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Im having trouble trusting him :(

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    #1

    Im having trouble trusting him :(

    Just yesterday, my beloved boyfriend arrived in London, where he plans to work for quite a while. The problem is, that im from slovakia, a small country in central europe and that makes just about 1300 kilometres of distance.

    Although he kept promising me, that he would never cheat on me or even look for any girls out there, i feel like hes got so many reasons to leave me for another chick, she might be prettier, smarter and better than me and what is more important - she would be more available to him.

    I just dont wanna give him a hard time being jealous and i know he wouldnt seek opportunities to be unfaithful to me, im just afraid that he doesnt really realize, that it will be very difficult for him to avoid women and resist them, since hes very handsome. I can only make it to visit him like once a month or two and that is quite a while, so he could easily fall for someone else

    I would be very happy if you gave me some advice on what to do or maybe just shared your own experience with jealousy and lack of trust
    Tags: faithfulness, jealousy, trust
    #2
    You have to realize that no man would put himself in an LDR unless he cared for the girl he's with. Why would he go through the stress of an LDR for someone he doesn't care about? He loves you and the fact he's making this sacrifice proves it


    This is what I use when I get jealous.
    "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.

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      #3
      I had these fears, and sometimes still do sad to admit, but like rugger said, he's chose you and is going through all this, because he loves you. You have to trust your SO. I have personal self esteem issues and sometimes i need that reassurance from him, because im feeling down on myself. So i sometimes ask him questions I know his answer to or that i've asked before just to hear it again. That he wants only me, or that he can't wait to see me or just little reassurances. So that helps, but in the end, you just have to have faith in your SO. keep the communication open, and give him the benefit of the doubt.
      I love you Nathan <3
      sigpic
      5/25/09 <3

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        #4
        You have to realize that no man would put himself in an LDR unless he cared for the girl he's with.
        That is grate advice. Being LD takes a lot of work and its harder than CD but no one would be LD if they didn't want to be with the person. If he really wanted someone there he wouldn't be with you. BUT HE IS WITH YOU because he cares about you.
        I don't think anyone enters an LDR if they are not serious about their partner.

        Also it may be a good thing to voice your insecurities and let him know how you feel talking to him could help make you feel better.
        " There is always hope.
        "

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          #5
          You need to realize that going into LDR is a big commitment of trust, dedication, and hard work it is not for the faint heart. But truthfully, as harsh as this may seem I tell all my girlfriends the same thing. Whether you are in a LDR or a CD relationship if a man is going to be unfaithful and cheat he's going to do it and there's nothing you can do about it. Thus, stressing or worrying about him cheating, being unfaithful or finding another woman is a waste of time and emotion. There's a reason he is with you and not some other girl remember that and have some confidence in yourself. The only thing you're doing by stressing about him cheating is putting a strain on yourself as well as the relationship. Also I have many guy friends who have actually cheated on their girlfriends because they were always so suspicious and continued to accuse them of cheating.

          Its the same when someone keeps asking you if you're mad or upset then accusing you that you're mad or upset until finally you reach you're breaking point and become mad and upset. All you can do is think about all the reasons why he's with you and truly believe in those reasons and have some confidence to believe in yourself. If anything voice your opinion to him once and see how he reacts. But like I said LDR require a lot of trust and if you truly believe he is a good guy then trust him.

          "There's no use crying over milk that hasn't spilled."

          With hard work, dedication and trust you guys will be able to get through this! Hope this helped, and I hope you don't think I am completely heartless. c:
          .We've Closed the Distance.
          no matter where i am, no matter where you are
          i'll be there when it's over baby - cause i was there from the start
          no matter if i'm near - dont matter if you're far
          all you do is pick the phone up baby & i'll be there when you call

          Whenever you need me, whenever you want me, ♥

          Comment

            #6
            As for my relationship, neither of us thinks that cheating will be an issue. I guess we just trust each other so much. Both of us know very well that no one else is perfect for each other. We had such a perfect personality match, which we have never experienced with anyone else before.

            If you ask your boyfriend why he has to choose YOU over any other girls, then will he have an answer? Will he be able to tell you why you are so exclusive to him? If you can get him to convince you why no one else will suffice for him, then maybe you'll become less paranoid. Best of luck!

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              #7
              Hi Domka
              There's always someone prettier smarter cooler etc.. but there's no one else like you! Work on your self esteem. Too easy to let what ifs get in the way and to let your mind wander. Everyone's innocent until proven guilty. Don't waste your energy on doubting him and instead work on strengthening your relatipnship. You can do it! You have to have faith :-)

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                #8
                Thank you guys a lot, this really helped me get over my scary thoughts

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