Open Relationships

[DemonxOisin]

Sometimes you just find the right person when you're young, and those of us that do are both eternally grateful and angry @_@.

A truer word was never spoken LOL. Darth, you´re like the coolest person I´ve met so far on here.

[Engel]

While I don't need to love someone to have sex with them, when I do love them, I don't want to sleep with anyone else. I could never share my guy with anyone else and he feels the same about me, so an open relationship would never work for us. I was more casual about it when I was younger, but I'm definitely a one man kind of woman these days.

exactly the same here.

[Anolinde]

At the beginning of my relationship I found it hard to be faithful emotionally, though at that time I was a very jealous person and didn't want to share him with anyone. I had wanted an open relationship but Erik didn't. I'm a very open person with a lot of things and he is the exact opposite. As it stands now I've been granted access in a way to certain things but, I've decided that I no longer want to continue my experimentation. Though right now I think we're both happy to just be together and love each other and have our body's and souls just for each other. But down the road when we're older perhaps we'll experiment more, together and I think I'll enjoy that a heck of a lot more.

[MadMolly]

I was in one fr the first year LD with my ex. I never actually slept with anyone else but I'm sure he did, it was no big deal. However after a while we just decided to be exclusive because we had so many mutual friends that it would have been weird explaining it if they ever saw us hooking up with other people! So we became exclusive. However when he moved to be with me up here in my city, he cheated on me a few times... fucking devastating. So weird how I was perfectly fine with it until we agreed to be exclusive, and then BAM! jealousy goes crazy. I suppose it was more the "broken promise" than the actual act.

With my current "interest" ... I'm not sure where we stand on exclusivity. We haven't really discussed it. I know he sleeps with his groupies a LOT (he's in a pretty big band...) but as of last week when we decided that we would be a couple I am not sure if he is going to stop that, haha. He is really against cheating so yeah... we haven't even met yet which is the thing; 2 weeks though!! and we'll talk about it then. I don't really care if he has sex with other girls at this stage, since we're sooooo new, I just don't wanna hear about it. lol

[Fyrestar]

Define it.. or it will eat you from the inside out.. and I can relate on all levels of this but the newness..

[lucybelle]

Lol wow lots of negative thoughts towards this! I think if I can find one person who could take part in one, I´d be satisfied xD
Thank you everyone for all your opinions! I enjoyed reading all of them

Hi there My SO and I were in a very successful open relationship. When I met my SO he was quite the man whore, and to expect him to give that up right then and there for someone he barely knew (me!) was unrealistic. We were "open" for about 1.5 years. We talked almost every day, told each other we loved each other, but had physical relations with other people. We never, ever talked about our "dates" and when we asked what we were doing for the weekend or whatever, we would say things like "oh going out with some friends". Which we all know what that meant... It came to a point where we just decided we only wanted each other. Here's an embarrassing moment, after I slept with a guy I started to cry and blurt out "I'M IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER MAN!"

So as an LD "couple", we were LD for 2 years, but only exclusive for about 4 months... jajaja!!! We are now very happily CD and exclusive.

[Lina]

Some say that open relationships are for the open-minded or for the strongest of us, which is really weird since I consider myself to be an open minded person and hey, any person in a LDR is strong since they chose to enter a LDR (we all know it's not easy stuff, lol). BUT I still couldn't be in an open relationship. Once you're free to do whatever you want, with any guy you wish, it's like the relationship in which you are gets in quotation marks -> "relationship". The very own meaning of relationship implies 2 persons and not "me,you&the rest of the guys I can date while in this open relationship ^__^". All the affection and the innocence ,as some members mentioned in earlier posts, go out the window in my opinion. So nope, ORs aren't for me.

[WakeUpSusie]

I think it works for some people and that's great! As long as it's healthy and not emotionally or physically damaging to either party, I say go for it!

I personally couldn't do it because I don't feel comfortable sharing someone, or being involved with more than one person at a time.

[JessicaT]

With my current "interest" ... I'm not sure where we stand on exclusivity. We haven't really discussed it. l

It would probably be a good idea to discuss it or else it may eat into you and the trust won't be established as well either. My SO and I kept it hidden for a few weeks from everyone around us, but once it was all "official" and out in the open, it was like a breath of fresh air and I didn't have to be afraid to kiss him good-bye if he was around his family. He said it feels amazing to officially call me his girlfriend. Think about it maybe

[Sierra]

It's definitely not for me, nor do I think it's truly conducive to a strong, healthy, long lasting relationship.

I can understand the need for sex, and how it gets frustrating in a long distance relationship, but I've seen open relationships DESTROY couples who are close distance, why would I want to do the same thing to my relationship? I love my partner and value him enough to be able to commit myself to him fully. If I wasn't able to do this, I wouldn't be in a relationship with him.

What it comes down to is to me, an open relationship is the same thing as being single. In a long distance relationship being in an open relationship would make me feel particularly bad because it would be like, well what am I, the love of his life or just a fuck buddy for when he goes on vacation?

I know that it would hurt him deeply if I was with someone else, even if he gave me permission to me, and I can't stand the thought of him being intimate with another person. Even before I was in a relationship with my boyfriend, I had serious feelings for him, went on a date and left sobbing because I felt like I betrayed my boyfriend, even though we weren't together yet.

I just couldn't do it. And I won't do it, not only because of my personal feelings but because I've witnessed strong relationships destroyed by having an 'open relationship.'

[DemonxOisin]

When I met my SO he was quite the man whore, and to expect him to give that up right then and there for someone he barely knew (me!) was unrealistic.

LOL. The same situation right here. And actually, your embarassing moment that you described is the reason why Miguel and I ended the open-ness. It wasn´t because we were hurting each other, we were hurting ourselves. It just made us miss what we couldn´t have with each other even more. So we eventually just gave up on that haha.

[mouse411]

I personally could never do the open relationship thing, simply because I wouldn't want to picture my bf being intimate with someone else. I'm intimate with him because I love and care for him deeply, and while I do think that I need sex, I wouldn't want to do it with anyone but him. And I have nothing against open relationships, my ex best friend was in one for a few years and I was supportive of her. The thing is though, is that her being in an open relationship ended her marriage, and ruined MANY friendships. Since I saw one end so badly, that would deter me from the whole experience as well.

[Kerry]

I could never be in an open relationship. my feeling is if I don't know how I feel about my SO then I'd rather be alone. plus emotions come into play and attachments grow.

[books]

I
What it comes down to is to me, an open relationship is the same thing as being single.

This sums it up for me as I really don't see how it's a relationship when there's no commitment to one another. I guess I would say an open relationship falls into the "single but seeing people category". Whatever you want to call it, it's definitely not for me and I can't see myself ever agreeing to such an arrangement.

[DemonxOisin]

In my opinion, an open relationship doesn´t mean that you´re not in love or committed to someone. You ARE with them, but on a completely emotional level. You are not always worried about your SO cheating on you, because you KNOW that they are in love with YOU, and you trust for them to be able to tell you if, emotionally, they were losing interest. To me, in my mind, it shows so much trust in a person.