Picture issues?

[ClipitsWings]

Dude, it sounds like it would be a lot better for you to take this job that you have lined up, and wait till you're financially secure until you try to prove something to this chick.
I dont want to be mean, but you've been going out over a year, she's seen pictures, videos, and you mention that you directly had messages in them for her? that's rediculous, especially since mutual friends introduced you. all of that should certify your existence =_= i dont get how she could date you for a year if she doesnt think you're real, and i don't want to be depressing but her feelings really are questionable with that level of skepticism
also, why does she freakout when you post pics on facebook/tumblr? more accusations that they're fake? what?
idk, you could try a last ditch effort sort of thing, make a video directly talking to her from the start, detailed, if you have anything like pictures or an object that she's already seen show them to the camera. ask her how you could have so much consistency and NOT be a real person?
why is she saying bad things about you to her friends either? this whole thing seems like a bad situation. don't let her ruin your life, like i said, its probably in your best interest to get financially secure first. if she doesnt trust you exist, i wouldnt trust that she's worth what youre doing

[Frankenbat]

Thank you all so much. I feel a lot less stressed now. <3
I think I am going to wait until I am a little more financially secure.
this is an issue that has been eating at me since day one and your feedback has really helped me a lot.
A serious talk is in order... a video, a webcam proposal, but... I think that after that, if she still questions me... "/
Thank you again <3 you have no idea how much this has all helped me.
x

[Yaaamiii]

I mean, does she think you're fake only because of your looks? Or does she think you're fake because she doesn't think that you're who you say you are? As in, if you've told her you're a...musician for example, does she not believe you? That kind of thing.

[pytsip]

I'm going to go back to your original post and mention that usually friends are your best advisors when it comes to relaitonships, and unfortunately those of us who are in bad ones tend to say exactly what you said "if they were really my friends they would support my decisions" the thing is, they really are your friends and they don't want you to make bad decisions. We tend to brush off the things that our friends say about us making bad decisions because subconsciously we know that they're right. Now, your friends listen to you day in and day out about your relationship with this girl. Although you have only known us here at LFAD for less than a month, you seem to trust our opinions (which I am sure are similar to your friends based on what you have told us) more than you trust theirs. I just want to say this before i get into the real issue, because don't ever doubt your friends, I have made mistakes and have done that and it resulted in me being in a horrible relationship without any friends to turn to when I broke it off because I had disregarded them and thought exactly as you did, that they must not have been my friends because they couldn't support my decision to be with this guy.

Ok, with that being said, from what you're saying, this relationship is not a healthy one. You're more focused on trying to prove to this girl that you're real when she obviously has a mental block, whether it's purposefully or not, and doesn't want to accept the idea that you are real. As a 22 year old, I tend to think that her mental block is completely voluntary, for whatever reason she may have. The problem is, you shouldn't have to focus on this at all. If she's in a relationship with you, but yet says all the time that she doesn't think your real, it almost sounds like she's using you. Maybe she doesn't want other men to think that she's single, maybe she wants people to think she has an attractive boyfriend, or maybe she's trying to get back at an ex, but the whole thing is sketchy to me. You may view this as a loving relationship, but I can almost guarantee you that if she truly loved you as much as you love her, she would trust you, there would be no doubt in her mind that you were real. You can't date someone if you don't think they're real, that's just common sense.

I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but this is my two cents, and I hope you take it, because I would hate to see you get hurt or make a bad decision, like not taking that job offer, because of a girl who doesn't even think that you're real.

[Frankenbat]

She thinks I'm fake because of my looks, which I guess technically that also falls under her not thinking I am who I say I am lol. Like, she thinks I'm too attractive to be a real person? The band I played in for instance, we had a myspace page, tons of views and plays, live pictures for days, Merch, people wearing said merch, tons of people commenting on how awesome of a show we had or that they couldn't wait to see us perform again, and she accused the vocalist of making up a fake band and a fake tour and a bunch of fake people to comment on the page?! She'd call the venues we were going to play at to make sure we were really playing there, she would ask me 'how long until we're in this city" to time it all out with mileage and such, it was crazy. O_o
she's looked up my phone number, her dads a cop and she wanted him to look me up in their computer systems... like... I just don't know.
She told me she thinks I'm too attractive to be a real person, and proof signs can be easily photoshoped, videos can be faked I could of stolen them from someone else, I could of made a bunch of fake accounts and tagged myself in those pictures and added random people on those accounts so they seem real, my friends who have made her proof signs could of stolen them from someone else, my two friends that she met in person could of lied about knowing me, just all of this crazy stuff. O.o I don't understand her thought process... it's like anything that says I'm real, she finds a way to question it... someone else could of sang and wrote that song I recorded for her for our 1 year anniversary and the pieces of the song I sent her in an attempt to prove that I wrote it could of been stolen. just.. gah, someone else could of said that message or I could of stolen it from someone, even though my voice sounds exactly like it does in the song, and the videos, and the bands music. I just... I don't understand...
All of my pictures are me, same person. Same person in my videos, same person in the live videos, same person in my tagged pictures, they are all me.
I feel like... maybe she wants me to be fake? :/ I don't know.

[Yaaamiii]

Ok, then there is something seriously wrong with her. I don't mean that to come off as harsh or rude, I'm sorry if it did. But obviously something isn't right here. And like pytsip said, this isn't healthy. I think you should stop trying to prove yourself. Maybe she's had a bad experience with someone on the internet and isn't telling you. I don't know...but seriously. You really need to have one big talk with her because this is affecting you as well. But its up to you and how long you think you should live with that kind of relationship. There must be some root to this problem that you don't know of? Maybe?

[snow_girl]

She told me she thinks I'm too attractive to be a real person, and proof signs can be easily photoshoped, videos can be faked I could of stolen them from someone else, I could of made a bunch of fake accounts and tagged myself in those pictures and added random people on those accounts so they seem real, my friends who have made her proof signs could of stolen them from someone else, my two friends that she met in person could of lied about knowing me, just all of this crazy stuff. O.o I don't understand her thought process... it's like anything that says I'm real, she finds a way to question it... someone else could of sang and wrote that song I recorded for her for our 1 year anniversary and the pieces of the song I sent her in an attempt to prove that I wrote it could of been stolen. just.. gah, someone else could of said that message or I could of stolen it from someone, even though my voice sounds exactly like it does in the song, and the videos, and the bands music. I just... I don't understand...
All of my pictures are me, same person. Same person in my videos, same person in the live videos, same person in my tagged pictures, they are all me.
I feel like... maybe she wants me to be fake? :/ I don't know. but this is what I deal with .__.

Reread what your just wrote. Do you see how crazy she sounds?? You are wasting your time with someone that clearly doesn't want to be with you, I know that sounds strange but why else wouldn't she accept you? How can it be a relationship if you don't have a basic foundation of trust??? I think someone asked this earlier, but what are you getting out of this relationship that is making you stay?

[Frankenbat]

@pytsip - My friends never gave advice they would be like "break up with her" and then refuse to be my friend until I did. >< which, I guess, I can sort of understand? but if they were in my place I wouldn't walk away from them. but I totally see what you mean.

and yeah... a relationship is nothing without trust and I guess I'm trying so hard to make there be trust. She drives me insane... absolutely crazy haha. but I'm having a bit of a head/heart issue here. My head is saying there is something horribly wrong here and my heart is trying to fix it. It's like I want to prove it to her and have her love me like I love her, but I'm starting to really realize it might be a loss cause. I love her so deeply and I want her to love and care about me like I care about her. and I'm trying so hard to make that happen... but I'm starting to accept that it may not happen.
It all sounds crazy because it is crazy. I don't know... I guess I just have this foolish hope that things could change and be different and this issue will go away.

I will have a talk with her and let you guys know how that went. I hope things can change and we can have a semi-"normal" relationship... but if not I'm ready to accept it. Because you all are right, it's not exactly healthy. It's not healthy how she thinks, it's not healthy for me to be pushing so hard, it's not healthy for me to feel like this, it's bad all around.

I think saying it was a big eye-opener and I feel a lot less guilty. For a while I sort of blamed myself for it, but I see that it's completely not my fault.
Thank you <3

[snow_girl]

You say you want to fix it, but its been one whole year already!!! If after 12 months she hasn't changed, chances are she isn't going to. I know its hard cause you have invested feelings, but your are simply wasting your time.

[WithAllMyHeart]

Yeah, it's definitely a lost cause. She's crazy! Like, she probably has a mental disorder. (and I say this as a person with a few of them.) She has a problem with paranoia.

Let it go. Stay and take the job. She's not putting anything in this relationship. Tell her to get help, but break it off.

[pytsip]

@pytsip - My friends never gave advice they would be like "break up with her" and then refuse to be my friend until I did. >< which, I guess, I can sort of understand? but if they were in my place I wouldn't walk away from them. but I totally see what you mean.

It's called tough love, you said later on in that post that you're having a battle between your heart and your head, and your friends see that, but it's almost like an addiction, they know what's best for you because they see it without the cloudiness of actually loving her and they're almost treating it as though it's an intervention. They want the best for you because they're your friends, but sometimes when our hearts involved we just can't rationalize things properly, and we hear people saying "it's bad, get out of it, break up, stop" but we ignore it, sometimes the only way that it even phases us is when we're threatened with losing something else. I can tell you, from being an outsider looking in, that she is no good for you and she is not someone to loose friends or family over because i am almost certain that you will regret it.

[Anikinz]

lol first i wanna say that youve been with your SO for a day longer than me

but oh wow...
not sure what to say.. but why are you even with her?
to me she actually doesnt sound completely mentaly normal lol
i dont think you should be being worried about posting pictures and trying to make her love you but you should really start thinking whether you should really be with her.
i dont want to be a downer and say the relationship is not healthy from what you said at all but it is..:/
there always is a chance that if you break up with her on go on a break and tell her that youre sick of all this drama shes making she might do a little thinking and realize how stupid shes being.. no offance
i dont know.. is there something youre not saying that might have made her so paranoid?

[Frankenbat]

@Ankinz- I wish there was something so it would be a little more understandable for me. I could be like 'oh this happened and that's why she feels this way' but there honestly hasn't been anything the least bit shady going on. There is seriously no reason for her to feel like this. Which makes it more difficult for me to understand.
The break sounds like a good idea. Maybe she would adjust her mindset.
@pytsip- I can understand that. That actually makes me feel better about my friends haha. Thank you. You're right...

[lucybelle]

Don't try to work things out or talk to her. Run away. Now.

[WithAllMyHeart]

I don't think her mindset will change after this long. I'm telling you, she needs professional help. You being there will make things worse.