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How long is to long for the relationship to be a LDR?

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    #16
    Originally posted by Sierra View Post
    It really depends on the couple, and where the people are in their lives. For me, maximum is 18 months.
    ^ This..my SO and I are closing the distance end of next year 4 years was my limit and we will be closing that with 6 months spare

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      #17
      I didn't want to be in another long distance relationship, neither did my fiance. We agreed to see how things would go, but wanted to meet soon. I had nothing really tying me down in Oregon, although I knew it'd be hard to leave my family. I wanted to take things to new level.. if it worked out, awesome.. if not, that'd be okay too. Soo we tested it.. and here we are, 8 months later still going. I'm in love and I'm so happy with my life. I wouldn't change it for the world...

      I think there comes a time when you just know, you can't do it anymore. I love the physical part of the relationship just as much as I do anything else and I'm not sure I could go back to being LD.

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        #18
        Like other people said, it depends on the situation.
        My boyfriend and I have been long distance for a little over 1,5yrs and we're looking at another 3 years, before we can close the distance. We'll half the distance next year, but we'll still be long distance.
        I'm not happy about it, but we have visits about every three weeks and are hoping to visit more often from next year on. So while we eventually want to close the distance, we're not in a place where we would sacrifice a lot for it.

        It would be completely different, if we couldn't visit as often as we do now. I don't have a maximum really, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where I see my SO less than once a month, so it would probably be either closing the distance asap or no relationship.

        Być tam, zawsze tam, gdzie Ty.

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          #19
          To quote Dauntedpoet, "There just isn't a 'too long' for us."

          I will wait as long as it takes.

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            #20
            My SO and I have 5-8 years ahead of us. I came in thinking only 4 max but I'm just to young to give my whole life away. I want to finish schooling, get a job, live in the same city with my SO for a while before we decide anything.
            Visits (some people are talking about both). The longest I can possibly go is 75 days, maybe 100 if I had to. We usually end up visiting eachother for 3-4 days every 60-70. That's just how school allows us to do it.
            With that said, it's different for everyone and every relationship. If my SO had his way, he would say 4 years max but it's not 100% up to him either

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              #21
              I agree with Zephii. It's not so much a matter of how long for me, but more having a set date or goal in sight for when we will close the distance. My SO and I both agreed that we didn't want to do a LDR if we didn't know that we'd be able to close the distance soon. By the time we'll move in together and close the distance, we'll have been together for 2 years and LD for all but 2 months of that time.


              Love will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free

              Met: Cork, Ireland - December 31, 2009 • Started Dating: Cork, Ireland - May 22, 2010 • Became LD: July 15, 2010 • My Move From Canada to UK: October 26, 2011
              Closed the distance June 18, 2012!

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                #22
                Originally posted by kteire View Post
                I agree with Zephii. It's not so much a matter of how long for me, but more having a set date or goal in sight for when we will close the distance. My SO and I both agreed that we didn't want to do a LDR if we didn't know that we'd be able to close the distance soon. By the time we'll move in together and close the distance, we'll have been together for 2 years and LD for all but 2 months of that time.
                I want to add to this and say I'm inclined to agree. If something came up that put my SO's and my timeline off a bit, of course I would handle it, but having a date or goal set in sight for me is important to me because I do want to close the distance at some point and hopefully within a reasonable amount of time. :P
                { Our Story on LFAD }


                Our Beginning
                Met online: February 2009
                Feelings confessed: December 2010
                Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
                Officially together since: 08 April 2011

                Our Story
                First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
                Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
                Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
                Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013

                Our Happily Ever After
                to be continued...

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                  #23
                  I told my SO 3 years was it. That's all I was going to stand. We closed the distance at around 2 years. He knew if he didn't do something, he would have lost me. It might sound brutal, but it's the truth. Glad to still have him around

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                    #24
                    My SO and I decided to get through four years of college being semi-LD (as in I saw for a few months on long breaks and a few weekends each semester), but after that, we had to close the distance permanently. Our initial plan was to move in together this past summer after we both graduated (woo!), but he got an internship in Atlanta for June-August that kept us LD for a bit longer than we planned. To my shock, we got engaged in early September and moved in together a few weeks later. Total, we were LD for about four years and two weeks.

                    Overall, I don't think I could have done another year. Four was more than enough for me.

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                      #25
                      Although it's hard, I don't think I have a limit I could be in this LDR because I know my SO is the one I want to be with forever. Though having a rough plan on when and how we will end the distance is important to me and gives me hope when times get tough and the distance seems more unbearable. Currently our plans have us being in a LDR for at least 4 more years so we'll have been in one for over 5 with only a couple decent length visits per year and with webcam pretty much every day for a few hours even with the time difference but it's still hard. Though I know I couldn't be with anyone else so I'll wait as long as it takes. But since it's an international LDR and we're young and don't have much money it makes it take a bit longer, but I know he's worth it. Though I can't see how it would work if we didn't have a plan on closing the distance and eventually being together close distance forever/getting married.

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                        #26
                        since my bf and I have discussed marriage I don't want to be LD for too long- hopefully 2 years or less.

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                          #27
                          I don't like at all being in a long distance relationship, I don't cope good the distance, I don't like waiting so much for something so basic. I feel I really need to be near my SO. We don't have visites and her Internet sucks too often. So I feel very frustrated, I want to close the distance in some months in 2012 but probably won't be able of it. I feel I'm wasting and losing my youthness and my life without enjoy it at all, only living a torture. The most important is find a job for afford it and this part sounds impossible after so many years without find any, I'm waiting the answer of a job apply. If I'm accepted I see a solution for it but if I'm not... I don't know what to do.
                          Why am I always trying the impossible?

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