Picture issues?

[Frankenbat]

Sorry this is a bit long! I just felt details were important.

My girlfriend and I have been dating since December of 2009. I've recently turned 20 years old and she's 22. We have yet to meet in person due to a series of unfortunate events of my part and me having literally no money. We started out on Myspace/AIM where we were introduced by two mutual real life personal friends who were dating. Since then we've moved to Tumblr and Facebook and she used to write with me on LiveJournal but she stopped. Anyways, early in the beginning of our relationship she told me that she thought I was too attractive? and... made up her mind that I was an internet fake? Which is strange to me because we met through two friends who were dating. but anyways, I had two of my personal friends meet her in person thinking that would squash this strange thought, but it didn't. Since then she's seen over 100 pictures of me, I have approximately 76 tagged pictures on facebook with friends, she's seen countless videos of me and my friends, I've made "proof signs." and it just seems regardless of what I do, she's still telling her friends "oh I've met this great guy through so and so, but he could be an internet fake so I might dump him" or "oh, this is my imaginary boyfriend" that hurts a lot. I've tried to webcam with her, we both made Oovoo accounts, Skype, etc., but at the moment I'm... I guess homeless, would be the right term? and the only way I can cam with her is if I go to a clients house that I'm close to (I do freelance art to get home to her) but whenever I can cam with her she can't and when I can't go over to his house to cam because of our 3 hour time difference she has a fit and starts a fight and I'm rather passive so I just let her say what she needs to say, regardless of how hurtful, then she won't talk to me for a day or two afterwards and it's effecting me in such a way that now I am afraid to upload pictures to my facebook and Tumblr, because whenever I do, she comments on it, but then texts me freaking out all pissed off. Her friends want to kick my ass when i make it home to see her because of the things she says about me, one guy even wanted to trace my ip address?! I just don't know what to do... my friends don't like her because of that reason and multiple others but i don't care... I feel if they were really friends they would stick by my regardless of my decision. Does anyone else have a problem like this though? Can anyone offer advice? This issue is making me feel like she may not love me like she says she does, because how can she love me, if she doesn't even believe I even exist...

[Zephii]

Mate she sounds like a bitch that you should run far away from! But I know that's not helpful, so let me try to be helpful. I know for months I didn't really think of Obi as a real person. It was hard for me to grasp that the people on the other side of the computer are real. I'm not wording this very well. It was hard for my brain to understand that the text on my screen came from the guy in the picture. But, it certainly didn't last half as long as it is for her.

I think the thing you need to address is how disrespectful she is to you. That's not ok. At all. No matter what. And you need to not put up with it, because eventually you'll resent her and your relationship will fall apart.

I also think you don't need to prove yourself any more. Have a serious talk with her if you haven't already - what's her reason she thinks you're fake? Just that you're good looking? If that's it, it's stupid, frankly. You've done what you can to show her otherwise. Tell her if she keeps treating you like shit you're not going to put up with it.

What do you get out of this relationship that makes it worth it for you?

[Yaaamiii]

Zephii worded it nicely. You shouldn't put up with that kind of thing, someone who loves you wouldn't disrespect you in that way. I too think you should have a really serious talk with her...if she starts to get mad at you for anything, I would warn her before that you will stop talking until she calms down. Shes 22, not 2.

[Frankenbat]

I asked her why she thought I was fake and she said "because you're so good looking" and that was it and then got all upset with me because I asked her and cried and yelled and didn't talk to me for a few days
it's stressful, because I'm like... obsessing over what I can do to prove to her I'm the person in my pictures and videos. for our 1 year anniversary I thought writing her a song would be a good idea since I don't have the funds to fly to see her, I'm very musically inclined, and wrote and recorded her a song and even included a message for her so she couldn't doubt it.
My friend at the time said that she turned it off halfway through and was like "how do I know that's him"
The lack of trust on her part is really putting a dent in our relationship. I trust her with all of my heart, but it's not even trust, it's like... I love her so much and I know that she would never lie to me like that... I just don't understand why she doesn't feel like that. :/

I've made almost enough money to fly out to see her in CA... I'm about to give up a job opportunity making art for big people in NY. I'll be going home with about 100 dollars to my name and nowhere to stay, and I'd do that to be with her. I just want to know that it's the right decision.

[Zephii]

Personally I don't think it is. She's 22! If she doesn't believe you're real she can get off her bum and come to you and prove it to herself. But, with that said, it'd be one way to solve the issue for good.

[bluishskin]

Because you're so good looking? That is an utter nonsense.
I think it's time for you to stop being passive. Sometimes it's necessary for us to be firm when we are dealing with someone like her. Tell her that you are serious about what you feel for her but if she keeps treating you disrespectfully, perhaps you should start considering whether it's worth to keep this relationship going or not. You've done what you needed to do, but it is unfair that you've been getting this kind of treatment. Basically, she doesn't appreciate what you've been doing for her. I'm sorry for sounding so negative about her, but you should really sort this out for the sake of your wellbeing. You sound like a very sincere person and I think you deserve someone a lot better than her.
Don't give up anything yet for her. Think about this really carefully before you end up regretting giving up a lot of things for someone who isn't treating you right.
Good luck!

[kteire]

I don't think it's the right decision, not only because of the way she's treating you, but because you need to worry about taking care of yourself before you worry about appeasing her. You've said you're homeless and almost have enough money to fly to see her, but how will you get back to where you live? You need that money to better your situation, and you can't pass up a possible job for someone who's not putting in any effort.

[WakeUpSusie]

I won't comment too much other than to say that she is NOT treating you with the love and respect that you deserve. You shouldn't be scared to post pictures on Facebook because she'll freak out for God's sake. That is utterly absurd and ultimately kind of crazy on her part.

[snow_girl]

I

I've made almost enough money to fly out to see her in CA... I'm about to give up a job opportunity making art for big people in NY. I'll be going home with about 100 dollars to my name and nowhere to stay, and I'd do that to be with her. I just want to know that it's the right decision.

You are about to give up a good job opportunity to go fly out to a girl that doesn't think you are who you say you are!?!?!!?! Do you see how absurd that sounds? You end up spending all that money to go out there and she ends up not wanting to meet you because you are not who you say you are. Isn't that going to be a kick in the wallet.

[Yaaamiii]

Yah, I think it would be a very poor decision on your part. I might be thinking too deeply into this, but it almost sounds like she's manipulating your emotions. Its not ok for her to treat you this way, and you need to start standing up for yourself.

[Frankenbat]

I think you all are right...
I will do my best to talk to her about it again. I was planning on having a date with her soon so maybe calmly after our date I will discuss this issue with her?
It's all just so... crazy >< I've never been thought to be a fake before until I started dating her. and I try to climb into her head and think like she does and I try to rationalize it with we haven't met yet, but even that, after all of the proof that there is that i exist, I just don't understand and the fact that we have been together this long... My brain cannot process her thinking I'm fake after all that we've been through. I can see the first month or so being a little skeptical as you get to know the person, but over a year and after all that I have done to show her I am me? :/ My brain cannot process that.

and yeah... I've been thinking about the job thing a lot. The rational thing to do would be to take the job, like all of you said, I do need to consider my well-being... and consider it I shall haha.

Thank you all for taking the time to answer this. I have like no one to talk to haha >< so it really means a lot <3

[WithAllMyHeart]

Stay and take the job. She's old enough to know better. WAY too old enough to know better. Sorry to say, but if she sees you as not real, she's probably likely to cheat.

[Tori101010]

I dont see God but i believe he is real... wen i was a little girl i didnt see santa but i thought he was real... i mean COME ON.. she needs to trust u... i mean u trust her that she is real, why cant she trust u? im sorry, but it seems lile she is just finding an escuse to b mad at you... i understand you love her though, so my advice is to tlk to her, say that u trust her that shes not fake, tell her u would even b willing to webcam with her just to show ur real, i mean if u were fake the last thing u would b doing is suggesting webcam.... and if she doesnt stop yelling at u and throwing many little fits, then just ignore her, lile she does to u... show her how it hurts to b ignored.. and if she loved u then she will trust u and wont breakup with u no matter wat!

[WithAllMyHeart]

It's almost like someone saying JOHNNY DEPP ISN'T REAL HE'S TOO ATTRACTIVE I HAVE NEVER MET HIM THEREFORE HE ISN'T REAL.

That's a better metaphor. You see how this is a problem?

[lucybelle]

Agree with the above posts. Don't spend your hard earned money on this chick. She's hateful and immature. If she won't believe you're "real" and won't chip in for you to come visit so you don't lose all your money, then she's just not worth it. Why do you like her so much if all she says is hurtful things? You really need to think about this relationship.