>.<

[Veiled_Dreamer]

So what do I do?

My parents were really judgemental when it came to me and my SO back in the beginning, when we weren’t even official. He’s too old, LDRs never work, what are you thinking, etc. My mom made fun of me in front of people and yada yada, it was horrible. So I just stopped talking about him, went through all of this crap to avoid lying but let her believe he and I didn’t talk anymore.

She was downstairs, my dad and brother were gone, so I figured I would webcam with him. I went downstairs for something and she goes, “So. Who are you talking to?” I try to be casually evasive and she forces it out of me, so I have to say his name, which she knows, and she asks if this happens often, I say sometimes. I don’t know what to do. If I tell her we’re together, she’ll freak out and won’t let me be alone with him EVER again. And she’s going to tell my dad, and they’re going to question me, and I don’t want to lie to them, I can’t lie to them. I know for a fact they’re going to really start questioning and suspecting things; it’s happened in the past, it’ll happen now.

I just don’t know what to do. Everything was going great, they thought I liked whatever boy they thought I liked and they weren’t worried about it. But now, I have no idea. What do I do? I'm kind of freaking out right now. =/

[Caitlin2009]

who cares what other people think, my girls parents often give her a hard time about it including saying things like "your head is in the clouds, how do you make it work out" ect, my parents dont like the fact that im bi sexual and in love and will marry another female, we do not let this stop us! Because parents dont always know what the hell they are talking about, especially when it comes to love or your future! Tell them the truth if they dont like it thats there problem!

[Veiled_Dreamer]

Well, I'm not 18 yet and I live with my parents. So where normally I would just take it, they have the power to say that they will cut Internet/phone/whatever if I don't agree never to speak to him again. That's what I'm worried about, that and the fact that he isn't the type of traditional, Southern, farmer boy type that my mom wants me to marry. =S Which, of course, makes my mother like him less.

[Caitlin2009]

well all i can tell ya is be a rebel and talk to him anyway and tell them you talk to him but your not dating, and when your 18 tell them a different story, but if this was me i would tell them the truth and couldnt careless what my parents said

[totalspiffage]

My dad would smash my computer if he found out about ANY of my online connections with people, let alone my SO, so I know how you feel!! Unfortunately, I'm kind of a nervous person, so I lie a lot to my dad. Once he caught me talking and I told him I was talking to my best friend who I rarely see. He bought it, luckily. I dunno. It's your life, and you know them better than most people- you'll know how they'd react.

[agentholli]

I am sorry..that has to be hard. I have never hidden my boyfriend to my parents. I dont' have to..i don't live with them, and they really have no say..but they like him. They realize how much i love him, and how much he means to me. He has talked to my mom a couple of times.

I can't imagine how it must feel to have to keep this from your parents. I don't have any advice but I wish you the best of luck!

[BJL_Sweetheart1109]

That has to be hard. My parents love the SO (i'm also 23 and just here until I'm done with college). I'm really close to my parents and we have a pretty open relationship. Have you tried to sit and have a calm conversation about it all. (I understand not everyone has relationships like this with their parents)

Tell them you want to talk to them about your SO. Tell them it's important that they listen to you and hear you.
Let them know how much he means to you and it's very important that they try to be understanding. You understand they may not approve of it, but you can't help the way you feel about him. Tell her, I haven't out right lied and siad we were no long talking, but I never let you know that we still talking either. Tell them their disapproval makes you feel like you must hide it from them and you hate doing that. You hate it because their your parents and your number one support system, the ones who will always be there for you. You respect them and hate feeling like you must hide your relationship from them.
Ask them if their is some kind of compromise you can come up with. You understand their concerns, but your feelings won't change. You can't see ending things with him because your feelings one another are too strong. But you also don't want to hide it from them any longer.
Tell them it's really hard caring so much for someone, but being so far away. It's important you have support from you families and friends and you would love for them to help you through the tough times.

Maybe if you put it to them like you want to share it with them and you want them to be part of it and you need them to be there for you.. If they see you're being open not trying to hide it.....
Idk my parents and I have a pretty close relationship. Hope it all works out.

[xsomanymilesx]

thats exactly the position i am in and it sucks. i dont know how old you are but im 17 in a few months and going to college. so i guess it will be a bit easier for be to rebel ''i can drive how can you treat me like this. i can get married and have a baby if i really wanted why are you doing this?'' ...but the best thing to do is try and explain how much its going to push you away from them if they stop you two talking. and how itl just lead to resentment, i know exactly how you feel because you can sit there til you are blue in the face shouting at them how you wont stop talking to him... but if they take your communication away you kinda cant do anything. you and your SO need to work out what you are both going to do if that happens, whihc is what me and my boyfriend have to do too... its a scary thought... very scary. i wish us both the best of luck and if you want to talk to me about anything like this then feel free to message me or whatever!

[Alisz]

I'm really sorry, but I can relate. I'm not sure if continuing to hide him from them would do any good since I think they'd be more upset if they found out. Maybe while it's out there and they know you can try to reason with them. You could ask them what it is that bothers them about him. If it's the fact that he's a stranger, maybe offer to tell them anything they want to know about him and if your boyfriend is up for it, set up a chat or telephone call. If they refuse, you could throw at them that wouldn't it be better if they knew about him and what was going on rather than you sneaking around behind their backs? Like try to get across to them that you're mature enough for a relationship like that and that they can trust your judgment.

[xsomanymilesx]

i agree with Alisz, we have to reason with our parents and not immediately say 'you cant stop me' or the whole 'yes i am , no your not' situation... because that will just make them think you are too immature for the reletionship. its best to reason with them; you're growing up fast and soon enough you will be making ALL your own decisions, worst comes to worst, you have to keep it a secret or cool down the reletionship... but not for too long, trust me, time flies.

[Sixx]

My dad would smash my computer if he found out about ANY of my online connections with people, let alone my SO, so I know how you feel!! Unfortunately, I'm kind of a nervous person, so I lie a lot to my dad. Once he caught me talking and I told him I was talking to my best friend who I rarely see. He bought it, luckily. I dunno. It's your life, and you know them better than most people- you'll know how they'd react.

I have the same problem at home.
And I'm not planning on telling them about my SO until I'm about to move out with him.

I know they'd freak out, cut all internet/phone/etc and watch me 24/7 to make sure I don't keep the contact with him..

[xsomanymilesx]

it isnt good, parents tryin to control us, they will ultimately just push us away its hard enough without them going at us.

[BJL_Sweetheart1109]

I think it's important that you talk to them. It's important that you stay calm though. I like the idea of phone call or video chat. Maybe if they see he's willing to "meet" they'd be a little more at ease about it.