anyone else is NOT on your SOs Facebook or doesnt want your SO on yours?

[JennyRW]

It's possible he's cheating or it's possible he's having a hard time dealing with your insecurities.

Those are the 2 options, like we don't know you and we don't know him we cannot know which of both is the answear... I can tell you that if my bf would do that to me I would be pretty ofernded and I would probably break up with him because I'm not jelous at all so if he hides something is not because of me, is because of him... But that is not my situation, I trust 100% in him and he trust 100% in me. When I go to visit him and I stay at his place while he is at work, he leaves his email and FB open, so if I wanted I could see everything, but I trust him so much that I don't need to check anything, he doesn't hide a thing for me! And that is the kind of relationship I believe is healthy

[Mara]

I have been following your threads about your SO since I've been on this site and I have to say either you portray things much worse than they are or you are dragging on an unhealthy relationship that has no hope of success. Whether you are in the right or the wrong or he is, is really irrelevant. What's important is whether the two of you as mature adults can make compromises, sacrifices, and allowances that can constitute a healthy, normal relationship. It seems like neither of you are willing to compromise, not only on this issue, but on a variety of fundamental issues. I just don't see how without compromise a relationship can work. Trust is a huge issue in your relationship as well whether justifiably or not.

Bottom line is either the two of you both collectively try to turn this relationship into something better, you just accept things the way they are, or stop going around the merry go round.

As for Facebook, my boyfriend has his privacy settings set so that no one can see his friends or his relationship status. Am I worried about this? No. I trust my boyfriend even from hundreds of miles away and I don't think our relationship could work if I didn't have that trust.

[Miramaid]

Those are the 2 options, like we don't know you and we don't know him we cannot know which of both is the answear... I can tell you that if my bf would do that to me I would be pretty ofernded and I would probably break up with him because I'm not jelous at all so if he hides something is not because of me, is because of him... But that is not my situation, I trust 100% in him and he trust 100% in me. When I go to visit him and I stay at his place while he is at work, he leaves his email and FB open, so if I wanted I could see everything, but I trust him so much that I don't need to check anything, he doesn't hide a thing for me! And that is the kind of relationship I believe is healthy

i really envy you!!!!!

[Enric]

I'm in her FB, actually we often chat by FB. I would feel quite bad if I know she uses FB but doesn't want to add me. I already a bit jealous when i saw her typing sweet comments to another guy by FB but she explained me that and fine.

You have to talk to your SO. You have to ask "Why don't you want to add me?", he HAS to give you a good reason for reject adding you. A relationship needs trust, you need to get it for save your relationship.

[Miramaid]

I have been following your threads about your SO since I've been on this site and I have to say either you portray things much worse than they are or you are dragging on an unhealthy relationship that has no hope of success. Whether you are in the right or the wrong or he is, is really irrelevant. What's important is whether the two of you as mature adults can make compromises, sacrifices, and allowances that can constitute a healthy, normal relationship. It seems like neither of you are willing to compromise, not only on this issue, but on a variety of fundamental issues. I just don't see how without compromise a relationship can work. Trust is a huge issue in your relationship as well whether justifiably or not.

Bottom line is either the two of you both collectively try to turn this relationship into something better, you just accept things the way they are, or stop going around the merry go round.

As for Facebook, my boyfriend has his privacy settings set so that no one can see his friends or his relationship status. Am I worried about this? No. I trust my boyfriend even from hundreds of miles away and I don't think our relationship could work if I didn't have that trust.

We do not have trust in the relationship. Both of us. Compromise? He offered me a compromise: adding me but not letting ME (not everyone else, but ME) see his friends and his wall. Then what is the point of adding me? There are reasons WHY i want to be on his FB and yes those reasons have to do with his behavior. And there are reasons why he DOESN'T want me to be on his FB and he says it is because I give too much meaning to what i see there, but I KNOW i do not express it to him in any crazy way AND because of his behavior and the things that had happened before AND him not wanting to add me and would rather break up with me than add me COMPLETELY, well all that to me shows that he is either cheating or at least hiding something. So are my insecurities legit? I think so. To build trust he needs to add me.

---------- Post added at 12:59 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:58 AM ----------

I have been following your threads about your SO since I've been on this site and I have to say either you portray things much worse than they are or you are dragging on an unhealthy relationship that has no hope of success. Whether you are in the right or the wrong or he is, is really irrelevant. What's important is whether the two of you as mature adults can make compromises, sacrifices, and allowances that can constitute a healthy, normal relationship. It seems like neither of you are willing to compromise, not only on this issue, but on a variety of fundamental issues. I just don't see how without compromise a relationship can work. Trust is a huge issue in your relationship as well whether justifiably or not.

Bottom line is either the two of you both collectively try to turn this relationship into something better, you just accept things the way they are, or stop going around the merry go round.

As for Facebook, my boyfriend has his privacy settings set so that no one can see his friends or his relationship status. Am I worried about this? No. I trust my boyfriend even from hundreds of miles away and I don't think our relationship could work if I didn't have that trust.

We do not have trust in the relationship. Both of us. Compromise? He offered me a compromise: adding me but not letting ME (not everyone else, but ME) see his friends and his wall. Then what is the point of adding me? There are reasons WHY i want to be on his FB and yes those reasons have to do with his behavior. And there are reasons why he DOESN'T want me to be on his FB and he says it is because I give too much meaning to what i see there, but I KNOW i do not express it to him in any crazy way AND because of his behavior and the things that had happened before AND him not wanting to add me and would rather break up with me than add me COMPLETELY, well all that to me shows that he is either cheating or at least hiding something. So are my insecurities legit? I think so. To build trust he needs to add me.

[snow_girl]

So what, he adds you and everything is suddenly hunky dory? I think the trust issues in this relationship run waaaay deeper then just him not adding you on facebook. Why are you wasting your time?

[Malaga]

So are my insecurities legit? I think so. To build trust he needs to add me.

I agree with you. If you have less access to his FB profile than people on his friends list, that's a huge red flag. It's not like you asked for his password. Adding you, his girlfriend, to his public profile on a social network is in no way an invasion of his privacy. Don't let him convince you of otherwise. IMO he's either doing something he knows he shouldn't, or he's genuinely worried you might misinterpret his FB activity. If the latter is true, then he should know that hiding his activity is only going to aggravate the problem. As Mara said, the issue obviously goes deeper than this. And this is no way of handling it.

My boyfriend and I are on each other's contact lists on pretty much all social networking sites we're members of. He even sends me invites when he joins new places. We don't have a relationship status disclosed on FB either, but we both have profile pics where we're together. We're hardly active on FB tbh, all he ever does really is posts photos from his travels, and I post an occasional status update.

[Moon]

[QUOTE=Miramaid;147947]We do not have trust in the relationship. Both of us. Compromise? He offered me a compromise: adding me but not letting ME (not everyone else, but ME) see his friends and his wall. Then what is the point of adding me? There are reasons WHY i want to be on his FB and yes those reasons have to do with his behavior. And there are reasons why he DOESN'T want me to be on his FB and he says it is because I give too much meaning to what i see there, but I KNOW i do not express it to him in any crazy way AND because of his behavior and the things that had happened before AND him not wanting to add me and would rather break up with me than add me COMPLETELY, well all that to me shows that he is either cheating or at least hiding something. So are my insecurities legit? I think so. To build trust he needs to add me.[COLOR="Silver"]

Listen to what you just said. Re-read this and listen to yourself. For the life of me, I can't figure out why you're together, this is not a healthy or viable relationship. Trust is the most important thing in any relationship, and yours doesn't have any. Where are you supposed to go from there? This is Facebook for chrissake, FACEBOOK, the most drama-inducing site ever, and look what you're letting it do to you. And the two of you aren't kids, these are the kind of problems I'd expect to hear from a couple of 16 year olds, I don't mean to offend, but maybe you need to hear that so it'll give you reason to reassess your situation.

Look, I think you know what you should do, what good is being in a relationship that causes such hurt? It's so not worth it, especially when it's an LDR. Do what you want, but if this were my situation, I would get out of it immediately.