BREAK UP

[aggie]

Okay, so seems like my travel all the way from Poland to Australia, didn't quite work the way i hoped, but I still think it's for the best.
We have decided to end it, because there seems to be no end to the distance at the moment and we are both young (im 20, he's 22), we still need to invest in ourselves and shape our personalities.
He cannot afford to move either to UK, nor USA (even though he said that if he manages to save pennies up, he will travel to live with me)... and I am still doing my Uni degree, and going to Houston for 2 years in September. So we have been in a LDR for 2 years already and it would only be half way through... which with only one visit a year and a horrible, horrible time difference, we figured we could not do it. I had major trust issues and insecurities, and he needs touch and 'being there'.

We will probably remain friends for a while too, because he was not only my SO, but also my best friend. And I was his.

I asked him to cuddle me to sleep for the last time, he said it wasn't the best idea in the current situation. Which is fair enough, and I do understand that now (after 2 hours).

And he also said that he doesn't believe in having just this ONE person in the world to be the perfect match, that he fell in love before... and that he had fun times.. and this is what he wants to remember from our relationship too. So that didn't make me feel special, but he apologised basically straight away.

The hardest thing to do after the talk? To walk out his door... I didn't want to do that, he didnt want to let me go. This was horrible. I hate the fact that he lost faith in LDRs ... that he didnt like the virtual thing.

And I don't like breaking up with someone for reasons as 'we can't be together'... Id rather hear 'i dont want to be with you or i dont love you'


So yeah. Thank you guys for all your support. Hope all your LDRs stay strong.
I will probably be visiting still because I love happy stories.

xox

[xsomanymilesx]

i'm so sorry i hope you are okay, not that saying that would help because obviously you're not okay, keep strong xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Caitlin2009]

awwww honey *huggles tight* well things happen for a reason, i know thats not much of comfort to you now but maybe you were meant to be together just at a different time or he was meant to teach you about true love, whatever the reason you'll be ok if you need to talk were here for you

[Rach321]

I am so sorry Aggie. I'm happy that it sounds like the relationship (as it is now) ended in a respectful way. I agree, it's harderto accept a breakup when there is still love present but circumstances don't allow you to be together, but in the end I think it's better for your heart. Somehow it's less painful in terms of feeling like you've invested so much in someone else for nothing or that your total perception was wrong and you believed he loved you but really didn't. (Hope that makes sense.)

It will take time, but it does seem like you both care about each other enough to develop a friendship after this. And though it probably did come out wrong on his part, I do believe that we all may have several "true loves." It doesn't mean that the first or second is any less special or that you've loved that person less. It's just that sometimes our lives don't allow us to be with them forever. Sometimes we have to wait awhile to find the person that we are really meant to spend our lives with. Take care, and feel free to come back anytime.

And Houston! That's exciting! Let us in the U.S. know if you need any help with getting settled here.

[Yin Yang]

Sorry to hear that aggie!
Breakups are hard, but it's good that you guys are still continuing your friendship.
We're all here for you if you need to talk.

[Sixx]

Oh, I'm so sorry be strong! *hugs*

[agentholli]

I am sorry to hear that also. But it does sound like it was for the best. I wish you happiness!

[Mio]

Sorry girl! Lots of hugs and love to you!

[BJL_Sweetheart1109]

I'm sorry. It's got to be really hard. HUGS!

[hmd2010]

I'm so sorry. Hugs.

[lunamea]

Aggie, I'm soo sorry to hear this! I've been hoping that you can work it out somehow, especially after reading your story about you meeting. I don't know if "I don't love you anymore" would be less painful than this, but it really seems like you'll stay good friends and maybe you end up in the same country one day. I know you've been debating about whether to go see him or not and I'm glad that you don't regret having gone there. Two years is a long time and every relationship that lasts that long deserves a respectful ending.
I wish you all the best for the future and definitely hope you stick around!

[Veiled_Dreamer]

Aww, I'm so sorry. =( I followed your story from the very beginning, even if I didn't post, and I know how hard you tried and how bad you wanted this. And now, to find out that he does still love you but that circumstances won't allow him to act on it, in his opinion... I feel for you. I don't know if it would be less painful for him just to say "I don't love you anymore". Then it would feel like he didn't appreciate your efforts at making up and that you had tried so hard for nothing. But you didn't get nothing out of this. (And that's not a double negative! Haha.) You got something. You got the opportunity for a great friendship later, like Luna said, and a great relationship that ended amicably. It didn't turn out like you had planned, but this is better than not knowing where exactly you stand and will stand in the future. Head up. =] You did your best, that's all you can ask from yourself. Cheers, good luck, and please come back soon.

[aggie]

Thank you girls for all your support.
Especially lunamea you always were there for me! Thank you so much!

I just ... Well... Im a romantic person .... so I don't understand how a person loving someone can be unable to sacrifice two years of their life. especially when they are willing to sacrifice all of theirs.
I think what hurts the most is that he just doesn't want to give it another chance.... and even though last night i thought it was OUR decision, tonight i am not so sure.
I just wish I could move here already! Because I don't know if I want to put my life on hold and be waiting for something that may or may not happen.

Love can be painful, but I am really happy to see other couples being able to work on it... no matter how LONG it takes.

Im getting better... My breaks in crying extended to 30 minutes... I just don't want to hurt, want to move on and be happy about the great memories we made already.

[lunamea]

Thank you girls for all your support.
Especially lunamea you always were there for me! Thank you so much!

Aww, you're so welcome, Aggie! I just wish it had turned out differently...

I know that feeling of thinking it's the best/your common decision and then going back and thinking "do I really want this?". Maybe at one point you are really sure you can't do this anymore, but then, when the SO wants to call it quits, you realize you don't want it to end, after all. I don't know how much that is the mind fooling us or a self-protecting mechanism, because I think that, no matter how exactly it ends, it's usually still painful for both. And then there are times when you look at other couples and what they've been through and your problems seems comparatively small and don't warrant a break-up... but I guess if instances of you thinking "I can't do this anymore" accumulate, it is probably time to think about whether it's not better to move on. I hope you can move on, at least for the time being, and don't put your life on hold. It's gonna take time, though, so give yourself that time. *hugs*

[aggie]

I just keep repeating to myself, that it will be for the best.... (and no, i don't believe that yet). And i can't see myself getting back with someone who let me go once...... but i also can't see myself with anyone else at the moment. I try to remember all the situations, when i was pretty sure i didn't want to do this any more... and funnily enough, i am struggling... it just seems, like even though he didnt give me the attention i needed lately, everything was perfect.

I don't think you can ever move on from that first real love, and it somehow is ... like it was... at least at the moment. because i never felt that crushed after a break up as i do now.
A little update, if you wish... while i am still here... we talk. we haven't seen each other since (i only drove past his work couple of times), but we text. and we even did an msn chat last night.
which was weird, because we are more open to each other now, than we were last week. we are also gonna watch movies on sunday or monday and have an afternoon for ourselves. some may say its too soon, and i probably will end up crying... but he did say he's strong enough to be my friend now and cheer me up. what do you guys think?

i was fine all week... i mean .. till friday, and then i got back to his hometown (it was my host-sister birthday so i had to)... and things just don't feel right.... I miss him and I want him, but at the same time I don't ? It makes me angry that he's going to a 21st tonight without me...... first party in a while that we are officially not together...... he also untagged himself and deleted majority of his photos on facebook (yes, i know... its facebook, but still), including all of ours! so i said to him 'hey...so thats how it is.. you make it look like a bad as break up and delete all our photos...' to which he said that i am being a bitch about it and that i try to make us hate each other...
well, he still has the photos with his ex-best-female-friend ? i know, i dont have a right to make him do anything... but it still hurt a little.

So yeah... that's how the things are now. Seems to me it's all pretty much messed up. So any clearing point of views will be appreciated.


also, i found out i will be able to move here permanently as soon as i finish my degree in houston, which will be around this time in 2012. just two years away! ;D