The Despair Thread

[Zephii]

Sometimes we have moments of deep saddness, panic, anxiety, lonelyness or whatever. Bad thoughts. It's not good to bottle these things, but sometimes they are not thread worthy either. Sometimes there is no real problem, other than the distance, and there's no call for advice.

Come share your Moment of Despair with me... and help me feel a little less pathetic today.

My MOD:

I got to skype (phone only) with Obi for a couple of hours today. But all too soon it was time for bed. Early in the conversation he'd mentioned maybe I could read to him until he fell asleep.. but when I asked him about it, he said it was already 11pm and he hadn't showered yet, he should just go to sleep instead. I started crying. I couldn't control it, I couldn't speak. It was terrible. I feel so hopeless right now.

I'm sure it will get easier, thank you for letting me have a whinge, and whingeing along with me.

[MadMolly]

This is the hardest time right now - the sudden cold shock of long distance all over again. You have every right to have a whinge!! Don't hold back because this is such a tough thing to do and you don't need to be strong and staunch about it all the time. You're doing okay! Hang in there.

[CaptainKaz]

I hate the end-of-conversation-breakdown. I've done this plenty of times when I'm having a bad day, and I don't have any excuse at all apart from the fact that I can just be a massive baby sometimes. So don't feel pathetic. It's just a part of LDR life.

MadMolly gave the best advice and I can only reiterate it; let it all out, because holding it in will just make it worse. And probably give you a stomach ulcer or something.

[Laura_N]

Zephii, I know how that feels too. My SO once said she'll just end the call because there was not much to talk about and I felt like ****. I'm probably over sensitive but I started crying too. I hope it will get easier for you x

I'm having a moment of despair too. I finally confronted my SO about how I feel when we have so little contact nowadays. I had to do it by e-mail even though I would have preferred a chat or something so we could answer each other quickly. So far I'm feeling pretty bad about it because she's only answered me twice and the conversation isn't going anywhere and it looks like she just doesn't get it. Sigh.

[Kerry]

I have these moments too- I did last night. my bf said he would call me when he got home from work and I was excited. he borrowed his roommates phone so he had unlimited talk and we were planning on having a nice chat. he ended up working super late and that phone call never came. I waited up for hours for his call. I know we'll have plenty of times to talk in the future but I am so disappointed. and this isn't the 1st time this has happened.

[LilyChiba]

Yeah I've been having that for a few weeks now.. It feels like slowly but surely we are losing the things we do to spend time together and it's kinda all hitting me right now. The 360 not connecting to his connection, his mic/cam breaking and hasn't got one when its been 1-2 months since that happened (which means no calls...) and the talking/roleplaying not happening as much. It is upsetting and I've brought it up, but he forgets and I feel naggy to repeat it. I just hope he gets a mic soon.. I miss his voice -sigh-

[ioanna]

Hang in there Zephii! you're doing all right

thank you for this thread, I'll be taking part in the whining here soon...

[HollzHeartsChris]

I know how you feel, Zephii, I've been feeling the same all day. All I can say is, hang in there. Things will get better. They have to

[Inf_Amy]

I leave in a week and my SO has to work sooooo much. I know it's not his fault but it makes this all seem hopeless. I tried to pretend it didn't bother me when he told me his boss had given him another shift but it hurts so bad that I want to spend every moment together in these last few days and we can't. I hate this.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

My SO is so busy!! It's so hard to find a lot of time to talk....and when we do talk, it's not as "mushy" as it was when we were CD this summer. I miss that so much! He got a job on campus now, too so he's going to be even busier now. I'm visiting in 2 weeks, but I need to get through 2 weeks before I can see him...it's teasing me, knowing we're so close to seeing each other, but yet we can't yet.

[Zephii]

Misery loves company Thank you all for being my support network!

[books]

I had one of these last night. I make my weekly phone call to my SO at the same time every week- Wednesday at 9pm (7pm his time). So I call last night, and it just rings and rings. This is so strange because he always picks up. So, after trying a few times with no answer...I become very panicked. Like convincing myself he must be dead (yea really). I tear through my junk drawer and find his brother's #. Call that #, explained I can't reach my So and I'm worried...he tells me to call back in a half hour and that he'll go look for him. Wait a half hour still freaking out. I call him back and he tells he looked for him, but couldn't find him, but gives me the # of another friend who he may be with. I call that friend and he tells me yes, he's seen my SO...just call back in 15 minutes and he'll put me on the phone with him. I call back and my SO answers...relief! He's not dead! He tells me he dropped his phone in water and it's totally dead. We talk for a quick 5 minutes before his friend asks for his phone back and that's it. Now in addition to having no internet access he now has no phone (which was our only link to staying in touch). He told me he will work on getting a new phone (no phone replacement where he's at) but has no idea when. So, who knows when we will talk. This sucks!

[blankita719]

We all know how you feel - at least it's good to know there are so many with you You guys give me hope - even if you are temporarily apart for now!

[kat4301]

My times of despair are always when my SO is out with all his friends, having a blast, drinking, carrying on and I am stuck here. I hate not being to be apart of it and I enjoy making our relationship shown. LDR just makes it feel like all relationship potential and growth is stunted, you can't get on with things until you are together. Like everyone else says hang in there

[Miramaid]

I have been there oh so many times...
But right now I wish it was that instead of us being on a break and me constantly looking on the phone waiting if he will call and wondering if he is no longer in love with me and is moving on with someone else right now :'(((((