It's over, he broke up with me

[Zsgirl]

So yeah just like that we're over. he broke up wit me and left me so confused. at first he said the he wasnt "built" for ld and he was breaking up with me and i got really upset and then he just got plain nasty and then bam! that was it, he told me not to contact him again. i cant stop thinking about it because i still dont know the truth and being single sucks elephant penis!!!

[iamangel]

I know it really hurts and i'm so sorry for that. We didn't know his reason but You deserve an explanation. Message him and ask what do you want to ask if he didn't message you back. He really don't want to explain it to you... I'm so sorry. Be strong and I believe that You will be better in no time...

[hxcbreakdance]

I agree, you should at least be able to talk with him about it and see if he will explain it all to you, he owes you that much.

[Rugger]

He made it clear he didn't want to talk to you. Leave him alone for awhile. Let yourself heal , get in a better state of mind. Someone who pulled what he pulled doesn't deserve the time of day.

[Kerry]

I'm sorry that you're going thru this. give him a little time and maybe he'll give you an explanation. keep in mind however that you might never know why he broke things off. good luck!

[Riyko]

I agree with Rugger, he said do not contact him again, it means he doesn't want you to talk to him again, even though you don't know why he broke up with you, you need to respect his wishes and not contact him, if he wants to let you know why he did it he will otherwise it's best to move on and forget all about him.

[jiynx]

I wouldn't say that you need to "respect his wishes". But honestly, like what Rugged said, he's kind of a penis for telling you that and not giving a reason in the first place. Step back, cool off, and really do things that you really want to do. Take a long bath, go hiking, draw, get a manicure, whatever your fancy. You don't need someone in your life who's going to treat you like that.

I'm so sorry that this happened. My sympathies and we're all here for you. Stay strong, girlie!!

[Rosser]

I'm deeply sorry that he did that to you. As mentioned above, you really should just forget about him. Its his loss for leaving you, and you deserve better than someone who could hurt you that way. I hope you are able to somehow find closure in everything and move on.

Best wishes sweetheart!!

[solarkissed]

Okay, I know everyone is saying to just move on, leave him alone, don't message him, etc. That's so much easier said then done. I imagined myself in your shoes and imagined what I'd do. It's never good to keep things inside...so, I'd write an email. Get everything out that you're feeling. Let him know that you're prepared to move on, but that you thought he'd be man enough to provide an explanation, that he's acting immature, etc. etc. Hit send, or don't. The point is to get it all out. If you do send it, do NOT expect a response and treat it as your closure (I'd even end the email by saying goodbye, wish you well in future, etc.). I know how I am - I can't sleep, I can't focus on work, I can't do things for myself if I'm so consumed with "over-thinking things" .. so, it helps to get your thoughts out in an email, that way they're stored there and not in your head.

[nurseliberty]

This happened to me a while back. It was my first serious dating after my divorce. He was recently divorced and that was MY mistake for doing that. However, we were friends first, met at church, and I just listened a lot and helped him with his son, who was being really treated badly by his mother. The son was very confused.

Anyway, we dated seriously for a year. In that time, towards the end of the year, he asked to meet my kids. I told him I wanted to wait a bit longer, so it was at LEAST a year of dating seriously. There's always time, imo for that. And you can't take it back. So anyway, in the meantime, I paid for his house to be revamped, updated, etc since he ex left. Not a lot, but several hundred dollars. Then I bought him a 2,000 dollar plasma TV for his birthday. A couple weeks later, was our planned meeting date for the kids. I went over to see him on a Friday, and the kids meet was scheduled for Sunday. He said he had "something to do" Saturday night and couldn't contact me or call or anything. Sunday am, I was waiting for a time for him to call to come over with kids. He broke up with me, saying his "Important family thing on Saturday" was actually him screwing another girl, whom he suddenly decided was the "soul mate".

I was crushed. Seriously, crushed. But, I realized I ignored a few red flags. Which is why I'm so paranoid about the red flags with my current BF. He wanted to still be my friend, and didn't want me to cancel him on Facebook. Well, I knew that was just so he could check up on me, so I did the whole "no contact" thing. That's what I needed, for me. To heal, to look back and realize why I was settling for a man who wasn't making me happy, and why I was going to make another mistake. It took a while to get over that. And I'm still angry that he put me in harms way by not telling me he was sleeping around. We had talked and committed to being monogamous. He was an ass. I'm still mad I spent that money on him, too. But I bought it as a family gift, too...because the ex wife took all the TV's, etc, and his son was so down. His son was 12 and obviously into TV and games. So when his son came home and saw the TV and new video games/system, he was totally ecstatic. I am glad at least he gets to enjoy it.

So, anyway...this isn't about me. BUt, this man offered no explanation, wouldn't talk to me about it, nothing. We were together over a year, and were friends longer than that. I thought he was this upstanding, religious man. Boy was I wrong. He was a snake. I hear from other churchgoers who are mutual friends that he is still doing this to others. I hate it that he is doing this to others too, because it broke my heart. I felt horrible for a long time.

It's up to you what you want, whether you want to just give him space and then try contacting him, or whatnot. Think about it. What I would do first though, is give yourself a set amount of time to think about what you want to ask, etc. DOn't go into it being so emotional, or it will cloud your thinking. It doesn't let you think clearly. Just make yourself a commitment that you will wait a certain amount of time, whether that's a day, a week, 3 days, or a month. what you want to talk to him about: whether it be trying to get back together, or just talking about what happened, etc. Figure out what you want. It's YOUR choice. Then make an attempt to contact him, and ask what you want. The bad thing is, there is no way to force him to tell him what you want. That upset me, too.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I know how much it hurts, trust me. It sounds like he was really irritated when you talked to him last. Remember to take time for yourself to meet your own needs, with sleep and eating and exercise. It's most important when you are stressed and upset. I hope everything turns out for the best and that feel better very soon. (((((hugs)))))))))

[rusty15]

I am so sorry
That sucks, maybe give him some time and try contacting him in a week or 2?

[JennyRW]

Mmm I don't think you should contact him, 100% sure he won't answear and he will think that you are desperate and that is just an excuse to convince him to go back to you... So respect yourself and don't contact him, this is the time to have a little pride!
I'm really sorry for this break up but what you told us shows that he didn't apreciated you like he should, so think that this is for the best, now you have the opportunity to meet someone better, who will appreciat you and love you like you deserve
I know healing takes time but don't worry you'll find someone that is right for you!

[Sharon Q]

I'm so sorry that happend. If I were in your position I would.

First Calm down, You don't want to talk or write him all upset.

Second once you are calmed down, Write him, think about what you want to say to him, How you feel why you care about him. and why you want to keep trying LD. Then let him know you care for him and once you have written/typed it out go over it. Make sure all your thoughts are conveyed the way you want them to be. and then send it and leave it at that. give him a few days and let him miss you.

Good luck. I'm here if you need to talk just inbox me.

[Brittty]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I know how hard it is to "just get over" someone. I agree that you need to get your feelings out. Write him a letter. I wouldn't advise you to send it write away, but just keep writing. Keep talking to us. Keep letting your feelings out. Reach out to people. It's one of the few things that will help you through this in the very beginning. And most importantly, don't give up on love. Whether it be with him or someone else, there is love out there waiting for you. And sometimes you have to go through a lot of bull to find it.