15k to move to him ;-;

[Gemini]

Well right now a bit of struggling just want to let you know if any of you are in a international LDR it really hits you hard when you finally look up everything for it ;_;~ I just graduated with my Associates degree and right now im trying to even find a minimum wage job and i feel so hopeless. I found out we needed 15k for everything for the trip, including the ticket and everything just adds up really scarey looking at it all. I also have to learn German as well, my fiance (IM ENGAGED FINALLY ^__^) bought me books for about 100$ to learn and i have to take a hugeee test after it to confirm my knowledge for German and i get a nifty 6 questions they have to ask me when i get off the plane (in German).

Do you sometimes get tired of the distance and cant handle it? and it just becomes overwhelming, iv been a bit threatening on all of this saying i cant handle it because 1 year turned into 3 years so it seems like its getting harder each year.

[LilyChiba]

Yeah that's about how it is when I looked at it, but its once in a life time you feel like this about someone really. And when you think about it harder, after all the trials and tribulations, you don't ever have to worry about being apart again. So if a couple of years is what it takes to spend your life with someone.. it's small in comparison. Especially when you've been doing it a while as is. Doesn't make it any less hard or want them less, but yeah.

[Haley53]

I'll be back. <3

[Gemini]

Yeah that's about how it is when I looked at it, but its once in a life time you feel like this about someone really. And when you think about it harder, after all the trials and tribulations, you don't ever have to worry about being apart again. So if a couple of years is what it takes to spend your life with someone.. it's small in comparison. Especially when you've been doing it a while as is. Doesn't make it any less hard or want them less, but yeah.

Your right it is worth it but so frustrating and scarey at the same time, im really hopeing the day comes soon where we wont be apart again and hopeing it wont last longer than a year getting the money and everything.

[HollzHeartsChris]

I'm going through this stage right now. Distance is a real pain, and I understand a move for either of us is going to cost a lot. I guess we just have to keep on fighting and hoping that this stage ends pretty quickly.

[LilyChiba]

It's really a matter of choosing what you can live without for a time. Cut out anything you don't really need to save money where possible. I know when I get a job, on bare minimum costs, I could save up to 300-400 a week just going on what I am on now (gov welfare). And that's on minimum wage here in australia. Couple of months, it adds up pretty quick. But you never know, could be emergencies. Just a matter of finding work. But yes, it is frustrating and sometimes I just want to bash my head against a wall. But I love him and I ain't giving up =D

[Silvaria]

Gemini, I totally hear you. Moving my SO here is turning out to be almost impossible for us, financially. We're both working hard just to stay afloat, and saving is almost impossible. There are nights when I lie in bed and feel like crying because I ache so badly to be with him, and some days, I even feel like the distance is just too much.

But I think LilyChiba described my feelings quite well...I honestly believe this is a once-in-a-lifetime relationship, the kind where our compatibility on so many issues is unlikely to ever be found again. When I think about how much I love him, I know that there's just no way I can give it up. Yes, it will be quite some time before we're able to even visit again, much less look towards moving him here, but once it's done, it's done. It will never have to be done again. And another year or two is nothing compared to the many years that I honestly believe we will share together.

I have two things I try to remember when I'm feeling as frustrated as you describe:

1) Every single day I live through is one day closer to being with him, and

2) Someday this will all be a memory, and I'll be falling asleep next to him every night, and waking up next to him every morning.

Just my two cents.

[Zephii]

I need to ask why it's costing you 15k, seriously. Obi and I are international, and it didn't cost us anywhere near that the first time we closed the distance (which would still be closed if he didn't leave it til the last minute to apply for his visa.) and when he gets his visa and moves over here this time, it's costing us about 5 grand.
I can't fathom it costing 15k

Good luck with your German I'm so greatful I don't have to learn a language to be with my SO, but I admire all of you who do it!

Don't give up hope. It's just money. If we're willing to work hard we can always make more money.

[snow_girl]

I agree with Zephii, to close the distance I had saved 8 grand and that was with extra padding just incase. THe most a flight to Germany is tops $1500. Why are they asking you german questions? I've been to Germany several times and have never had to answer 6 german questions or is it for a visa?

[LilyChiba]

It pends on where you are and which way you go really. The cost of a US fiance visa is about $2000 after everything apparently. Put on top of that you have to visit at least once with plane flights being around $2500 right now. They prefer more than one visit. So putting two, that's already $7000. Then the wedding can be between $2-20000. Personally my own would only be like at most $3000. So there is $10000 already. Just on visa fees, two flights and a wedding. Then the cost of moving stuff from one country to another, changing names back at home, getting settled, so on. :/

Quick Edit: Thanks SIlvaria. Glad to know I'm not the only one that thinks this way Although its hard to continue that train of thought all the time XD Can't be a solider 24/7.

[Enric]

What's 15k? 15km?

[LilyChiba]

Money, Enric. Not distance

[snow_girl]

15 thousand dollars

[ioanna]

big hugs!

i'm going through the exact same realisations, and it's so hard to accept...
it was always a question of him coming to me, and now we're looking into the opposite, and it's so overwhelming... hang in there, you'll find a way

[Gemini]

Thanks for all the comments i appreciate them a lot!


And yeah it is frustrating but im trying my best to deal with all of thise, and it seems wayyy too overwehlming like everythings comeing at me at once ><.

Any $15,000 for

Plain ticket
Tranlationist
German Test
Winter Clothing
Health Insurance
Prove i have enough money in the bank so they know i wont be homeless
Passport
Learning German books (where $80 ._. )

My fiance said its roughly around 15k for everything .__. but yeah @_@ it is overwhelming a bit

Plus finding a job is so frustrating atm, we are both saving money up together im triying to sell all my old things so i can get some money peny by peny to save up

I really appreciate the posts, and im glad im not alone in this its nice knowing people share how you feel in a situation like this its comforting.