I don't know what to do...
So yesterday my SO came back from highschool, and I stayed up until the late hours to be there for him when he got home. We were chatting for a bit when he said he had to go do something real quick, and that when he got back he had something to tell me. Now, when he generally has something bothering him, he'll say something along these lines and then tell me and we'll try and deal with the problem. Alarm bells rang in my head for no apparent reason in my head, and I started to get worried. When he came back, he told me what it was that was bothering him, and I instantly felt my heart sinking the moment I heard what he had to say.
He told me that the lack of physical contact, like a hug or a kiss, has been driving him insane. I'm one of the few people in his life, if the only one, who shows him affection and love. His parents are horrible to him to say the least, and don't like to show him affection. He might get the occasional hug from a friend at school, but he says it's not enough. He craves for me to be there with him, to hold him, like we've seen each other do in our dreams. We haven't met yet, and the likelihood is that we won't be able to see each other for a few years at least due to circumstances. He says that the lack of my touch is driving him crazy inside and that it's been affecting him worse than he's been letting on, that he's been hiding the majority of his hurt from me. He says it's making him weaker. I tried to help convince him that he isn't weak and that he's just suffering a lot because of the lack of my touch, but I couldn't get through to him. I jumped the gun a bit when he made it sound like he was going to break up with me because he couldn't bear the lack of physical touch and I overreacted and sounded really clingy. He said that if anything I wasn't clingy enough, and it did hearten me a little to hear that I guess. But I was in floods of tears and I couldn't stop sobbing. I told him I understood how he felt because I felt it too, and that I'd been hiding the pain I'd been feeling lately from both him and myself without even realising it. I've been so busy with uni lately I've had no time to dwell on the pain, but it's been there and building up and I had no idea it was. My SO told me that he wanted me close by him and he understood that there was no way we could be together at the moment, and that was what was bothering him. It bothers me too.
We don't know what to do, I certainly don't. The only option we could think of was open relationships, but we're both not sure how that would turn out. I'm afraid my jealousy would get in the way and jeopardise things and I'm afraid he might develop feelings for whoever he was in an open relationship with, if that ever happened. He told me however that he could never leave, cheat, break up with or abandon me because he loves me too much and he knows I love him too much. He told me he would never do anything to hurt me. We got cut off from Skype whilst we were talking and I passed out from exhaustion, having cried myself to sleep. Come morning and my SO was waiting for me, and when we started talking, things were subdued and I felt depressed as hell, and to make matters worse, his father heard him talking and he came into the room. Chris had to cut our Skype call, and I don't know at the moment whether or not he's lost his laptop because his father's taken it. If that's the case (the worst case scenario) I don't know how we'll be able to talk on Skype for awhile because they've already confiscated his phone and iPod overnight so things just got a whole lot more difficult.
I just don't want to lose him. He means too much to me and I too much to him, and we've fought too hard for what we have now to let it go now
I don't know what to do...I feel completely clueless and upset. :/
He told me that the lack of physical contact, like a hug or a kiss, has been driving him insane. I'm one of the few people in his life, if the only one, who shows him affection and love. His parents are horrible to him to say the least, and don't like to show him affection. He might get the occasional hug from a friend at school, but he says it's not enough. He craves for me to be there with him, to hold him, like we've seen each other do in our dreams. We haven't met yet, and the likelihood is that we won't be able to see each other for a few years at least due to circumstances. He says that the lack of my touch is driving him crazy inside and that it's been affecting him worse than he's been letting on, that he's been hiding the majority of his hurt from me. He says it's making him weaker. I tried to help convince him that he isn't weak and that he's just suffering a lot because of the lack of my touch, but I couldn't get through to him. I jumped the gun a bit when he made it sound like he was going to break up with me because he couldn't bear the lack of physical touch and I overreacted and sounded really clingy. He said that if anything I wasn't clingy enough, and it did hearten me a little to hear that I guess. But I was in floods of tears and I couldn't stop sobbing. I told him I understood how he felt because I felt it too, and that I'd been hiding the pain I'd been feeling lately from both him and myself without even realising it. I've been so busy with uni lately I've had no time to dwell on the pain, but it's been there and building up and I had no idea it was. My SO told me that he wanted me close by him and he understood that there was no way we could be together at the moment, and that was what was bothering him. It bothers me too.
We don't know what to do, I certainly don't. The only option we could think of was open relationships, but we're both not sure how that would turn out. I'm afraid my jealousy would get in the way and jeopardise things and I'm afraid he might develop feelings for whoever he was in an open relationship with, if that ever happened. He told me however that he could never leave, cheat, break up with or abandon me because he loves me too much and he knows I love him too much. He told me he would never do anything to hurt me. We got cut off from Skype whilst we were talking and I passed out from exhaustion, having cried myself to sleep. Come morning and my SO was waiting for me, and when we started talking, things were subdued and I felt depressed as hell, and to make matters worse, his father heard him talking and he came into the room. Chris had to cut our Skype call, and I don't know at the moment whether or not he's lost his laptop because his father's taken it. If that's the case (the worst case scenario) I don't know how we'll be able to talk on Skype for awhile because they've already confiscated his phone and iPod overnight so things just got a whole lot more difficult.
I just don't want to lose him. He means too much to me and I too much to him, and we've fought too hard for what we have now to let it go now
I don't know what to do...I feel completely clueless and upset. :/
it'll work out in the end, as long as you two are willing to really work at it.
Write him a love letter. Explain in grand detail exactly how you'd kiss him, where you'd touch him. Set the scene for him. Let your girly gushy side out - show him you're vulnerable too. Make a video for him and put it on youtube, tell him the world needs to know how much you love him. Take close-up photos of individual parts of your body, be creative, let him get a little closer (they dont need to be sexual to be effective - even an ordinary picture of your hand is something special when you haven't met because most times a webcam isnt as detailed). Send him things... mail, or a daily joke via text message (when he gets his phone back), virtual flowers, bad poetry. If you reach out enough that lack of physical touch wont be as painfully obvious.[COLOR="Silver"]
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