be a good person. It sounds like you are the more mature and selfless one, and if there is a hell, I'm pretty sure you're not going

And also, you don't need to leave. I'm not in a LDR anymore (we just closed the distance though) but I still post here. Don't go!

[rori795]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but I think that you're ultimately better off. As an openminded Catholic, I think that he should be ashamed of not practicing what he preaches. Like you said, it takes a LOT more than just going to church to be a good person. It sounds like you are the more mature and selfless one, and if there is a hell, I'm pretty sure you're not going

And also, you don't need to leave. I'm not in a LDR anymore (we just closed the distance though) but I still post here. Don't go!

Thank you so much.

I really do want to stick around, but I may disappear for a few days or weeks first. It's hard to read about other people's relationships when mine just ended. Not that I'm not happy for everyone, because I am... it's just hard right now.