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    We're done... and I'm ok with it.

    Wow, so where do I even start. The past few weeks since Andrew has been home have honestly been the most miserable weeks of my life. I was upset that it seemed like he barely wanted to see me, and so I started telling him. Instead of him trying to make things better (we saw each other once a week in the past two weeks) he got defensive and would tell me that I was being crazy. From what I've told everyone else, I really don't think me asking to see my boyfriend more than once a week is too crazy. On Sunday I had had it, I got upset with him because he didn't want to see me, yet again, and yet again he told me that I was psycho, while I was crying, and hung up on me. Monday he told me he wanted a break. At first I was upset, actually, I was upset up until this evening when I went over to his house because I wanted to see him physically delete the videos that I had sent him while we were long distance. After having a conversation with him, where I finally realized that he was being a complete asshole, and had been for a while now, I realized on my way home that I'm better off without him. I'm actually already feeling so much better about myself.

    I feel as though I lost a part of myself while being in this relationship. I used to be someone who made guys fight for me, and yet, I let him walk all over me because I loved him. I'm not saying that I still don't love him, because obviously, I can't fall out of love that easily, I gave 2 years of my life to him, and of course I won't forget that, but honestly, love is blind, and in this case, it was a bad blind. It was so blind that I was unable to actually see it. I wanted to believe everything was working out, and I made up excuses for him treating me the way he did, but all of a sudden, within the past 2 hours, it has all become unbelievably clear, I feel like I'm finally seeing the world in a good light.

    As for long distance relationships, I do believe they work, I don't think that the issue here was the distance, or even overcoming it, obviously we made it through that, I think really the issue comes that I shouldn't have even let this relationship get that far. Would I do it again? Yeah, with the right person, but I don't know who that person is yet.


    我爱我的男朋友我。现在我们一起。

    #2
    Wow- what an incredibly positive post... I love the attitude you've taken on this, and I think you've got it just right!
    I'm sorry that the relationship didn't work out for you two, but it sounds like overall it was an experience worth having... you may have lost part of yourself while in the relationship but you also seem to have gained an awareness which will help you as you move forward and reclaim yourself. And that part of it can be fun
    You may have ups and downs... it is an adjustment to come out of a lengthy relationship, whatever the circumstances- but I think you will find that you are better and stronger, too. Good luck!
    We collided and fell out of nothingness... scattering stars like dust

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      #3
      You know what? Good for you getting out of a bad situation. I admire your strength and just the fact you haven't turned your back on LDRs because of it. Good luck

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        #4
        It sounds like u did the best thing for youself. You have to remember the most important person in your life, your main priority should be you. After putting up with it for so long you deserve to be selfish. Congrats!
        sigpic
        Not to get clever
        but with you I see forever
        But whatever it is,
        Here's to you,
        I Love You Kid...


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          #5
          I want to give you support because that happened to me before and I know how it feels. It was my ex, it was a CDR but I was really blind... Today I see that he is a misogynist and I still cannot believe I let him misstreat me that bad (he never bit me but he threatened me to do it...) I stayed with that beast a whole year and we had plans to get married! Every time that I remember it I feel stupid. But I don't want you to feel like that, on the contrary, you did something great for yourself and you should be proud! Like my mom told me in that moment: "he opened the door, now run away and don't look back" it is obviesly a metaphore... But yeah if I would ended marring that guy I would be miserable, leaving him was the best desition of my life!
          Now you need to be strong because he maybe will try to go back with you, and them can be really good manipulatos. My ex was after me, calling me leaving me messages of any kind, from give me another chance, to I don't love you anymore, and even suicide messages... I never answered, I was lucky that in that moment my lease expired and I had to move out, so he didn't knew my new adress, and I also started a new job which he didn't know eather, but he was looking for me at my cousins house... I stop going to the places I usually go... He was stalking me :s but eventually he realized that I will never go back to him and he leaved me alone.
          I was depress but not for not being with him, I was depress because he lower so much my self esteem... But the best thing happened, I met my current bf and he is exactly the opposit of that guy! He makes me so happy! And I believe that everything happen for a reason, I had to be with that kind of trash to really apretiate the bf and the relationship that I have now
          So my advise is be strong, if he look for you avoid him! Take the time that you need (try that that time won't be too long) and try to be busy to not think too much, go out with friends, take a class of something you like, go to the gym... And when you gonna be ready start daiting again, there is a great guy for you somewhere, someone who will respect you and love you more than anything.
          And if you need to talk I'm here for you!

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            #6
            sorry I meant he never beat me....

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              #7
              This made me feel happy. I admire your positivity!!

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                #8
                I'm sorry to hear the relationship didn't work out for both of you, but I take my hat off for your strength and positivity. At least to me it's a bit rare to see this kind of post-breakup attitude, but you have clearly stated that if a relationship doesn't work out, it doesn't mean the end of the world. Despite the pain and sadness, you have accepted everything with a big heart. I mean, sometimes when the relationship ends, people have a hard time accepting the truth, facing the reality and admitting the mistakes they've done. I hope what I said makes sense, lol. Some relationships work, some don't, whether LDR or CDR.
                You definitely deserve someone better. I hope you will find that person, and he will find you. It's only a matter of time.
                Good luck!

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                  #9
                  I'm sorry things didn't work out for you guys, but I admire your attitude and I think you did what was best for you given the circumstances. I wish you all the best, and I hope things work out in the future for you. I'm pretty sure the right person is out there waiting for you, and you'll find him
                  Good luck!

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                    #10
                    I'm sorry the relationship didn't work out. But I'm glad that you're being positive about it. I hope you find that right person next time.
                    "Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue,
                    a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them
                    which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky."
                    - Rainer Maria Rilke




                    "An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,
                    regardless of time, place, or circumstance.
                    The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break."
                    - an ancient Chinese belief

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                      #11
                      I'll admit, I miss him, but more than anything, I miss who he used to be, I miss the guy who actually wanted to spend time with me, and would comfort me when I was crying, not tell me that I was psycho. Originally he said he wanted a break, but last night he said that it was over, and I think that made me come to my senses. Otherwise, I would have continued to make excuses for him and continued to try to make things work. I'm sure that part of the problem is transitioning back into him being home, but it's time to move on, I can't rely on that fact because if that's not true, I'm just going to be stuck in it because I wouldn't have this revelation that I'm not the one who should be apologizing all the time.


                      我爱我的男朋友我。现在我们一起。

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I'm sorry to hear that it's over, but Good for your for standing up for what you wanted! It must have been incredibly hard for you to stand up to someone you love. It was really brave.
                        "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.

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                          #13
                          I'm sorry things didn't work out. But what a relief that you have made a good decision for yourself and can move on and be happy and healthy. Good luck and please stick around the forum

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                            #14
                            I'm sorry to see this news. I wish you the best of luck. Hope you decide to stick around!

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                              #15
                              Sorry that things didn't work out. Sometimes people change and you keep clinging on to the relationship, trying to figure out how you can steer things back in the right direction. Sometimes you lose part of yourself trying to save it. However, the truth is that if someone isn't going to at least meet you halfway, things become really skewed and the love is just not reciprocated anymore. Kudos for re-claiming your dignity.

                              P.S. I also agree that it's ridiculous to see my boyfriend only once a week. I dated a guy a while back that was a workaholic and just couldn't make more space for me in his life. If it's such a pain designating a certain amount of time for your girlfriend, why did you bother courting me in the first place?

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