We just can't think of things to say. :P

[jennyjellybeans]

Me and my SO have hit a rut, the same one of having absolutely nothing to say to each other. We can't think of things and we usually just end up staring at each other or doing other things while on webcam. And it really bothers me...I've heard that spending time apart can make it easier to gather things to talk about but the fact is I can't deal with that. I NEED to be on webcam with him everyday or else I get really upset and lonely.

This isn't because we have bad communication or anything, its just the fact that we've reached the point where we know each other so well that there's nothing left to really talk about. To quote my SO, "We know each other better than people I know who have been married for 20 years."

My SO suggested that we do webcam still, and if we honestly run out of things to say, we stop, both go do something we really want done or enjoy, and then call each other back after and see if we have anything to talk about then or we just call each other back to say goodnight. Is that a good idea?

I'm also wondering how you all deal with this, especially members that are now CD with their SO's, you had to have had moments like this in your relationships right? How did it all end up working out, your relationship I mean? I still have at least a good 2+ years before I ever am CD with my SO...

I guess I've been worried about being "too boring" to him. He said quite honestly that he did get bored sometimes and that's always made me a tad scared about well...being boring to the point of a breakup. Is it something other people in LDR's experience??

[mllebamako]

Don't worry! This is totally normal...for LD or CD. Maybe you guys are talking too much? I know you want to see him everyday but maybe you guys could just talk for 15-30 minutes a day.

When we were still LD (and right now because I'm visiting my family in the US), we skyped 30 minutes everyday. Some days, the time barely seemed like enough and we had a billion things to talk about. Some days, we felt like we had said all we could say in the first 10 minutes.

Conversations don't have to always be deep or fascinating or romantic either. Mostly we just talk about what we did that day, what we ate, a funny thing that happened, etc.

Hope this helped calm your worries! I assure you, it's totally normal.

[Zapookie]

Well you guys don't have to talk about each other... you can do activities together while you webcam as well. You could try playing games online. Or another thing I used to do was go on StumbleUpon, and show him any random sites I found that were interesting/funny. There's a million things you can do. Just enjoy each others time together, it doesn't always have to be boring!

Also, there's never nothing to talk about! Even couples who HAVE been together for 20 years still enjoy each others conversation even if it's about the most random things that most people would find boring :P

[bluishskin]

Both my SO and I are sometimes afraid of being boring to each other and that's normal. Sometimes when we're online, with or without cam, we don't have any idea what else to talk about (let's say we've covered the common topic like what we did today, what we ate, any news, etc.). What we often do is keep the cam on but at the same time do other things, for example I might do some marking while he's surfing the web. It's pretty fun for us to watch each other do other things, and then in the middle of that something to talk about can come up.
On the other hand, we don't have to always have things to talk about. When that happens and nothing else we are doing at the same time, we just stop and we are all right with that. We stop and then get on with whatever we want/have to do. Then if we have time, we can always come back online and perhaps there will be things to talk about.
Even while I'm typing this post, I'm being with my SO and he's browsing the internet. Not really talking at the moment and we're okay with that. Once in a while one of us would come up with something then start talking again.
So don't worry. It's normal.

[kiara_silver]

I have had these periods in my relationship as well, i think its normal now. Before i would get worried am i to boring or dull, and id try to come up with a ton of things to talk about. But just chill sometimes there really isnt much to talk about. But then life picks up again you go somewhere fun and can share that or something intrests you and you can talk bout that. Or just be flirty again do something together like watch a movie, or just enjoy the quiet time together while doing your own thing online. For me we had periods like this but they never last long , so i hope you feel better and go back to interacting again soon

[Piglet-]

Do not distress yourself over such a silly rut Mrs.JennyJellbeans, this is common in all relationships, long or short distance.
Try finding something to do together.
Go read random things on the internet, watch and share youtube videos, or online shop (browse).
If you are both into anime, Hulu is a decent website.
There are plenty of things to do together my friend, you just have to explore them.

[Zephii]

Don't fear!

One of the easiest ways to have something to talk about it to read the newspaper or something each day. you can even just get a newsfeed that goes to your phone. Talking over macro events in the world will teach you a lot about each other (even if you think you already know it all).

When we didn't have anything to talk about we generally seduced each other, or one of us would read to the other. We also spent a lot of time online together but doing things seperatly, because when you're living with someone, they are there with you but you're not always doing things together or talking - so that was the closest thing to "normal" we could achieve. I think it's healthy to be able to be together without having the need to fill the silences.

These days we get bored easier and have to put in a bigger effort, but that's ok too. Life isn't exciting all the time.