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Have you met your SO's "people"

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    #16
    I think my situation is so different that this will be useless to you, but here goes.

    I didn't meet Obi for five years. In that time he did mention me to people, some people even knew he loved me (and I didn't >< ) but from what I can tell most of the response was negative. So, by the time I actually came to Canada to meet him people had either forgotten about me, didn't realise I was the same chick, or he hadn't told them. But, I did meet basically all his people on that first trip and the ones I didn't meet he seems to no longer be friends with. I even met his school mates/ went with him to college a few days.

    I would think it was odd if I was in a relationship for a year and hadn't met at least his best mate and closest family member. That would send up huge red flags for me.
    Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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      #17
      Being in a fairly new relationship my SO hasn't met any of my friends or family yet. It doesn't help that any times that we've seen each other I've gone to see her because she doesn't have her passport yet and as such can't cross the border into Canada. When that happens I have no issue introducing her to my friends. I have met her grandma, but only because my SO is living with her right now. As for the rest of her family, I don't know when it'll happen, and it's not a big deal really. I'll meet them when she's ready to introduce me.

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        #18
        In our relationship, at first I didn't feel comfortable telling my family, out of embarressment and the fact they'd tease me relentlessly at first. :/ But that gradually changed, I told my cousin, then my sister, then my dad, and mom was the last to be informed...SADLY she wasn't informed until he actually visited and stayed in our house. XDDD She actually saw us holding hands and said to me, "I thought you were just friends?" Of course me and my SO laughed our asses off. Even more so later when my grandma knew we were in a relationship before mom figured it out. XD Anyway, so he's met my parents, sister, and my mom's half of the family though that was only for a family dinner. As for his family, I've said hi to his mother and his dad a couple times but never really talked to them, I haven't met them in person and I haven't met or talked to any of his friends really and he's never talked to any of mine. I'm actually eager to meet the people in his life because I have a strong feeling I will fit in immediately and just be very comfortable with them all.

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          #19
          I already knew Chris' mother and his mother's boyfriend from being up there before we met (since my best friend lives on the property with her boyfriend). His parents, as well as his biological dad, love me, but I haven't met any of his friends. Likewise, he's met my dad, siblings and friends and they all like him just fine. Some guys, as has been said before, tend to keep their romantic life and social life separate, which I can understand.

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            #20
            well... i haven't met any of his family.. only some of his friends at his apartment while i was visiting him. Both of us still uncomfortable with telling our families about each other i think. But i did post his pictures for some of my friends on my FB...

            I think meeting family is a huge matters... hahah to even think about that made me really nervous.. i think he will feel the same too

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              #21
              Yes, I have met almost everyone in my SO's family, he's Brazilian and it's common in their culture for families to be close. I have his sisters and nephew added on Facebook and talk with his Mom everyday, even with the language barrier..I only speak English and Spanish fluently, but understand 50% of Portuguese and can respond nicely as well. For his friends, I've met most because he wanted me to, to see that I was something important and special to his life. It depends on the person, some people consider this more important than others, it doesn't mean they consider you any less important..if it's something that bothers you, consider talking with your SO

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                #22
                Again, thank you all for the responses! I am so grateful for the wealth of LDR knowledge I'm finding here! It just seems as if he keeps me/us in this little perfect box, separate from the stresses of "real" life ya know? It took him 10 months before he changed his FB status to in a relationship (that's a whole other story, lol) and I know he had told his friends about me way before, but to actually visit each other's homes seems like such a huge step for him. I am so ready for him to see my world and meet my friends/family and just make it real to us all. He's hesitant but he's also much more private than I am. So, for now, I'll continue to count my blessings with the time we do have together, and live in a suspended dream state. Reality can wait.

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                  #23
                  ive talked to a few of his friends, the one girl i would love to hang out with, she's so nice but that's all ont he internet >.>
                  However, if he comes to visit me, the plan was to offer him our guest bedroom, so my parents would clearly be meeting him XD (oh, and we were thinking a "Welcome to America! bonfire party to meet my friends (who he's talked to a ton of (and everyone loves him <3)) buuut, yeah, iduuno, im more afraid of him meeting my parents than he is (out of embarassment). I imagine it would be a weird notion? couldnt say if its normal for being 30, but it doesnt seem like it? hope things get worked out

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                    #24
                    Well my boyfriend and I were cd before we were ld and so his friends were my friends. It did take a while for me to meet his parents. I think he was nervous to introduce me. I would stay at his house (when he lived with them) and he would try to sneak me in and out. It was kind of awkward. But finally I met his parents who are sweethearts. I also met his two sisters who were both friendly (his younger sister more than his older sister who yelled at me and asked me why on earth I was letting him go to China).

                    But when it came to him meeting my parents he was terrified. I think that a lot of guys are scared to meet the parents, for the reason of the whole stereotypical protective father. My boyfriend's exact words when I asked him why it was such a big deal meeting them were: "Parent's don't care if there's a girl doing things to their son, but if there's a guy doing things to their daughter it's a whole different story. Parent's don't like that." So really, he was just terrified that they weren't going to like him.

                    ps. My mom and my dad both adore him.


                    我爱我的男朋友我。现在我们一起。

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