Cultural Differences?

[kteire]

My SO is Irish and I'm Canadian, so not massive cultural differences there! I lived in Ireland so I'm used to a lot of things from there (and drink my tea than my SO, haha!) but the things that he and I find the most confusing are the different phrases and slang we both use. That happened a LOT when he met my extended family, and he kept looking at me to get me to "translate". I had thought after talking for a year since I came back to Canada, we'd have covered most of that already, but yesterday he teased me that my room's a kip, and I used the word capisce, and we both got confused again haha.
Also, so many foods I consider staples he just doesn't eat. Like the bacon we have here, he prefers rashers. When I went to bake him a cheesecake, he said "Won't it melt if you put it in the oven?!" (and yes, I consider cheesecake a staple!! Haha.) All of his meals have some sort of meat, one type of vegetable, and some potatoes...

Other than that, really only the accents. I kind of adore his, and the way he says "potato" is fantastic haha.

[Moon]

Then there's all those little things... Eg in Finland you take your shoes off when you enter someone's house.

Oh yeah, the shoe thing! How could I forget about that? I can never, ever remember to take my shoes off when I go in the house, but even worse is in the Winter when were all bundled up in our many layers to go out against the Finnish cold, and put our boots on last. I have so much on I can't get to my feet to do it

[lucybelle]

I'm from southern USA and my SO from Costa Rica.

There's not too many things I can think of. Because I've already spent so much time in CR it's hard for me to remember what's different... But here's a few

1. It's perfectly normal for men to constantly annoy women walking down the street with catcalls and the likes. Women just ignore it.
2. Rice and beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Breakfast it's called "gallo pinto" and it's served with eggs. Lunch is a "casado" with salad and a meat. Dinner is basically the same as lunch.
3. CR produces tons of coffee and ticos (costa Ricans) drink coffee 4 times a day. It's like a "thing" to get together with family around 3 or 4pm to gossip, drink coffee and eat a snack.
4. There are no ovens here. And if there are, they suck. No carpets either.
5. Barbed wire and high fences surround every single dwelling in CR. Everyone who visits me always looks scarred and says "is this place safe!!" But it's just normal and I don't even notice any more.

[JessicaT]

I've been in those, but the biggest issue was my grandpartents who are completely racist and don't care for anyone who isn't Caucasian which is funny because my mom is Lebanese/Bohemian which also makes me Lebanese/Bohemian,but my grandma loves me so much. It makes me chuckle every time I think of it.

[ashleecarol]

I'm from southern USA and my SO from Costa Rica.
2. Rice and beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

This totally cracks me up! My SO is Puerto Rican (but lives in Florida) and I am from the south-midwest region of the US. I have never had so many beans and rice in my life until I met his family!

One thing that is definitely different is my SO's family/culture are not particularly picky about food. Food is food. My entire family are very nit-picky about what we like/don't like. I felt so rude when I went down there and his mom had made dinner. I only ate bits and pieces because of my picky palate. Now, his family is well-off, so it didn't bother them (my SO ended up just cleaning my plate for me lol). However, my SO told me that when his mom lived down in Puerto Rico as a child that what you got was what you ate and if you didn't like it, you don't eat. I felt terrible, but his mom made me feel better by telling me my SO was one of the pickiest eaters she had ever met when he was a child. She used the tactic that she had used on her as a child to get him to eat whatever she made so she didn't have to cook a separate meal for him lol[COLOR="Silver"]

[Dziubka]

milaya, I always love reading about your cultural differences. When it gets too difficult, remember that at least you'll never be bored with each other

Where do I start with ours?
We're both more or less from the same part of Europe, so don't have any huge differences but there's a ton of small ones.

- in Poland you not only take off your shoes, when you visit somewhere, but you'll get slippers as well. Everytime I visit his mum has a pair of slippers ready for me and as much as I try to remember about them... I always end up barefoot again.

- mashed potatoes. In Poland you never get whole, un-mashed potatoes on your plate. They're always over cooked and mashed and served with dill (or as French Fries). When my boyfriend and his friend were visiting and we went to my uni's canteen for lunch they got potatoes still in their skin and they literally had no idea what to do with them

- men-women relations are way different. Men always open the door, let you get into busses or trains first, etc. Anything else is considered rude.

- gated communities! I thought this was an American thing and didn't really exist in Europe. WRONG! Poles are huge on gated communities and it's just sooo effing weird for me. Why would you want to live in a place that resembles a prison?!

- Poles don't throw away bread. Bread is the body of Jesus and therefore holy and throwing it away is like the ultimate sin. You have to give it to pigeons or whatever, but under no circumstances, throw it away.

There's a million more things. They're not big differences and we don't fight over them, but I'm always amazed at how different our countries are after all.

[Lina]

Oh, I like this, haha.

I am from an European country and he is from an African country and you can imagine only by the continents how different we are, lol.
We're different in almost every cultural way, religion, too. But it's fun to find out that some of our traditional foods are the same since they have oriental origin Or some words which have same root in my language and in Arabic (for the same reason, oriental origin).

Cultural differences can be such a strange thing and sometimes an impediment in a relationship, yet it's always fun and interesting to discover new things about each other.

[lucybelle]

- gated communities! I thought this was an American thing and didn't really exist in Europe. WRONG! Poles are huge on gated communities and it's just sooo effing weird for me. Why would you want to live in a place that resembles a prison?!

Tons of gated communities here too! I think it might be because of so many expats living here.

[milaya]

milaya, I always love reading about your cultural differences. When it gets too difficult, remember that at least you'll never be bored with each other

True... XD it's often interesting.

We don't have any shoe problems, since both in Denmark and Japan shoes are taken off in the house. Often when I go to Japan I get compliments about how nice and quickly I take my shoes off before entering the house. "Because in Denmark you wear shoes inside, right?" "ehm, no we don't" I always wondered who did... guess some of you answered my question XD.

- In Japan, when you get married they apparently start expecting babies in a near future. I met a lot of my husband's relatives this summer in Japan, and everyone asked about when we're going to have children. I'm 21 and still a student! On the other hand, you don't get children without a marriage in Japan. It's a no no! Domestic partnership doesn't cut it. They're still old fashioned like that.

- In Japan it's rare that men and women split the costs. The right thing is that the guy always pays for restaurant, etc. But! The whole "ladies first" culture doesn't exist. Often the women walks behind the guy. My SO is just... "weird". Since he always holds the door, carries my things and even pull out chairs.

- For some weird reason, a lot of Japanese guys seem to carry more about their look after they've gotten a girlfriend, than before. My SO has also started caring more about his clothing style, hair style etc. after we started dating. He even own several pairs of shoes now and ask me about color matching. When he was trying to hook up with me, he didn't care much at all.

- When you get married in Japan, you greet your parents-in-law as mother and father. "Good morning!" is not good enough "good morning, Father" is the correct way to greet your father-in-law. I learned that the hard way. Especially since I've never called my own parents mom and dad or such titles. Always "hey you" or "where did she(mom) go?" I talked with my mother-in-law on the phone and I did say "how are you mother?" ... later my SO receives an e-mail from his mom, in which she wrote about how happy she was about me calling her "mother".

- In Denmark, if people say "you look like a doll" it's not a good thing. It pretty much means you look more plastic than Barbie. In Japan it is a compliment. That I learned the first time I visited my SO. "Oh, Isa, you look like a doll"... "what? Why?" then my SO had to inform me that it was a great compliment. Because they think of the dolls, with cute dresses and porcelain face.

[lucybelle]

- When you get married in Japan, you greet your parents-in-law as mother and father. "Good morning!" is not good enough "good morning, Father" is the correct way to greet your father-in-law. I learned that the hard way. Especially since I've never called my own parents mom and dad or such titles. Always "hey you" or "where did she(mom) go?" I talked with my mother-in-law on the phone and I did say "how are you mother?" ... later my SO receives an e-mail from his mom, in which she wrote about how happy she was about me calling her "mother".

Here in Costa Rica when you're just dating someone you call their parents "in-laws". So right now I call my SO's parents and his sister my in-laws. When I first heard that I freaked out and was like "noooooooooooo!" until my SO explained it to me.

[Dziubka]

My weird relatives use "You look like a doll" as a compliment, too :-/

lucybelle, I guess I understand gated communities in a country that really is dangerous (I don't know enough about Costa Rica to judge that, though) but Warsaw is not any more dangerous than Berlin, Hamburg or London. I never felt in danger or threatened and I've done my share of walking alone at night (before I met my boyfriend, haha. He wouldn't let me). But somehow Poles, especially from Warsaw, are convinced that they live in the biggest worst most dangerous ghetto of Europe.
I once went to a party without my boyfriend and his mother wouldn't let me take the nightbus home. It's soo difficult for me sometimes, because I'm not used to being sheltered. I've been living on my own, hundreds of km away from my parents for years now. And even back home there were never any "When are you coming back? Who's driving? With who are you going"-questions.
That's probably more of a different family things, not so much culture.

In Poland almost all doors are made at least partly of (milk) glass. I've lived in a few different apartments and dorms in Poland and it's like that everywhere I'll never understand that. It reduces privacy AND it's effing annoying, because everytime someone turns on the light in the hallway. Sometimes they paint over the glass with white wall colour Why not get proper doors right away?

[CanadianGirl]

I'm Sri Lankan-Canadian, he's Hispanic-American but we're really a lot alike. I'll give this a try..

-He eats a TON of meat (Mexican-style), I'm a vegetarian from birth.. We both love spicy food though, so that works out nicely.
-He spells in American. ex. color, flavor, favorite, check and not cheque...it's just not right.
-He grew up Catholic and I grew up Hindu (but we're both atheists now, so it doesn't matter much)
-He speaks Spanish (mmm). I speak Tamil.
-He can roll his r's so well and I'm pretty jealous
-He hadn't seen a snowflake until he came here!
-I've never seen so many palm trees until I went there.
-His family is accepting of us, and my mother...ehh. To her, I broke a serious cultural tradition. To that I say, screw culture and gimme my Mexican teddybear!

[beckychan]

Well I'm mostly American, but I also have native-american blood in me but it doesn't really show culture... or physical wise. MY bf however, he's all mexican. He's not too proud of it though, and I don't blame him. He has to deal with a lot of racism and I feel pretty bad. He always tells me how he hates his accent and tries really hard not to sound mexican. He doesn't really have one and I tell him all the time but he still thinks he does.

He's fluent at speaking spanish but he hardly EVER speaks any to me. He's always trying to get me to speak it to but I'm so bad at it... I can't even roll my 'r's. He thinks that's cute and is trying to get me to say things even more but I'm way to shy for that.

His mom is ALWAYS cooking him some type of mexican dish too. His favorite food is tamales, which I think I'm gunna have to learn how to make!

[Rosebud]

Aww, this thread is making me all jelly that me and my boyfriend don't have any cultural differences Michigan just isn't tht different from California. Or maybe it's just something we haven't picked up on yet since we don't spend a lot of time together in person.

[DemonxOisin]

His favorite food is tamales, which I think I'm gunna have to learn how to make!

Hehe, yup, I´ve got to learn how to cook Mexican too xD Mines favourite is Chilaquiles, and I´d never even hear of it before I met him!

I also find that gender roles in relationships are quit important. It´s totally normal for a woman to stay at home and cook and clean and stuff, and for the man to be the breadwinner. Also, men always open doors for your, pay for meals, etc... I´ve had to fight Miguel to pay sometimes :P And he won´t let me walk on the side of the sidewalk with cars...