Should I Mention It Again?

[loveknowsnodistance27]

Since we became LD again, my SO and I have been having a tougher time communicating. I don't hear from him as much as I used to. I like for us to text at least once a day for a little while, just so I can know he's alright and of course to have a conversation with him I worry about something happening to him. I love talking to him so much, but sometimes he just doesn't give me enough attention. I've addressed communication with him a few times these past 4 weeks, but I don't think he understands...I think maybe I need to say to him that if I don't hear from him, I start to worry because I care so much about him. What should I do? I've brought this up a few times, so I don't want to be a nag, but I haven't really seen much improvement. He's also very busy with his schoolwork, floor activities and working on campus too. It's just tough for me because I'm not as busy as he is.

[Haley53]

I think maybe you need to start looking at ways to fill your schedule. Is it possible that he contact you when he's home? Or when he has a spare chance? A text or an e-mail simply saying he's doing okay? The two issues here seem to be that he's busy and you're not, and your worry/paranoia is irrational in the sense it's unlikely a day without talking means anything tragic or drastic has happened. What does he say when you bring it up? Being honest, it sounds like he's busy and with that schedule, I imagine it'd be hard to fit any extra in; I'm assuming he makes time for you when he's able. In this situation, I think I would start focusing more on you and keeping yourself busy. Go out with friends, go out with family, pick up new hobbies, sign up for a class or two, volunteer, apply for work, etc.; find ways to keep your mind occupied. That's honestly what I would suggest because if there hasn't been improvement since the past 4 times you've brought it up, I doubt there would be the 5th; being frank, he sounds busy, and I would try and busy myself in order to avoid nagging/pushing my SO too much.

[JessicaT]

If he doesn't respect your wishes and understand how important it is to you, he's not worth it! He should cherish you and be excited to hear from you every day.

[kiara_silver]

Sometimes life gets busy and hectic, and its hard talking everyday. In my own experience my SO got really busy with school and work that he couldn't talk everyday (why im a bit surprised we been talking daily with his new busy schedule, Happy, but surprised) we would go multiple days without talking, and then at one point when he did talk to me i felt he was rushing it, or he would go out with friends or just it felt like he had no time for me. But I wasn't seeing his side fully, and how busy he really was and how he needed to get out and get some air and unwind after being so busy. He's always reassured me that im first in his life and he loves me, so as hard at it is, I think just giving him his space is best. Its so hard not talking everyday, but in a LDR it happens. I would say focus on you, it does get better and picks up again, I like setting dates, specific days plan to spend the day together, so you have that to look forward to and in the meantime don't bug or wonder when you'll get to talk to him, If you do great! But if not at least you have that date to look forward to. I know its hard but hang in there

[loveknowsnodistance27]

Thanks! It's been tough, but I'm also extremely hormonal right now so that's probably making it worse for me too lol. I do need to make more time for myself...I know I do. It's always been tough for me to do that because I'm such an introvert, but I'm trying. I guess I have more of a chance to miss him lol. I mean, I have to pass his house every day on my way off to college. That always reminds me of the LDR every day because I know he's not there. But, I'm definitely working on it. It's going to take some time, but I think I'll be able to do this and make myself feel better. He is so worth it and when we do talk, we have great conversations. =] Thanks everyone! I guess it's just tough also because I'm visiting in almost 9 days and I'm getting so excited for that trip! Also, I know I won't get to talk to him all weekend because he's going camping with his floor through his college. I'll be fine, we'll be fine. =]

[JennyRW]

I know what is to be busy, I'm busy all the time, my bf is too, however we communicate as much as we can, we taxt each other several times a day and we speak over the phone every night, so I don't think "to be busy" is an acceptable excuse, maybe for one day or two, but that's it... I believe that if you want to do something you do it no matter what, well even when I'm really busy, communication with my bf is so important for me that I see how can we maintan it, even if its just talking for 5 minutes... So if he really wanted to maintain the communication with you he would already do something about it...

[Laura_N]

I'm having this same issue with my SO. I have a few times gently tried to nudge her to realize that I would like her to use more time on me, and I think it was a week ago when I directly told it to her. I suggested we could put aside some time every week, just for the two of us for like an hour or two, and do something nice or simply just talk. All I got back was a few questions and that we'll talk about it later. Later is yet to come and today she announced me her wrist and thumb are really in pain and she won't be using laptop or iStuff for a few days. That's a reason I understand, but still, it sucks, because I know she'll most likely use that time for working. She works crazy hours and her job definitely goes in front of me. We haven't had a proper conversation for probably a week and a half.

I wish I knew what advice to give to you... But all I can say is that I know how you feel.