I feel bad...

[ChrisMich]

Hey LDR,



Well as you know from the thread title... I feel bad.. just a few minutes ago, I was talking to my sweetheart... She was talking to her ex boyfriend friend on MSN while chatting with me on Yahoo. Me and her were joking around with him because we all watched LMFAO's latest song, "I'm Sexy and I know it." and he was saying that he'd join them and then the conversation changed about him taking her to a male strip club for her next birthday and then he told her that I should jump up on a table and shake it for her (I said I would lol, but I dont have a cam.) and then he said..Well get up and please your woman... and then I snapped and told him to not tell me how to please my woman (he's her ex, he had no right telling me how to please my woman)...and things all went downhill from there..

don't want to tl ; dr here but eh..

She said he was joking and asked if I was mad at her...I said nah.. it was a joke..then I said I was mad at him at first for trying to tell me how to please her...then she got upset because she thought I was mad at her then said she had to go to bed..then I apologized for basically being a killjoy because they were having fun and joking around with me...then she said she shouldn't have joked like that...and yeah.. I made her feel like shit and now I feel bad... sorry if this is all confusing i'm just really hating myself right now and feeling bad...

Now I can't sleep.. my stomach is hurting.. -_-

[snow_girl]

Seems like a weird situation to be in in the first place. I definitely wouldn't have a convo with my SO and his ex or my ex. I wouldn't worry too much about it though. Try to sleep on it and everything will seem not so bad in the morning. Maybe just tell her you are sorry again tomorrow and that maybe chatting with an ex shouldn't happen again?

[Madge]

This seems weird. I don't think I would ever want to be in a position of a three way chat with my SO and his ex or vice versa via msn/chat as things can definitely be mis-constructed.

I'm sure by the time the morning comes and you get a chance to chat with your SO things will have settled themselves out

[Haley53]

Needless to say, it does sound like you took his comment in a way that was... more than intended. Considering the context and nature of the conversation, it sounds like he was playing around and you took it personally and flipped. From what I can see, he wasn't "telling you how to please your woman" - I don't gather that at all - but rather he made a joke that you perceived as taking it too far. This has happened between my partner with a girlfriend and I. She and I were messing about, kidding around, and at one point she said something hilarious that I wanted to share with my partner, so I did. He ended up taking it a little bit personally/sensitively and for far more than it was intended to mean, and being honest, yes, it did ruin my mood for the night and it put an end to the joking about with my friend.

I would guess the same thing happened here. Maybe you shouldn't be in a conversation with her and her ex - I feel like you should be 100% confident and secure before entering a three-way conversation where it's you, the partner, and the ex - and maybe if you were, it should have been a three-way call as opposed to having been over messenger. It's a lot easier for things to end up being misconstrued or misinterpreted over the internet and based solely off of text and text alone, and it sounds like a misinterpretation is what ended up happening. He made a joke about pleasing your woman, you took it too seriously, and you snapped because of it.

Personally, I do think she deserves an apology. I think he deserves an apology. She said he was joking, from the context of the conversation, I too imagine he was joking, and I think they both deserve to hear an apology for snapping at him/her for it. Being angry at a friend or an ex or anyone who may be now or at one point close to your partner... It's going to hurt if you're angry at them, no matter if you're angry at your partner as well. I would explain that you took it seriously/too seriously and you're sorry for snapping and then let that be that. It's water under the bridge.

In the future, I'd avoid having three way conversations like that simply to avoid something like this from happening again.

[JennyRW]

she put you in a very unconfortable situation, it is too weird to be joking like that with your so's ex... So I dont think is your fault