Hello everybody!
I am super glad about having found this website that gives me the opportunity to share my story with people who might understand better than the average friend out there.
Last summer I bumped into this guy at a local club in Germany on the dance floor. We immediately (and probably drunkenly
) felt attracted to each other which resulted in us kissing on the dance floor without actually having spoken a word. He turned out to be a traveler from Canada and stayed in the city for a few more days. Something clicked right away between us, we seemed like identical personalities, saying the same things all the time, making the same jokes and called each other "doppelgänger" Of course, he left, and I figured - well, that was it. He kept traveling, we stayed in touch and spontaneously agreed on meeting up again in another European country just two weeks later. When he went to back to Canada, we looked at our lives from a rational perspective and agreed to, regardless of how much we enjoyed spending time together, to not position this as a relationship thing but were definitely going to stay in touch. And so we did.
A few months later (while I had moved to another European country for a 6month project) he decided to travel with friends to Europe again and asked whether he could visit. As we both were still single, had regular email contact, and my feelings had not changed we met up again and traveled together for a week. We did not quite have "the talk" but at some point it turned out that we both agreed that if we happened to live in the same place, we would definitely be dating.
Now he is back in Canada and has started seeing someone. I always thought that once he or I will "fall in love" with someone else (though I doubted that I could do that given my strong feelings for him) we would not be able to stay in touch. Now, however, he has basically invited me to come and visit him in the summer and pointed out several times that if he ended up single again he would always want to see me and would keep me posted on how his new girlfriend turns out to be. That does not sound like he really likes her a lot, does it?
And now here I am wondering: what is this? if i try to look at this objectively, we seem like travel buddies with benefits, not more, not less. but, what do i really want? I guess, I really want him. Strangely, I have no issue with him seeing this girl now and I appreciate the freedom to meet other people, too. I don't necessarily need him now, but I know I want him in the long run. Never before I stumbled into someone that I got along with so well from the very beginning. If we both picture our lives in 5, 10, 20 or 30 years I know we have an almost identical picture in mind. We share the same values, the same humor, the same ideas. We live on separate continents now but I have lived in Canada before for a little while and would have no issue with moving there a few years from now.
When I am asking myself what to do to give this a chance in the long run I do not really see an answer but waiting. Waiting and living my own life while simultaneously staying in touch and advancing our friendship. Is there a better recipe? Should I tell him this now, knowing that asking for a commitment across continents now would probably frighten him away?
Thanks for reading this guys!
I am super glad about having found this website that gives me the opportunity to share my story with people who might understand better than the average friend out there.
Last summer I bumped into this guy at a local club in Germany on the dance floor. We immediately (and probably drunkenly
) felt attracted to each other which resulted in us kissing on the dance floor without actually having spoken a word. He turned out to be a traveler from Canada and stayed in the city for a few more days. Something clicked right away between us, we seemed like identical personalities, saying the same things all the time, making the same jokes and called each other "doppelgänger" Of course, he left, and I figured - well, that was it. He kept traveling, we stayed in touch and spontaneously agreed on meeting up again in another European country just two weeks later. When he went to back to Canada, we looked at our lives from a rational perspective and agreed to, regardless of how much we enjoyed spending time together, to not position this as a relationship thing but were definitely going to stay in touch. And so we did. A few months later (while I had moved to another European country for a 6month project) he decided to travel with friends to Europe again and asked whether he could visit. As we both were still single, had regular email contact, and my feelings had not changed we met up again and traveled together for a week. We did not quite have "the talk" but at some point it turned out that we both agreed that if we happened to live in the same place, we would definitely be dating.
Now he is back in Canada and has started seeing someone. I always thought that once he or I will "fall in love" with someone else (though I doubted that I could do that given my strong feelings for him) we would not be able to stay in touch. Now, however, he has basically invited me to come and visit him in the summer and pointed out several times that if he ended up single again he would always want to see me and would keep me posted on how his new girlfriend turns out to be. That does not sound like he really likes her a lot, does it?
And now here I am wondering: what is this? if i try to look at this objectively, we seem like travel buddies with benefits, not more, not less. but, what do i really want? I guess, I really want him. Strangely, I have no issue with him seeing this girl now and I appreciate the freedom to meet other people, too. I don't necessarily need him now, but I know I want him in the long run. Never before I stumbled into someone that I got along with so well from the very beginning. If we both picture our lives in 5, 10, 20 or 30 years I know we have an almost identical picture in mind. We share the same values, the same humor, the same ideas. We live on separate continents now but I have lived in Canada before for a little while and would have no issue with moving there a few years from now.
When I am asking myself what to do to give this a chance in the long run I do not really see an answer but waiting. Waiting and living my own life while simultaneously staying in touch and advancing our friendship. Is there a better recipe? Should I tell him this now, knowing that asking for a commitment across continents now would probably frighten him away?
Thanks for reading this guys!
Comment