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    Open Relationships

    I will try to keep this fairly clean, as I decided to put it in this Forum rather than LFADults.

    I wanted to start a discussion on Open Long Distance Relationships.

    When me and Miguel first got together, we were in one. We knew we were in love, but he was just entering University away from home, and I myself have a couple of very "close" male friends, so we thought that it would be the best for us considering the circumstances. We are both EXTREMELY non-jealous people, and thought we could make it work. I will skip the details, and just say that it didnīt. I found out that I was incapable of taking advantage of it (mostly because Miguel is the only man that Iīve ever been with physically), and he just felt guilty when he did. It actually caused a break up between us at one point (Which thankfully, only lasted a week.) So we decided, after being with each other for so long, and considering that I am taking a year off of school (which equals SO many more visits), that it was time to just become a "normal" couple, and just live with out that for a while. However, ours is a very forgiving relationship in that aspect, and we are still both just not jealous people.

    In my opinion, I do think that Open Relationships are perfectly valid, and can work very well. But it has to be under the right circumstances, and with the right people. Maybe if we were older, and if I had more experience, as it were, that would have helped.

    But here are some questions: Is anyone on here in an open relationship? COULD anyone? Do you think itīs any less valid than a "closed" relationship? Also, share your experiences if you want

    Go!

    "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd."
    -Miguel De Cervantes

    Read our story HERE
    \

    #2
    After my first visit (I knew him IRL before we met again, we were childhood friends, etc), my SO and I discussed having an open relationship. But in the end, we decided that in the event that something did happen with someone else, it woulld change things between us. We'd lose some of the innocence and trust and dedication. To me, it would make me feel more...dispensible. So, I agree. It has to be the right people and the right circumstances. It just wouldn't work for me.

    Edit: Also I commend your abilities to forgive each other. That's very special, you should treasure that. I don't think my SO and I would be able to do that.

    Comment


      #3
      Exactly! It was the innocence and dedication that got me. I felt like I wouldnīt be "completely his" any more if I took advantage of it.

      "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd."
      -Miguel De Cervantes

      Read our story HERE
      \

      Comment


        #4
        No way I could or would do an open relationship. When I love someone, I love only them and sex is tied very strongly into that. I can't be attracted to someone I don't love, therefore no attraction = no sex. Easy as that. Luckily my guy is a one girl man as well. This is not something that has even come up in conversation with us. It's not a matter of not trusting each other, it's a matter of not wanting anyone else in that aspect of our lives.
        Three words. Fill my racing mind. Leave me breathless. Lost in time.
        Three words. Fill my endless dreams. Repair my heart. Mend the seams.
        Three words. Fill your heart too. Three words pronounced. I love you.

        ~~~~~~

        You look in the mirror, you don't like what you see, don't believe it.
        Look in my eyes, I am the only mirror you're ever gonna need.




        Met online: 12/24/10 Met In Person: 2/24/11 Distance Closed: 4/24/11
        Not one regret, not one backwards look, only towards the future and beyond!

        Comment


          #5
          I thought about it when things were rocky with me and my boyfriend, We decided not to do it tho. I don't like to share. lol
          I couldn't handle the thought of him doing stuff with other girls ( we've only been physical with each other. ) I think it would just break my heart to know he was messing with other chicks.
          " There is always hope.
          "

          Comment


            #6
            I couldn't do it. Sex has a lot of meaning to me -- it's something to be shared with the person I love, so I myself couldn't do an open relationship. I know some couples make it work, and I commend that. It's just not something I could do.

            Comment


              #7
              I couldn't do it either. I find the thought of my SO being with anyone else whilst still being with me awful and I could never do the same thing to him either. We're not the non-jealous type and in our eyes, he's mine and I'm his and no one else's. I don't wanna share and I don't like to share, and neither does he :P Besides, we have no need to consider open relationships, not when we have each other

              Comment


                #8
                While I don't need to love someone to have sex with them, when I do love them, I don't want to sleep with anyone else. I could never share my guy with anyone else and he feels the same about me, so an open relationship would never work for us. I was more casual about it when I was younger, but I'm definitely a one man kind of woman these days.
                Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

                Comment


                  #9
                  The physical things my SO and I share are important to both of us, and neither of us would want to have that with anyone else. Neither of us are particularly jealous (I have the odd jealous moment, and he's never been jealous at all) but it's more that our relationship is about everything as a whole - the emotional and physical - and having either of those with someone else instead of solely each other would change our relationship. I couldn't have anything physical happen with anyone else while I love my SO!

                  I'm very sceptical when it comes to open relationships. My SO and I started as purely physical, and I wouldn't want that to happen with me and someone else or him and someone else. I've never known anyone to have an open relationship that had it not end badly... They were probably doing it for the wrong reasons, but I guess I don't know what would be the right reasons. If you're not both completely comfortable with it, don't do it.

                  I'm all for monogamy!!


                  Love will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free

                  Met: Cork, Ireland - December 31, 2009 • Started Dating: Cork, Ireland - May 22, 2010 • Became LD: July 15, 2010 • My Move From Canada to UK: October 26, 2011
                  Closed the distance June 18, 2012!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Me and my SO our each others first and hold anything physical as very special and just a way to express our love in another way. I could not ever share my SO. I may be a bit jealous, and lol controlling in this? But he's mine and mine alone, I can't even take just the thought of him with another woman. Besides im content with waiting for him, in the sense of i don't have the want or need for any companionship if it isn't him. And he feels the same about open relationships, he wouldn't want to do it either. For those who can do it and make it work great for them, but for me im a one man only girl, no side flings or things lol
                    I love you Nathan <3
                    sigpic
                    5/25/09 <3

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I know I'm an extremely jealous type and therefore I couldn't stand knowing that my SO while having feelings for me was embracing another woman.

                      Notes:
                      Met: 8.17.09
                      Started Dating: 8.20.09
                      First Met: 10.2.10
                      Closed the Distance: 8.9.14

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I just can't. open relatonships are not for me

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                          #13
                          Lol wow lots of negative thoughts towards this! I think if I can find one person who could take part in one, Iīd be satisfied xD
                          Thank you everyone for all your opinions! I enjoyed reading all of them

                          "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd."
                          -Miguel De Cervantes

                          Read our story HERE
                          \

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Sex means nothing to us :P. Only issues with me are being transgender and being gay. It tends to make sex much harder than it has to be XP. First I gotta find a guy who's ok with the lack of penis. There's actually a lot of discrimination among the LGBT community. Most gay men won't touch a pre-op trans guy because of our genitals and chest. Then I gotta make sure that they won't lynch me halfway through sex. Then I gotta deal with someone touching the no-no areas @_@. Oh, and I can still get pregnant, something I never want ;_;. So yeah, if I were biologically male, I would've done more whoring in high school :P.

                            Enrique's situation is different. His ex wasn't willing to have sex the first two years of their relationship. Since he liked her, he ended up a virgin up until right before he graduated high school. Their relationship went to hell soon after, so they probably should've never had sex with each other in the first place XP. He would've done more whoring around too, but we got together :P. He and I are way too possessive to do the open relationship thing. Kind of ironic since neither of us were faithful in our previous relationships XP. Sometimes you just find the right person when you're young, and those of us that do are both eternally grateful and angry @_@.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I wouldn't be able to do it. I want to be his, completely his, and nothing but his. If it was an open relationship, there'd always be that doubt about how the SO REALLY felt.

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