Rivalry, Fighting for the one u love, any Suggestions???

[Mitch33250]

The current situation is that I have rivalries, The girl that I love has a lot of other guys that like her too. At first I was not worried at all because she says she only likes me and wants only me and does not like anyone else, so i trust her 110% but, the problem is there is this one guy who is her best friend and he likes her a lot and wants to hang out all the time talks to her everyday, basically is up her butt 24/7 and things got more complicated since he moved in the same apartment complex. Also, about a week ago he surprised kissed her, so he is not the type to sit around and wait for me and her not to work out. Also, she told me she liked him before but was a long time ago.

At the moment me and her are not dating, we met in June and we have been talking everyday and are current relationship is like a LDR with out the title. However, when I go and see her this December we have made plans to start dating officially.

So my problem is that I feel like I am basically fighting for this girl, I cant tell her not to stop talking to him cuz they are friends and I don't want to be controlling when not in a real relationship yet. Also, I feel as if I am at huge disadvantage because she lives in Japan and I live in America.

So if you anyone has any suggestions what I can do as to keep our love going strong or how i should act???

Also, if anyone have the same issue feel free to post too.

Thanks

[hxcbreakdance]

Honestly, I feel like unless ya'll are official she may do whatever she wants because obviously she is still single. I guess you have to take her word for it and trust her but I don't see why ya'll cannot be official now to avoid any future hurt. I really don't know what else I can add to that, you seem to be in a tough spot.

[PríncipeAzul]

The fun is in the chase no? If you like her than fight for her.

I agree with the previous poster too. Making it official may give you a better feeling of security. The best advice would be to tell her how you feel. Can't go wrong with how you feel.

[kteire]

I can understand the feeling. My SO and I weren't official for the first 6 months we were together, and I spent the last 4 months of that unnecessarily panicking (that's when we started LD). I waited until I saw him in person to ask him about making it official, but I kind of wish I'd spared my sanity during those months and have just asked!! We have both had other people have feelings for each of us, and have had awkward situations where said people tried to make a move.
But honestly, if she says she only cares about you, you should have the talk about being official. That doesn't have to change anything dynamic-wise in your relationship, except that it might give you both a bit more peace of mind! And just because a good friend of hers has feelings for her, it doesn't mean she'll develop feelings for him again. One of my best friends is a guy I used to have feelings for (and my SO knows that) and while he has admitted feelings for me, it didn't bring up old feelings in me at all. You should trust her with regards to this friendship, because I'm guessing that since she told you about what's happened, she doesn't want it to get in the way of your relationship.

[Zephii]

The chase is half the fun! Just because he's there doesn't mean he'll win by defult. If she wanted him, she'd be with him already.

[Mitch33250]

Hey, just want to say thanks for the comments. I know it might seem weird for us not being official but it is something that she wants and I don't want to be forcing anything down her throat. I figured I am just going to keep on doing what I have been doing and not let it bother me and say something if things get to out of control.

Also, just an update, her ex likes her too and just recently her ex and this guy got in a fight because of her; I feel like I am in some kinda love game or something o.O

[Zephii]

I'd be a bit wary of that honeslty. Sounds a little like she might be playing men against each other.

But, it's not weird at all. Lots of us don't go offical before meeting. Your plan sounds like a good one.