Need a little hope and strength :/

[HollzHeartsChris]

A lot has been happening in my LDR as of late. The first set of issues we've having are my SO recently started school again and I'll be attending university in 12 days. He's been having a huge series of problems with his parents, being the total pain in the asses that they are -_-, and I'm having to hide our relationship from my parents because if I don't, then there is no way on earth we will ever be able to talk again. The trouble is, my dad suffers from depression and he's had a hard life. He's extremely protective of me and already had a huge row with me back in April about my relationship with Chris: he doesn't know that we were in an LDR even then, only that we were friends. He's wary of the internet, and thinks that everyone can't be trusted. He isn't as open minded about the subject as I am and isn't convinced long distance can work: I have no idea how I'll be able to convince him. We're not supposed to talk to one another, yet I do because I love Chris with all my heart. I also love my father, and I would never intentionally hurt him. I don't want to hurt either of them, so as a result I feel completely trapped and it's depressing me.

The second series of issues we've been having are that Chris has been getting extremely down as of late, due to the fact that the distance is weighing down on his mind and the lack of physical contact is driving him, including myself, insane. We've not been able to have the luxury of being able to see each other: as of yet, due to finances and a set of other circumstances, we've yet to meet, and the thought of having to wait much longer is taking its toll. I'm trying to stay strong, not only for him, but for myself, however I have no real source of getting strength from anywhere else for myself. I don't go out much and I can't tell my parents. I don't have many friends,and those I have don't really have time for my problems. I feel completely isolated and alone...I may be a strong person, but even the strongest person in the world could only endure so much of this before their strength starts to falter :/ I just feel alone in this besides Chris, and I have to stay strong to stop us both from breaking. It's the fact that we love each other so much that keeps us going, and me constantly carrying us both. Chris is strong, I know it, he's had to deal with a lot of things in his life, things I've never had to face. It's drained him and his parents have beaten these feelings of hopelessness into him....they're not nice people :/ The thought of him breaking....it's something I really REALLY don't want.....
Please, can anyone offer some advice about what I can do to help us both?

[Mara]

Having someone outside of your SO to talk about these things or having someone else to be able to turn to or be supportive is huge. If your family isn't supportive and you don't really have friends to turn to, you both are always welcome to turn to everyone here. We are all in [relatively] the same situation so it's easy for us to understand and be supportive. I also have to recommend blogging or even keeping a paper journal. Sometimes it's just a relief to get all your thoughts and feelings down somewhere.

As for your dad, I know you are so worried about what he's going to think or how he's going to react, but I'll tell you one thing for sure. He's your dad and he loves you regardless. The two of you may not always agree and I'm sure there will be many times in your life where you make decisions that he may not necessarily approve of, but that doesn't change the relationship the two of you share. For now, I would not tell him about your relationship, but perhaps wait until Chris visits you and then introduce them. I think it would be much easier for him to be accepting and understanding if he actually got to meet your SO.

The only other advice I can give you as far as making it through the time until the two of you can visit each other is just don't think about it too much. I make myself so much more miserable when I sit and lament the fact that we are long distance or I sit and count the days to our next visit or worry about the fact we don't have a visit in sight when we don't have one planned. A few months ago I didn't know when we were going to see each other next, but it helped a lot just taking it a day at a time and occupying myself with other things.

[HollzHeartsChris]

Thank you for the advice, Mara I'm trying to encourage Chris to come on here more often, he has an account but he doesn't get online much. I'll see what I can do.