amazing and..wow..painful

[Louise_B]

I've only had to walk away from my SO once. Well he walked away from me as i waited to board my plane. I didnt cry, I didnt feel upset, i felt pretty much ok. Infact i cannot recall how i felt. The night before however, I cried like a baby as i laid in his arms in bed. He gave me the biggest hug and told me i didnt need to cry for another 12 hours and that he was still there (I guess i found it easier to cry when he was there because i knew he would be there to comford me, I would have rather cried right there and then that night laying in bed with him instead of when i was on my own and i didnt have no comfort)The week after the visit i was completely numb, I didnt talk about him i dodged conversations so i didnt talk about our visit OR him. My mum actually thought i had lost interest. But bang on the week mark; I broke down, Bawling my eyes out. I had never felt so alone and so lost in my entire life, It was the worst experience and feelings i could imagine that hit me all at once. It took me roughly 2-3 weeks before i could balance my emotions out. However, it was tough; The week i started to feel something again (Missing him) He actually got sent to Sniper school which meant a drastic change with communication. If it wasnt bad enough walking away from him already but communication was cut down. That lasted 3 weeks and it sucked so bad.

I felt worse for him because i had to LEAVE his house, His town. So when he went back to his house after dropping me off. I had left stuff in his room. He must of felt empty. Hes over here in December and im hoping its not going to be as tough. Because i know i need to be stronger as June he is being deployed!.

I must be stronger i must be stronger i must be stronger. It will get better it will get better it will get better

[KimSoon2BMerritt]

As I read many of these comments I realize how much of a punk I am! I hate long distance, I don't understand how 2 people that profess their love to one another would chose to go on for years without making the transition to be together forever? I have only been doing this since June and I am already losing my mind! I don't know if I/we will survive this? This is so foreign to me...how do you not feel neglected because of the distance? I know we love each other and that we have this amazing chemistry and we will finally be meeting in a few weeks...meeting again (we were teenagers the last only other time I ever saw him). But we have almost broken up at least 3 or 4 times mostly because of my inability to cope with LD. He is ex-military and super intelligent which I guess makes this LD easier for him, but I'm treading water and have almost ruined this with my insecurities! I'm hoping this group can help me stay sane! lol, because I am crazy in love!

[Ejoriah]

I don't understand how 2 people that profess their love to one another would chose to go on for years without making the transition to be together forever?

Unfortunately love doesn't waive visas or pay bills

[Verojoon]

Unfortunately love doesn't waive visas or pay bills

or negates respective responsabilities...

On the original topic: Oy! It's so hard! Our last visit, my SO asked me not to be emotional... because he had a 36+ hours travel tp get home and he didn't want to be a mess... so I did everything to hold it in until he was gone... but as soon as he was gone I felt double (well tripple but that's another story) cheated becausse not only wasn't he there, but he was also not there to comfort me... I am addicted to crying in his arms...

[alittlemind]

I've only had to leave my boyfriend behind once, but it really broke my heart. My boyfriend really isn't the one to cry, in fact in the beginning of our relationship he told me I would probably never see him cry, but on the morning that I had to leave, I was sitting on the floor and he was standing, and all of a sudden he fell to his knees, grabbed on to me and hugged me tight, and just let it all out. He cried more then I did that morning. I had no idea how I was supposed to leave when he was so sad, I was heartbroken. I have no idea how I managed to let go of him and get on a plane. I think what made it easier was that I knew that I really loved him, and he really loved me, and as long as we both wanted to do this, and were willing to fight for each other, it wouldn't be so bad. And of course I miss him like crazy, and I can't imagine how much it's going to hurt if I have to leave him behind again (or vice versa) but I know in my heart that we can get through this. As he always says, these months are nothing compared to the forever we'll get to spend together. He gives me hope.

[Ejoriah]

I try not to cry around my boyfriend too, because I know he's being strong for me and I need to be strong for him. I've cried on the way to the airport but it hits me even more when the plane takes off. Like, there is NO WAY for me to turn around at that point. I will cry when he leaves my place, just plop on my bed and snuggle with the covers that still have his smell. However when this visit ends, after three months of seeing him everyday and living in what is ultimately "our" apartment, I think we will both break down. I've already broken down and I know he's sad, even though he hides it really well.

Also yay old thread.

[pretty ll vacant]

For me, it gets harder everytime. In fact, i leave to see my bf in a little more than 2 weeks but I'm already over here getting sad about leaving him when I haven't even got there yet! You got to keep yourself as busy as you can to keep from dwelling on the fact that she's not there. Also planning upcoming visits will give you something to look forward to and I find that it really helps. It gets really hard sometimes but knowing that the end result is all worth it, and that the distance is only temporary makes it easier to endure.

[tigerlady]

So far it has only gotten harder for me. I am leaving in 10 days to be with him for my birthday over Labor Day weekend with 2 extra days included and I don't know when I will see him again. There has always been a plan for the next time but there isn't this time and it already hurts to think about it.
What makes it the most hard for me is everytime I leave or he leaves it seems I am the only one bothered by it. He is not one to express sad emotions so I'm sure that is part of it, but it hurts me a little more to feel he is ok with me leaving. I don't know what to think about that, but I do know I don't have to doubt his love for me so that eases the pain a little.

[MattDavies86]

3 times she has come to the airport with my when I leave and it is has been so hard, really, I hate it, i start to walk away and then we go back together again! lol and I absolutely hate it, the first time I go to te airport 7 hours early, a miscalculation on my part as I should have had a connecting flight from another part of the country, but I missed that because I stayed with her, so went to the airport for the FIRST flights times not my actual flight from the main airport, DOH. needless to say, 7 hours, in the same country but cant see her, ouch.

[alizee]

As I read many of these comments I realize how much of a punk I am! I hate long distance, I don't understand how 2 people that profess their love to one another would chose to go on for years without making the transition to be together forever? I have only been doing this since June and I am already losing my mind! I don't know if I/we will survive this? This is so foreign to me...how do you not feel neglected because of the distance? I know we love each other and that we have this amazing chemistry and we will finally be meeting in a few weeks...meeting again (we were teenagers the last only other time I ever saw him). But we have almost broken up at least 3 or 4 times mostly because of my inability to cope with LD. He is ex-military and super intelligent which I guess makes this LD easier for him, but I'm treading water and have almost ruined this with my insecurities! I'm hoping this group can help me stay sane! lol, because I am crazy in love!

I can totally relate! My mind is a wreck! This is also new to me too! And my SO doesn*t want to talk everyday and this is also hard on me ... I know he has a stressful job, with many extra hours, but still I would hope we could talk daily... other than that he is a nice person - polite, smart, intelligent, funny, sincere, etc. He*s also not very romantic, but maybe that*s because of me, because he seems to follow the trend that I am giving the relationship. I avoided using loving words or saying I love you to him, because I think this is too early (can 3 months be early to say these words in an LDR? I don*t know) and we haven*t even met. Hopefully our meeting in September will improve things between us.
As I said, I am a nervous wreck - one minute I cry, and the next I laugh and I am so emotional - so it*s very hard this LDR thing! This is not happening to my SO I guess, because if he did feel like me (missing him) he would be more present and call me often, no matter how tired from work he is. But I guess men can be a little insensitive and cold with expressing their feelings, because I feel that this is my SO*s way of being.

[tigerlady]

I can totally relate! My mind is a wreck! This is also new to me too! And my SO doesn*t want to talk everyday and this is also hard on me ... I know he has a stressful job, with many extra hours, but still I would hope we could talk daily... other than that he is a nice person - polite, smart, intelligent, funny, sincere, etc. He*s also not very romantic, but maybe that*s because of me, because he seems to follow the trend that I am giving the relationship. I avoided using loving words or saying I love you to him, because I think this is too early (can 3 months be early to say these words in an LDR? I don*t know) and we haven*t even met. Hopefully our meeting in September will improve things between us.
As I said, I am a nervous wreck - one minute I cry, and the next I laugh and I am so emotional - so it*s very hard this LDR thing! This is not happening to my SO I guess, because if he did feel like me (missing him) he would be more present and call me often, no matter how tired from work he is. But I guess men can be a little insensitive and cold with expressing their feelings, because I feel that this is my SO*s way of being.

My man is the same way. We do try to talk every day but there are times it just seems he isn't interested in talking or wanting to be on the phone all that long. Others it's hard to get him off the phone!!! I would feel insecure about it, but when we are together I am the center of his world. I just spent some time with him over labor day weekend and told him I love how he makes me feel that way. He told me I am always the center of his world except when he is at work or running errands, and cannot imagine a future without me.
That being said, I used to think love was something that just didn't happen. It was all a little game in God's plan of messing with our heads now and then, then I met him. He and I were professing love less than 2 months after meeting. In the first 2 weeks we spent together when we first met, we both were fighting feelings like crazy and we actually talked about it so we knew where we were headed.
So, just go with the flow!! Men do not think like us women do and something that may help is a book everyone has heard of and I actually read a few years back. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Might sound corny and may take a bit to get into it but it is soooooo useful in understanding a man. I know all the things about women were about dead on and a guy friend who read it said the same as far as what is written about men. Give it a shot, maybe it will help.