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    the best friend....

    So the SO's bestest friend is in the Army too. Only he's deployed. He came in for 2 weeks and I took him out [I was his DD, mostly trying to get him laid but didn't work out...lol] and well it was nice. We had fun and I'm just really glad I get along with the SO's friends. It was pretty important to me that we got along bc me bff's ex didn't like me and it made hanging out with her hard....(I chose not to go around often when he was there bc I knew he didn't like me and I wasn't crazy about how he treated her...and it really sucked!) But it was real cute too, he told me after the first time he met me he like [approved of] me and he told the SO he better hold on me I was a good one. He was surprised at how well I took care of not just Bryce, but his friends too [[obviously they're just finding the wrong girls bc duh of course if I'm already walking back into the house to get me a beer I'll get you one too....that's just common courtesy if you ask me]].....but that made me feel really good. I mean they always call each other 'brothers from another mother' so I've accepted that if I want to spend the rest of my life with Bryce I'll also basically be spending the rest of my life with his best friend lol. It just meant a lot to me that his friends "approve" of me.

    but I digress....well he's back overseas, but not quite to where he's stationed yet. So he's just hanging out wherever it is that they have them right now. He's been online pretty regularly. We chatted a bit last night maybe. Just asked how everyone was, what the SO was up to, and I asked how he was. We talked longer tonight. Some how it came up "the military life sucked." And I said something about yea, but you do what ya gotta do, and I mentioned that I get moody when it starts getting to me, but the SO gets sort of distant and doesn't talk as much. And we talked about that a little bit. He was saying it's just how a lot of guys are. And it's best to just give him his space when he gets like that, that he'll call when he's ready to talk, that I know it's not like he'd go to bed without calling etc etc. It sort of made me cry, makes me tear up now....idk I mean I want the SO back, but this made me realize just how much I'm missing out on with both of them gone. I mean this is his best friend ever....since the 5th grade, basically inseparable. So as close as I am to Bryce and as much as I know about him....there's still so many little things to learn [especially since it is LDR and we're rarely actually together], but this guy.....he knows so much about him. And I just really wish I had them both here.

    The one time I did see them together, they were just so cute. They get like all BFF and finish each others sentences. It's the cutest thing! But I obviously want the SO here, I love him with everything I have and more [im here bc of him, i was going no where but down before he came along and he's taught me so much about myself and helped me to learn to love myself], and I miss his touch, and just seeing him, just being with him....and there's all those little things I have no idea about bc there's no way to know about them unless you spend time with him. But then there's his best friend...he's been such a huge part of his life and knows him so well........we should have been having little convos like the ones we had tonight.....when the SO get's all weird and stuff I just get really confused and sort of worried and don't always know what to do. Well that's who I should go to, his bff...be like what is up with him, what do I do, I do this it doesn't work, I tried that it doesn't work either.

    Idk a few weeks back was just absolutely horrible for missing the SO. I was a little stressed with school and couldn't cope with the distance as much. I was very moody and he got it all. I stayed upset with him over anything and it didn't matter what he did he couldn't win. But that's how I get when it gets to be too much.....I cope with it just fine normally, but when it becomes too overwhelming for my brain it responds with anger.....its like its easier to be mad at him than to miss him so much. But idk, I pushed past it. It just got a million times better in the middle of the week last week. I just felt like I was ready to cope with it, and to deal with the distance, and to just get through the next few months {hopefully see him in July). But this just made me miss him so much. I'm just so ready for him to be back. Just over 10 months....that's nothing....we've already done 15 months. It's so close, yet so far.....

    Idk. I knew I was missing out on stuff not being the SO, but it's made us such a stronger couple and it's definitely forced us to develop excellent communication skills. But I didn't realize how much I was missing out on bc his best friend wasn't around.....but I am. He means so much to the SO and I know the SO means a whole to him [they're very protective of one another]....and he's been a part of the SO's life for about half of his life! He knows so much about him....and could let me in on stuff that Bryce might not normally share....know what I mean. I just had never thought about it............

    We all know how much we're missing without the SO around, but did you ever think how much you're missing without his friends around?!

    #2
    I do the same thing with my SO when the distance becomes overpowering and unbearable. Two weeks ago I just stayed mad at him. Nothing he did or said, no matter how sweet and endearing made me feel better. I'm getting better with the distance. Some days it's a losing battle though. I will hopefully get to see him in July as well. I don't care what I have to do. I'm buying my ticket in May. I'm not going to wait any longer!

    I never thought about the BFF thing. I haven't met my guys friends yet. They live all over the country. The SO wanted to fly both of us out to San Diego to meet his BFF, but we've been unable to come up with the money. They always get together for Christmas though, and I'm 80% sure I'll be spending Christmas with Jason. I'll get to meet them then if I do. It would be so much easier if I could talk to his friends to get a better understanding of him and what he goes through, because I know he talks to them about things he can't talk to me about. (Regardless, I know this will always be the case. I don't know that it's necessarily that he can't, but it's easier for guys to talk to their friends to get perspective on things, just like girls do.)

    I know a little about his friends from their interactions on Facebook. I've been tempted to message Jason's BFF and say hello and introduce myself, but I don't know if that would be overstepping my bounds or if it would be awkward. Of course I wouldn't want to upset my SO either, which I don't know why it would...

    I can't wait to be with Jason again, and I can't wait to get the opportunity to meet his friends. I try not to think about how much I'm missing, but I know I feel it when he talks about things he's done with his friends and what they do when they're in town.

    July can't get here fast enough!
    “For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”

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      #3
      My guy practically lives online. In short, I know all his friends, but they're just as far away as I am. The only "friend" he really has there is an old secondary school friend who added me on facebook. He explained our relationship to her and I even wrote her an email, but she's not there a lot. They're not really best friends, but she still knows and will tell me stories that I've not heard from him! I guess I'm lucky in that way, but I wish he would have more friends sometimes, because I'd hate to think I'm keeping him cooped up in his room all the time.

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        #4
        Originally posted by PandorianRose View Post
        I know a little about his friends from their interactions on Facebook. I've been tempted to message Jason's BFF and say hello and introduce myself, but I don't know if that would be overstepping my bounds or if it would be awkward. Of course I wouldn't want to upset my SO either, which I don't know why it would...
        Yea there's just some things I talk to my BFF about that I don't share with the SO. ....just bc. She gets me in a way that he won't...just because. But I'd say message him or something. I know before I met his bff I added him as a friend on MySpace and sent a short comment saying hey and something about looking forward to meet him. My bff did the same with my SO. I don't think it would upset the SO. I know I was really glad to see my SO and bff try to make some sort of connection....they're both huge parts of my life, it was important they get along. Maybe you could mention it though...I had already told the SO the story about my bff and her ex and how important it was to me that me and his best friend get along.

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          #5
          yeah it sucks, i only get to see one side of him most of the time. although our friend (who lives near him) have been likeon a voice call/webam together when they were hanging out which was cute to hear him

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            #6
            Originally posted by totalspiffage View Post
            M......who added me on facebook. He explained our relationship to her and I even wrote her an email, but she's not there a lot. They're not really best friends, but she still knows and will tell me stories that I've not heard from him! I guess I'm lucky in that way, but I wish he would have more friends sometimes, because I'd hate to think I'm keeping him cooped up in his room all the time.
            At least she added you and talks to you! And I know what you mean about keeping him cooped up. I was used to him being home lots....I got pretty upset that our phone calls were shorter the first weekend or two. But then I thought well I'd rather shorter phone calls on the weekend than him staying in his room alone all weekend!

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              #7
              Yeah, I've spoken to his best friends a couple times. They actually live closer to me than to him. It was just funny how that worked out. I've tried to be friends with them, but it's difficult because they seem so close. 2 of his friends are engaged to one another, so they have that bond. And when Ray is with them they talk about the past a lot, like "remember when..." and I feel left out. He tells me I need to be more outgoing, but I don't know what to say to them. ^^;; I'm actually a shy person. And I don't really have a means to talk to them. They have Blackberry phones, so they mostly talk with that. I don't. ^^;; I seem to get along with them, but it kinda feels like they'd rather talk to Ray than to me. Or any conversation we have and he's not around is about what he's up to and where he is.

              Sometimes I feel kinda weird around them too because I know he talks about me to them. ^^;; I don't know what he says, but he says it's good things. I know that one of them gave him advice in the beginning about how he felt about me before we started dating. That she "approved" of me and thought we'd be good for each other. ^^ But, it does bother me a bit that I'm not closer friends with his friends. I guess that stuff will happen with time and just hanging out together when he comes here.

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