Thoughts about the future...

[NaNi]

Most of you are probably familiar with mine and Rebecca's situation, but I'm going to write the basics just in case: I have one year of school left and if it all works out smoothly I'm going to be a foreign language correspondent. I thought I'd be useful for my future in New Zealand. BUT... I think I'm going to fail one of my classes. Which means I wouldn't get the qualification. Which means two wasted years... and wasted money. Money I could have used for my move to New Zealand.

Now, school just gets so overwhelming lately. Everything is going super and I have really good marks, but that one class... whenever the teacher says something I feel lost and I have no idea what she's talking about. Which is scaring me. It also feels like I have too much to catch up on. Whenever she calls out my name and wants an answer I panic and can't think clearly. Plus the important tests are coming soon. It's freaking me out. I just want to quit, but I know it's not the best thing to do. I'm even losing sleep because of this.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this... I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that it's not the end of the world if I fail this school? It would be useful, but I think I'd still have many options in New Zealand. I'm fluent in English and German, so that's something to work with. Maybe I could even continue school over there? It's also A LOT easier to find a job in New Zealand than it is in Germany. I sent out over 300 applications, but only got 2 job interviews in the past. One went well until they fucked me over and kicked me out 3 days later - without informing me about it. Yeah, it basically sucks.

Right now I'd rather just get a full-time job and earn money. Money which I need to move together with my SO. I barely have any left. Just over €1200. But I can't earn enough money if I'm still in school... which I'm probably going to fail anyway.

Basically... I'm just so frustrated with my situation right now.

[blankita719]

It's not the end of the world. When I was in college I failed my first class ever. I'd never failed a class before and I thought the world was going to end. But it didn't. I ended up being able to re-take the class and I got a tutor first thing who helped me though it. I don't know if re-taking the class is an option for you, but what about finding a tutor? Or maybe setting up massive study sessions with some of the people in the class with you?

And if not an option, then your education hasn't been a waste. I took a few years off during college. I went my first year then dropped out for a few while I worked and tried to figure out what I wanted to do in life. Working teaches you a lot of things too. I wish I could give you a clear answer on what you should do, but I think you'll turn out fine no matter which direction you take

[milaya]

I'm not sure what I can say.

I've also had a lot of speculations regarding my education, especially lately where we have to take (and pass) a lot of classes that has no connection to my major (Japanese) and like you I often find myself confused and stressed.
I have almost 3 years left though. I already speak Danish, English and Japanese, so I've also thought about leaving all the stress behind and just move to Japan. Especially since I'm pretty much guaranteed a visa, due to my marriage.

But....
I'm a person who hates regrets. If I've done or chosen something that later makes me regret it, even very small things, I'll keep thinking about it and get myself down over it. Which is one thing that my far more care-free husband can't seem to understand, at all.
I fear that if I dropped out of university, I might be happy the following years in Japan, but what if something happened? Like if we got divorced and I had to return to Denmark and then suddenly I had nothing but a high school degree? Then I could regret that I was in such a hurry to get out of Denmark in the first place.
I'm also trying to avoid thoughts such as "If I had stayed I could have graduated this year".

I guess what I'm trying to say is, it might be painful and stressful now, but if you do complete your education and other problems on your path, I believe you have nothing to regret later on. I might now seem like it now, but I don't believe that you will in the future think back and say "I regret that I didn't move to New Zealand 1-2 earlier". On the other hand I do believe it's possible to look back and think "I regret I didn't finish that course, it could have been useful now".

You have a long future ahead of you and I don't think rushing is the best action.
I'm not trying to say "be smart and stay in school" since, like I said, I've also had a lot of worries and speculations and if I said that I hadn't shed a tear due to my education - I would lie.

Of course, in the end you should do what makes you happy. I just believe that even on the road to happiness there's a few speed bumps and steep hills we have to get past. I guess that's what in the end adds to the feeling of accomplishment.

I wish you the best of luck in your future thinking... because I know it is not easy.
*hugs*

[NaNi]

Thanks for the replies!

I will definitely continue with school, but if I should already fail the first test (I failed them last year as well)... ah. I will just make sure that all my other marks are really good because I had a talk with my mom and even if I shouldn't get a certificate... I would still get a report card. There'd be a big "failed" stamped on it, but at least I can use that report card to show how excellent my other marks were. And maybe, just maybe, it will work out in the end... it's just not looking too good right now.

[Haley53]

Even if it's not the best situation/time for it currently, is there any way you could find a tutor? Or even connect with a classmate who might be able to help you study the material for the exam?

[NaNi]

I probably could, but I will try it on my own. I will take more time to study as well. It's just really hard to stay focused when you're losing motivation and just want to do something differently.

[Haley53]

I understand. :/

I wouldn't give up yet, however. I was this way in computer science. I was convinced I was going to fail the class. I was doing well on assignments, did so-so on the midterm, but was failing quiz after quiz after quiz, occasionally scoring even below the average of the class, which was 5/20. The teacher was horrible, the teaching assistants were horrible, and there were no tutors available for computer science for the term - and, he didn't grade on a curve. I was completely stressed out, to the point I stopped paying attention in class, stopped giving a rat's about assignments, and so on. I was burned out and beaten down because I was convinced I could not do it. But then finals time came around and I somehow managed to call on one last bit of strength to prepare for it and take it (I was seriously considering skipping it and taking an automatic fail, or scribbling down half-arsed answers). I ended up passing the class with a B. I'm imagining the studying paid off somehow. :P

So my advice is to study, work hard at it, talk to another student if necessary, talk to the teacher or one of the TAs if necessary, and try not to give up on it. It's not over til it's over and you may not fail it like you think you will. <3

[WakeUpSusie]

I would advise you to do absolutely everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, in your power to avoid failing this class. Work your butt off, get a tutor, put in ridiculous amounts of studying, meet with your professor biweekly, whatever you have to do. Since your degree/certificate is on the line, failing almost isn't an option for you. If you can do all of these things, there is a good chance you will be able to pass, and that way you won't need to worry about wasting money you could have used to move to NZ and this won't be an issue. Just try to pass, even if it's a low pass. It will be SO worth it in the end, and you can do this.

[lucybelle]

Okay this might sound bad, but you better go suck up to your professor like there's no tomorrow. I'm a teacher and I know that if I have a really nice student, who I see is trying really hard and just not getting it, I will always help them out. Start by sending emails to the professor saying things like " I thought this was interesting in class today, but I just don't 100% understand it. Please clarify" Then start going to office hours. Every day. Show that you're trying to do everything you can to pass the exams and the class. And finally, talk to your professor like a human being. Ask them about their weekend. What is their research in? Be interested. Say hello when you walk in and thank you when you leave. At then end of the year before grades come out, send an email saying "I know I might not be the top student in your class, but I really enjoyed it and learned a lot. I think I've been progressing through the semester and although I might not be at an A, it was always my goal to achieve one in your class."

TRUST MEEEEEE!! Do this!!! I've gotten through more than one class this way. Go ahead and say it's unethical, but I just think like this: "it's nice to be nice"

GOOD LUCK!

[JennyRW]

It is not the end of the world!!!! I know it's frustrating, but it's just one class, if you were falling almost all your classes well that is a big problem, but just one class is normal, there is always a mean teacher who not only doesn't know how to teach but also enjoy failing students... A long time ago, whech I was in college I thought I was going to fail a class and I cry so much! And my dad told me the he is proud of me because he sees me studying everyday and in my other classes I was doing great. He also said that it is imposible to never fail anything sbut he told me to do my best and if I fail doing it he would still be proud of me. (my parents were paying my studies, my uni was one of the most expensive on my country and for them that was a lot of money, and even though he was so proud of me about my excellent grades and the rest of the classes that he didn't care to pay again this class) So with his words he took some pressure from me and I did my best. At the end I passed the class, it was not my best score but I passed, and until now I have never fail any class.
I think you should just forgot about the pressure, if you fail it is not a big deal, just do your best to be proud of yourself that at least you did your best fight trying to pass the class!

[LilyChiba]

I'd like to point out that the going rate for getting an interview is actually like 1 in 150 applications, so that's no surprise there. At least that's how it is here according to the job agencies. I know this isn't Germany.. but yeah.

As for the class, maybe get some extra tutoring or something. Just say you don't understand. People can be pretty cool with things like that and willing to help. After all, that's what you're paying for. To be taught properly and if you find you can't understand, than whatever method they are using just isn't working for you personally. You shouldn't be afraid to ask for help.

[Mara]

I would definitely go and talk with your professor. My first go around in college, I became extremely overwhelmed in a couple classes, didn't seek any help whatsoever, and ended up failing them, feeling awful, and dropping out of university. Now that I'm back I've been seeking and vocalizing my need for help whenever it happens and let me tell you, if you just tell your professor you are having a hard time they will be more than happy to try to explain it differently or work with you until you get the concept.

It sounds like you are having a lot of anxiety over this, but don't. Freaking out and losing sleep will only make this situation worse. You need to be calm and focused if you are to pass this class. I'd also recommend focusing your studying on the things that you don't understand. If you understand something fairly well, I wouldn't spend much or any time studying it. Focus on what you don't understand and if you can't get a good grasp of it yourself don't be afraid to ask your teacher or classmates for help.