Jealous about the Past - HELP!

[xsomanymilesx]

archangel, i do the same things, i worry and worry and over think about EVERYTHING, we all have flaws and i guess this is one of ours... but i definitely think now you've said it back to me it might be an issue you have somewhere else thats making you feel like this and a bit insecure... i hope you get through this because i know what a not nice feeling it is being jelous , especially about someone you love so much.

[Zephii]

It'd only bring up trust issues if you word it in a way that is acusitory. If you broach the subject just as a way to know more about each other or for closure then I'm sure it's fine. Just be sure not to harp on the subject once it is bought to a close, and understand that there's no reason to feel hurt or angry if she reveils something from her past. She couldn't have known she'd eventually be with you, so don't act like she's betrayed you.

[Cathy]

I'm glad that I read your post. I worry that my SO feels that way sometimes. I've been dating since middle school and have had numerous boyfriends, whereas he's never even had a close female friend. (Three brothers and three all boy's schools). I always have to make the first move. I never bring up my exes and he never asks about them but I wonder if he secretly agonizes over it. I just constantly assure him that I've never felt this way about anyone else I've been with and that they can't even compare to him. I'm sure your SO feels the same way.

[folclor]

Gee, Chris, didn't know 'Everything will be fine' is such a hurtful statement. ;P (j/k, I know what you're talking about). But, yeah, I think that would be a good place to start. ^^ And, beyond that, like everyone else is saying/has said, it's the past and it's staying that way. You got nothing to worry about as long as you can fix what's bringing you down. ^^

[archangel]

For the most part these feelings have gone away... now it is just a matter of keeping them away.
Yeah I do not want to create trust issues since that will sometimes lead to a argument about 'why don't you trust me?' and they can sometimes turn ugly.

I guess we can all fall back onto the saying:
"Curiosity killed the Cat" proverb

Also I have been thinking of a way to delve into each other past without hurting each other... but well, I doubt that is possible. Every time we ask about the past we bring back memories which we wish we could have forgotten.
heh, on a similar note... just to let ya guys know, I only believe in one love and will not get into a relationship unless it is serious, committed and will last. Why should I get my heart broke in the search for love? Why not play my cards carefully and when true love happens to come my way... try not to fall off the chair onto the floor in disbelief. hehe... am I dreaming my love?

[Yin Yang]

Oh don't get me wrong. I don't think there's anything wrong in begin someone's first bf/gf. It's actually sweet and romantic.
But to me, it is important that my bf has some previous experience in relationships because in that way I feel like he knows what he wants.

[archangel]

Oh don't get me wrong. I don't think there's anything wrong in begin someone's first bf/gf. It's actually sweet and romantic.
But to me, it is important that my bf has some previous experience in relationships because in that way I feel like he knows what he wants.

To each their own

I guess a more poetic way of seeing this...
We could think of these questions like a container full of a liquid (maybe water, maybe something else) beside the fire of love. If we ask too much or in the wrong way, we risk splashing water onto the fire, dousing some of the fire and its embers. To get the fire roaring again... we would have to find a way to add more fuel to the fire by apologizing or making up for asking those questions. On the other hand... that liquid could be flammable, which would mean by asking and finding more out about each other your love with burn even stronger and hotter.

I'm simply going to put a lid on the container beside my fire, move it away and write 'do not touch' on it.

[Yin Yang]

Sounds like a smart thing to do!

Enjoy your relationship and your love.

[BJL_Sweetheart1109]

lol I'm with ArchAngel. We told one another the things we thought were important, real general information about past relationships and what worked/didn't work.....what ended things....ya know. Enough information to get to know a little about what made us what we are now, but nothing too specific. Like ArchAngel, I put the lid on the container, sealed it nice and tight, and placed it faaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrr away!