I honestly didn't know where to turn because I don't know anyone who could possibly understand this situation. This post my be a little wordy, but I will try to be as brief as possible.
On July 4th, 2011 I received a message from a female on the dating site I was a member of. She lives in Indiana, I live in Pennsylvania. I wasn't sure why she messaged me but I thought she was cute so I replied back. Over the next week we exchanged a couple of messages and then she sends me her phone number so we can start texting. I honestly didn't expect anything to come of this but I figured why not give a shot? Who knows, right?
Well around the beginning/middle of August after talking to this woman for this long, we finally decide to try and meet. And when I say talk, I mean by this point we were constantly texting each other every day and would pretty much talk on the phone every night. We knew so much about each other and we just really could tell that we clicked. Neither of us had done the long distance thing, especially without actually ever physically meeting someone. I really like this woman but I told her that I would need to meet her before I could really be willing to move forward with anything. She understood so she actually arranged a flight to come visit me in Pennsylvania. We were supposed to meet over Labor Day weekend at the beginning of September. Her parents were gonna drive with her to Indianapolis, about 3 hours from her hometown, Friday and they were gonna spend the day there and then she was going to catch her flight Saturday morning.........
She never made it to Indianapolis. On her way to Indy, she and her parents were involved in a head on collision on the highway when a woman in the opposing lane fell asleep at the wheel. All three were rushed to the hospital near Indy. I was unaware this had happened until she called me Friday night while I was at work and left me a sobbing voicemail telling me what happened. Her injuries were moderate. She needed to have some surgery on her crushed knee and her mom had some substantial injuries as well. Her dad was not so lucky, he was in very serious condition with multiple lacerated organs, broke ribs, arms, etc. He was alive, but not in good condition.......
At this time, I'd like to point out that both of us have very busy schedules, she was working full time and in graduate school and I was working full time as well, but for me between student loans and hospital bills from a previous injury, I was really not in the financial spot to just up and grab a couple hundred dollar plane ticket and take a couple days off work. We planned our meeting almost a month in advance so we could work around our schedules. And believe me when I found out what happened, I was ready to jump in my car and drive to Indy that night. But a 10 hour drive in a 14 year old car was probably not a good idea.
After about a week or so in the hospital she was released. Her mom was healing fine and her dad was getting better, he was conscious and talking but nowhere near ready to leave. I could not help but feel responsible for what happened, and neither could she. After a week or so of her being out of the hospital we both decided that neither of us were to blame and that we couldn't control what had happened.......
Then about a week and a half ago there was period of about 4 days where I had not heard from her. No response to calls/texts/e-mails, nothing. Keep in mind this was someone with whom I talked to in some form, EVERY DAY. I didn't know what had happened. She told me that if something happened to her, her parents or one of her friends would contact me and let me know...........
I finally heard back from her and the news was grievous. Her dad was still in the hospital and apparently he had gotten some kind of infection and that caused complications with his already weakened state and he passed away. When she found out her dad was taken a turn for the worse she and her mother dropped everything and drove back to Indy and in her haste, forgot her cell phone. Which is why she never replied back to me.
Ever since then she has been a little distant, which is understandable, I could not imagine what she is going through. She says she has been distant to everyone. We still text periodically throughout the day, though not as frequent as before. We have only talked on the phone a handful of times and she says hearing my voice makes her feel better. But I don't know what to do in this situation. I feel so helpless. I want to be there for her, I would fly out to Indiana if she wants me to, but I figure she still needs time to go through the grieving process. But I also can't imagine if this relationship can last through something like this. I mean, don't you think that every time she talks to me or down the road every time she sees me that all she will be able to think about is her dad? Don't you think that me and his death are now ultimately connected?
I just don't know what to do and I figured I would post my story on here and hope for any kind of useful advice as for what to do? I know this was long but it was the only way to convey the depth of the situation. So thank you for reading and I look forward to hearing your responses.
Yeagermeister
On July 4th, 2011 I received a message from a female on the dating site I was a member of. She lives in Indiana, I live in Pennsylvania. I wasn't sure why she messaged me but I thought she was cute so I replied back. Over the next week we exchanged a couple of messages and then she sends me her phone number so we can start texting. I honestly didn't expect anything to come of this but I figured why not give a shot? Who knows, right?
Well around the beginning/middle of August after talking to this woman for this long, we finally decide to try and meet. And when I say talk, I mean by this point we were constantly texting each other every day and would pretty much talk on the phone every night. We knew so much about each other and we just really could tell that we clicked. Neither of us had done the long distance thing, especially without actually ever physically meeting someone. I really like this woman but I told her that I would need to meet her before I could really be willing to move forward with anything. She understood so she actually arranged a flight to come visit me in Pennsylvania. We were supposed to meet over Labor Day weekend at the beginning of September. Her parents were gonna drive with her to Indianapolis, about 3 hours from her hometown, Friday and they were gonna spend the day there and then she was going to catch her flight Saturday morning.........
She never made it to Indianapolis. On her way to Indy, she and her parents were involved in a head on collision on the highway when a woman in the opposing lane fell asleep at the wheel. All three were rushed to the hospital near Indy. I was unaware this had happened until she called me Friday night while I was at work and left me a sobbing voicemail telling me what happened. Her injuries were moderate. She needed to have some surgery on her crushed knee and her mom had some substantial injuries as well. Her dad was not so lucky, he was in very serious condition with multiple lacerated organs, broke ribs, arms, etc. He was alive, but not in good condition.......
At this time, I'd like to point out that both of us have very busy schedules, she was working full time and in graduate school and I was working full time as well, but for me between student loans and hospital bills from a previous injury, I was really not in the financial spot to just up and grab a couple hundred dollar plane ticket and take a couple days off work. We planned our meeting almost a month in advance so we could work around our schedules. And believe me when I found out what happened, I was ready to jump in my car and drive to Indy that night. But a 10 hour drive in a 14 year old car was probably not a good idea.
After about a week or so in the hospital she was released. Her mom was healing fine and her dad was getting better, he was conscious and talking but nowhere near ready to leave. I could not help but feel responsible for what happened, and neither could she. After a week or so of her being out of the hospital we both decided that neither of us were to blame and that we couldn't control what had happened.......
Then about a week and a half ago there was period of about 4 days where I had not heard from her. No response to calls/texts/e-mails, nothing. Keep in mind this was someone with whom I talked to in some form, EVERY DAY. I didn't know what had happened. She told me that if something happened to her, her parents or one of her friends would contact me and let me know...........
I finally heard back from her and the news was grievous. Her dad was still in the hospital and apparently he had gotten some kind of infection and that caused complications with his already weakened state and he passed away. When she found out her dad was taken a turn for the worse she and her mother dropped everything and drove back to Indy and in her haste, forgot her cell phone. Which is why she never replied back to me.
Ever since then she has been a little distant, which is understandable, I could not imagine what she is going through. She says she has been distant to everyone. We still text periodically throughout the day, though not as frequent as before. We have only talked on the phone a handful of times and she says hearing my voice makes her feel better. But I don't know what to do in this situation. I feel so helpless. I want to be there for her, I would fly out to Indiana if she wants me to, but I figure she still needs time to go through the grieving process. But I also can't imagine if this relationship can last through something like this. I mean, don't you think that every time she talks to me or down the road every time she sees me that all she will be able to think about is her dad? Don't you think that me and his death are now ultimately connected?
I just don't know what to do and I figured I would post my story on here and hope for any kind of useful advice as for what to do? I know this was long but it was the only way to convey the depth of the situation. So thank you for reading and I look forward to hearing your responses.
Yeagermeister
that aside, you need to go to her. I don't care what other responsibilities you have or what your money situation is like. I know when need arises people can pull a surprising sum of money together. Her dad died while she was trying to meet you. Whilst that is indeed not your or her fault, I still think you owe her this visit. I think it's terrible that you haven't gone before. People are more important than money.
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